[Reactor]

This is really starting to P*** me off.

We have several groups of riders who ride together, for most of the last year or so. One of the riders, is always late, even when she is the ride leader. The typical patern is: We wait until 15 or twenty minutes past the ride time or leave time, just as we are about to give up and leave without her, she calls and tells us whe on the way. The excuses vary, cat ate my shoes, didn't have the right type of coffe, forgot my toolkit, my tire spontaneously combusted, Aliens who knew Tom Cruise abducted me, I forgot my light. But it's EVERY RIDE, EVERY SINGLE TIME. It's so bad we started calling it {hername} standard time, which refers to the time 30-60 minutes after we were supposed to start, when she actually shows up.

My wife says she's a passive agressive B****, and she's using it to control everyone. I think she's just inconsiderate, but my time, and the time of the other riders is valuable, and I'm not going to take it anymore.

Does anyone have any thoughts or comments? Am I way off base? Should I be more tolerant?

 

[COmtbiker12]

That sucks man, I hate it when people don't do things when they are supposed to.

Lol, maybe you all should change the time to about 45minutes earlier (or tell her you guys did) so that way she'll be there on time.

 

[.:Jeenyus:.]

Eh...All of my friends and I are always late to rides. It usually works out to us all getting there around the same time though

If it really annoys you, find new riding buddies then. No need to stress over something like that.

 

[Reactor]

Almost everyone else is early. She is the only one consistently late. I like the other riders.

 

[Ciaran]

I am late to everything. But I warn people. And I am NEVER 60 minutes late. That's extremely rude. Me being 15 minutes late everywhere is rude enough but 60 minutes? Dang.

Personally, as someone who is always late no matter how hard I try, I would have to say that you are being more than polite and nice. I would stop inviting her, or tell her the ride is an hour earlier than it really is.

 

[sanjuro]

This is really starting to P*** me off.

We have several groups of riders who ride together, for most of the last year or so. One of the riders, is always late, even when she is the ride leader. The typical patern is: We wait until 15 or twenty minutes past the ride time or leave time, just as we are about to give up and leave without her, she calls and tells us whe on the way. The excuses vary, cat ate my shoes, didn't have the right type of coffe, forgot my toolkit, my tire spontaneously combusted, Aliens who knew Tom Cruise abducted me, I forgot my light. But it's EVERY RIDE, EVERY SINGLE TIME. It's so bad we started calling it {hername} standard time, which refers to the time 30-60 minutes after we were supposed to start, when she actually shows up.

My wife says she's a passive agressive B****, and she's using it to control everyone. I think she's just inconsiderate, but my time, and the time of the other riders is valuable, and I'm not going to take it anymore.

Does anyone have any thoughts or comments? Am I way off base? Should I be more tolerant?

You guys are too nice. I usually leave after 20 minutes. And I am a late comer as well, but I don't leave people waiting for me at the trail head.

Whoever is closest to her should give the warning that no one is going to wait for her anymore. The next time, don't even answer the phone and just leave when you say. There will be hurt feelings, but it is a matter of mutual respect.

I love this story: back in the early 90's, it a late night and I took two of my college buddies (a bunch of wussies) to Blockbluster. They spent 45 minutes debating about renting "The Craft" (remember, teenage witches?). I mentioned a couple of times I needed to go home so I can get some rest, and at 30 minutes, I told them I was leaving without them.

I have always regreted not following thru on my threat. They could have gotten home without my help, and I think they would have learned to respect other people.

 

[PonySoldier]

Generally speaking if I make plans for rides, hunting, hiking etc...and you, the other party, are late I will have started the activity without you..and I expect the same from them if I am late. It Fookin' Rude.

 

[splat]

Leave them behind! either that or tell them the ride starts an hour earlier than it does.

 

[robdamanii]

If she can make it to work on time, she can make it to ride on time. People are counting on her in both situations. If she shows she can't take it, she should be proverbially fired.

 

[Reactor]

So this is pretty much along my line of thought. I think next time I'm going to just leave the trailhead with anyone who wants to start riding, and let her and the others catch up.

 

[splat]

So this is pretty much along my line of thought. I think next time I'm going to just leave the trailhead with anyone who wants to start riding, and let her and the others catch up.

Bingo!!!

 

[DRB]

If I'm leading a ride the time of the ride is the time I leave. If I'm going on a ride, the time of the ride is the time I leave. Folks figure it out pretty well from there.

 

[frznnomad]

there ya go. just leave her and maybee after the third or fourth time that she is left with no one to ride with then maybee she will be on time. im chill and everything but enough is enough man. 5 to 10 mins is acceptable no one is perfect but when its 30 for 60 mins late everytime leave her ass thats all there is to it

 

[BMXman]

yeah I'm cool with about +15 minutes after that better pedal fast.....when it gets to be 30+ minutes though it's time to talk to said rider in front of all the other riders and let he/she know how you feel....D

 

[riderx]

Holy crap, you guys wait 20 min before you even hear from her and then wait some more for her to show up? You are enabling her. She is bascally telling everyone else she is more important than them. eff that. We have riders like that and they get left behind.

Turn off your phones and start the ride on time. After a few times she'll either start showing up on time or she won't show up at all. Either way, problem solved. Think of all of the extra riding you could be getting in if you didn't play this game.

 

[Skookum]

yeah I'm cool with about +15 minutes after that better pedal fast.....when it gets to be 30+ minutes though it's time to talk to said rider in front of all the other riders and let he/she know how you feel....D

again i have to agree with BMXman....

Bout a month ago i was running late for a ride. Rolled in to the meet place 15 minutes late and the guy had bailed. Never rode with the guy before and doubt i'll ever really try to again. i think that's the other side of the spectrum. If you can't wait for 15 frikkin minutes you need to get over yourself and your precious time. It's not like armegeddon is around the corner.

Alot of it depends on where the ride is so on and so forth. To me the most important aspect of coordinating a ride is to get everybody together and to the trailhead. Sometimes that's hard so it takes time, since everybodys not marching to the same beat.

but it sounds like a pattern with the girl so this is kind of different. i'd suggest next time giving her a start time of an hour early, then just play it off like you gave her the wrong time. haha.

 

[Reactor]

again i have to agree with BMXman....


but it sounds like a pattern with the girl so this is kind of different. i'd suggest next time giving her a start time of an hour early, then just play it off like you gave her the wrong time. haha.

Believe it or not, we have discussed doing just that.

 

[binary visions]

For the particular situation of riding and her being late every time, I'd do as most others have suggested: leave her ass there. That leaves it up to her: either she can confront you/the group about it, and you can all tell her that she's being rude, or she can slink away with the knowledge that it was her fault - which might either stop her riding with you or stop her showing up late.

I've got a couple friends who are consistantly late to everything and when I tell them to be somewhere, I usually tell them to be there 15 minutes before they should be. That way, they're on time or only a few minutes late

 

[GumbaFish]

go to her house and change all of her clocks...nah just leave her behind. If that happened to me on a consistent basis I'd leave her behind in a heartbeat. I cant say I've ever had to deal with that as I ride alone 99.9% of the time.

 

[Rip]

OR be like I was the few times when leaving a bit late to Mass, drive like a bat out of hell.

 

[binary visions]

Alternately, you could sneak into her house late at night while she's sleeping, slip into her bedroom, press a knife up against her throat and whisper, "If you're late for another ride, you won't wake up the next morning."

 

[robdamanii]

Alternately, you could sneak into her house late at night while she's sleeping, slip into her bedroom, press a knife up against her throat and whisper, "If you're late for another ride, you won't wake up the next morning."

Disclaimer: The above solution may borderline on "stalking".

 

[TN]

I think your wife is right. Late people are one of my big pet-peeves.

My brother & Mom are always late...ALWAYS. That whole side of the family is never on-time. If you know their timetable you can usually predict when they will be there. For instance...."meet at the restaurant @ 6 really means 6:30, but that is just to meet & gather & wait for the other late comers to arrive. So actually 45 minutes late is on time & if you get there on time, you will be the only one there.

 

[biggins]

So this is pretty much along my line of thought. I think next time I'm going to just leave the trailhead with anyone who wants to start riding, and let her and the others catch up.

the thing is however that you are going to have to convince the others to leave as well. is everyone getting frustrated with her or just you?

i know a few people that aare always late to everything except work and if i am inthe car with them or with them when they are getting ready to leave it usually goe something like this:

biggins: "dude, you are gonna be late if you keep dicking around
other person: " thats OK they will wait. They always do.
bigginsome of these people have only a little time in which to squeeze a ride in"
other person:well then they shouldnt wait. But i am late all the time and they always wait for me.


if everyone is down with leaving her then wait no more than 15 minutes and leave. being consistantly late and then calling to tell you how late she is gonna be is not acceptable. She needs to learn a lesson about how planned/scheduled rides go.

 

[biggins]

is this girl hot by the way?

 

[hooples3]

sometimes you just have to set new rules and be clear about them. such as: the group will wait 20 minutes fronm the desired start time. whoever is there leaves for the ride.. if your late your riding solo. If you stick to that rule with no exceptions you will be surprised at how punctual people become

 

[TreeSaw]

So this is pretty much along my line of thought. I think next time I'm going to just leave the trailhead with anyone who wants to start riding, and let her and the others catch up.

Sounds like a good idea to me! We generally wait 15 minutes and if you aren't there then you gotta catch up!

Edit: Up-ing the ride time might not be a bad idea either...my brother-in-law used to always be late to things so one year, we told him that Thanksgiving dinner was going to be at 2pm and we really had planned on it being at 3pm...he was there on time (about 5 minutes before 2pm) and ended up having to help set the table

 

[Reactor]

the thing is however that you are going to have to convince the others to leave as well. is everyone getting frustrated with her or just you?

i know a few people that aare always late to everything except work and if i am inthe car with them or with them when they are getting ready to leave it usually goe something like this:

biggins: "dude, you are gonna be late if you keep dicking around
other person: " thats OK they will wait. They always do.
bigginsome of these people have only a little time in which to squeeze a ride in"
other person:well then they shouldnt wait. But i am late all the time and they always wait for me.


if everyone is down with leaving her then wait no more than 15 minutes and leave. being consistantly late and then calling to tell you how late she is gonna be is not acceptable. She needs to learn a lesson about how planned/scheduled rides go.

People range from mildly upset (other people who are frequently late) to getting borderline hostile. One person refuses to come to rides that she plans on showing up for.

 

[Reactor]

is this girl hot by the way?

Not really, the body is O.K., the personality is not. And for me personality is by far the more important.

 

[Reactor]

Sounds like a good idea to me! We generally wait 15 minutes and if you aren't there then you gotta catch up!

Edit: Up-ing the ride time might not be a bad idea either...my brother-in-law used to always be late to things so one year, we told him that Thanksgiving dinner was going to be at 2pm and we really had planned on it being at 3pm...he was there on time (about 5 minutes before 2pm) and ended up having to help set the table

We're a pretty easy going group, so it's taken a while for it to get to this point. One other thing I forgot to mention. The one time she showed up on time, she left the trailhead at the designated ride time without waiting for a guy who was caught in traffic, and going to be about 15 minutes late. This particular guy is almost always on time and has waited for her everytime.

 

[sanjuro]

We're a pretty easy going group, so it's taken a while for it to get to this point. One other thing I forgot to mention. The one time she showed up on time, she left the trailhead at the designated ride time without waiting for a guy who was caught in traffic, and going to be about 15 minutes late. This particular guy is almost always on time and has waited for her everytime.

This isn't your brother who shows up late to Sunday dinner. This sounds like a casual acquaintance who doesn't seem to have much respect for other people.

I think telling someone to show up a hour early is being unecessarily dishonest. I think leaving on time will be message enough. Just following through and being tough when the complaints start is the hard part.

 

[Echo]

Dude just tell her the ride starts a half hour earlier than you tell everyone else. It works, I've known people like that.

 

[Echo]

is this girl hot by the way?

That was gonna be my next question

 

[splat]

One other thing I forgot to mention. The one time she showed up on time, she left the trailhead at the designated ride time without waiting for a guy who was caught in traffic, and going to be about 15 minutes late. This particular guy is almost always on time and has waited for her everytime.

If those are the rules she is going to play by , Most definatly leave her behind!

 

[BillT]

If you aren't willing to call her out on it, I'm sure if you left her e-mail address here she would get plenty of e-mails telling her to get her ass to the rides on time or she'll be left.

 

[ridetoofast]

just leave without her, after a couple of rides she'll get the message. if not she aint worth riding with plain and simple.

 

[mobius]

every time i used to ride XC with a bunch of friends we'd schedule 30 mins early and apply the 15 min rule.

 

[Westy]

I have a friend who is constantly late. What really gets me going is whenever he shows up his bike is not in a rideable condition. Chain needs lubing, brakes and shifters need ajusting, tires are flat, etc. The icing on the cake is after every ride he spends hours cleaning and polishing his bike but never does the maintenance to make it rideable so he shows up to ride with a very pretty turd.

 

[SkaredShtles]

<snip>
<snip> If you can't wait for 15 frikkin minutes you need to get over yourself and your precious time. It's not like armegeddon is around the corner.

I'd say 10 minutes is the threshold for me.

And it isn't Armageddon - it's 3 liddle boys and a wife that are around the corner. Ride time is *VERY* precious to me.

 

[DRB]

I'd say 10 minutes is the threshold for me.

And it isn't Armageddon - it's 3 liddle boys and a wife that are around the corner. Ride time is *VERY* precious to me.

Yep. I used to be a lot more forgiving with beginning a ride. Now I'm trying to beat bed time and get my "DADDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE." when I hit the back door.