Peeing on a dresser...
- Thread starter greenchris
- Start date
I had to pick up the Captain of a US Navy ship (the one I was on at the time) from jail because he was arrested for peeing on a cop car that was parked outside the strip club he and other officers were being kicked out of.
He failed to notice the cop was in it at the time.
I have never gotten quite that drunk myself.
He failed to notice the cop was in it at the time.
I have never gotten quite that drunk myself.
There is some contention as to who caught it on fire. I think my roomate lit it on fire with a roman candle but he accuses me of doing it when I threw the tiki torch at him.jdschall said:
As long as it was in someone else's room, you're golden.....OGRipper said:
Mel Gibson would have just said that the Jews were responsible.Westy said:
+50 points for using the word golden in a pee thread.DRB said:
jimmydean said:
WOW
i used to think that pissin the bed, couch, chair etc was a bad thing.. i mostly kept it to myself or hid it if i was at a friends house :evil: i guess i kinda got comfortable, or at least accepted that blacking out and ending up finding the random puddle wherever i passed out was just a price ya pay. it still kinda worried me, was I the only one that does this on a semi regular basis? that was until i finally confided with a bud i drank with pretty regular, and especally after i saw this post. It happens to a lot of ppl.. sweet. I've pissed lotsa places.. my couch, someone i barely knows leather couch, a empty box in the livingroom after i first moved into a new apartment..
my favorites are waking up in random places after a good blackout though. One time I woke up the next mornin after a party in somebodys back yard a few houses down from the party, on a sunday am. The guy who lived there was standin over me with his grillin stuff ready to do sunday lunch, kickin me, sayin "uh.. excuse me" and i was curled up on his back porch. i jumped up and took off, only to find out the backyard was fenced in.. so i took back off in the other direction and made it back to my buds house, realized i only had one shoe on. My friend finally asked 2 weeks later if the neighbor had found my shoe around their house and they had
in a tree in their back yard.. fun times.
my favorites are waking up in random places after a good blackout though. One time I woke up the next mornin after a party in somebodys back yard a few houses down from the party, on a sunday am. The guy who lived there was standin over me with his grillin stuff ready to do sunday lunch, kickin me, sayin "uh.. excuse me" and i was curled up on his back porch. i jumped up and took off, only to find out the backyard was fenced in.. so i took back off in the other direction and made it back to my buds house, realized i only had one shoe on. My friend finally asked 2 weeks later if the neighbor had found my shoe around their house and they had
in a tree in their back yard.. fun times.
That is pretty good but Burly wins hands down.
N8 said:
same but we were both naked. i havent drank popov since.jdschall said:
Was she a MILF?lovebunny said:
shes not bad. i was sorta pissed that i was blacked out during the whole encounterDRB said:
indeed.Total Heckler said:
When I was like 13 or 14 I spent the night at a friends house and we proceeded to smoke weed and drink until his mom, her boyfriend and some seahag from the bar came home and then smoked weed and drank with them until everyone passed out or went to bed.
Somewhere in the middle of the night, I came to with said seahag half naked and pissing on the carpet next to the recliner I was asleep in.
When I woke up in the morning (still sort of out of it) I reached out to touch the place where she was squatting thinking it had been a dream but it wasn't...
Somewhere in the middle of the night, I came to with said seahag half naked and pissing on the carpet next to the recliner I was asleep in.
When I woke up in the morning (still sort of out of it) I reached out to touch the place where she was squatting thinking it had been a dream but it wasn't...
this has nothing to do with furniture.
but it's a funny urination tale.
was living and x-c racing in texas at the time.
a friend of mine and i were traveling to a race well before sunrise.
he decided it was time to pull over and relieve himself.
as he was off in the grass just out of the glare of the headlights, he suddenly started jumping around wildly and backed up into the road.
anyone who knows anything about fireants will tell you about their uncanny ability for hundreds to crawl halfway up your leg without you feeling them.
and then their leader will give the signal and will all bite down in unison.
hence his roadside fancy footwork.
the funniest part was, as i was laughing as hard as humanly possible.
another car sees him and pulls over and asks if everythings alright.
all i could say was "fireants" as i was wiping the tears from my eyes.
the guy just looks at us, says "ok" and drives off.
but it's a funny urination tale.
was living and x-c racing in texas at the time.
a friend of mine and i were traveling to a race well before sunrise.
he decided it was time to pull over and relieve himself.
as he was off in the grass just out of the glare of the headlights, he suddenly started jumping around wildly and backed up into the road.
anyone who knows anything about fireants will tell you about their uncanny ability for hundreds to crawl halfway up your leg without you feeling them.
and then their leader will give the signal and will all bite down in unison.
hence his roadside fancy footwork.
the funniest part was, as i was laughing as hard as humanly possible.
another car sees him and pulls over and asks if everythings alright.
all i could say was "fireants" as i was wiping the tears from my eyes.
the guy just looks at us, says "ok" and drives off.
i have multiple friends thatll vouch for the truth of that statement. its not something im particularly proud of so what reason do i have to lie about it? especially on the internetchicodude said:
I feel so left out. I've always have been able to use the facilities. My aim may have been off, but I was in the right room.
I woke up one afternoon after a drunken stupor with my roommate's bedsheet wrapped around me(he was out of town at the time). I couldn't figure out why I grabbed his sheet but it was dry. Then it struck me - the drunken piss thing. I had been in his room to put the sheet back and look for anything else that was missing but this time I took my shoes off to do the piss search. Sure enough at the foot of his bed(which is close to toilet height) I found the wet spot. Then I touched the matress & guess what? I had only one day before he came back so I got the fans out and took careful note at how his sheets looked so I could put it all back. Luckily he never knew what happened.
Now before you get all judegmental and stuff, think about it. What would you do? After all, it's beer piss which doesn't really resemble the same as everyday piss. That, and I don't think he would ever forgive me and the type of waveless waterbed thing he had would have cost a fortune to replace.
O.K. Now my conscience is clean.
Now before you get all judegmental and stuff, think about it. What would you do? After all, it's beer piss which doesn't really resemble the same as everyday piss. That, and I don't think he would ever forgive me and the type of waveless waterbed thing he had would have cost a fortune to replace.
O.K. Now my conscience is clean.
I was in a sauna at a hotel one time when I was a kid, they didn't have bathrooms anywhere in common areas, and you had to go back to your room to go... so I had to go, and the room was 3 floors up, so I pissed on the hot rocks.......the steam almost made me puke.... I bolted out, and as I left a couple who was waiting for me to leave so they could use it went in.... the next morning there was an out of service for cleaning sign scratched on a piece of paper on the thing. I laughed to myself... and wondered if it was me or the couple that caused the clean up note...your story just reminded me of it!OGRipper said:
Ciaran said:
he is an amateur....
lets see, my best piss story...
euro roadtrip home from the 2003 kona launch in germany... small minibus, 4 people - about 15 bikes... on the autobahn and i need to wizzle... let me preface this by saying that my bladder is about 2 times the average size... i can seriously pee for days... so i drop the todger into the 40 oz gatorade bottle... ahhhh relief... so this goes on for minutes and i begin to worry since i m not finished yet and the bottle is almost full... thankfully i manage to finish before the thing overflows... i stop, get dressed and proceed to look for the lid... the lid is gone.... nowhere...
3 drunked louts, one full bottle of urine, speeding down the autobahn... what to do ???
since i didn t fancy holding onto the bottle there was only one choice... drop the bastid on the autobahn... and thats just what i did... the 3 of us were looking out the back window of the bus as i dropped the bottle on the roadway.... it was awesome... it just exploded and i swear three cars (including a nice new bmw) got an awesome piss shower... it was a massive cloud... never laughed so hard....
priceless, every damn post in this thread (best thread of the month I will say) I'm going to go drink now
im glad i sparked some good ole drinking stories this **** is hilarious
It cannot match the other stories here, but my best:
Leaving a party briefly in search of a place to empty myself, I ended up in some tiny apartment garage where three or four other guys were in the process of urinating on various cars / stuff in the garage. I promptly joined them.
Leaving a party briefly in search of a place to empty myself, I ended up in some tiny apartment garage where three or four other guys were in the process of urinating on various cars / stuff in the garage. I promptly joined them.