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Play Redneck Games, Win Redneck Prizes.

Jm_

sled dog's bollocks
Jan 14, 2002
18,853
9,557
AK
The last significant redneck thing I experienced was racing my car at Tanacross, an old abandoned military airfield.

I kept hearing at AutoX from a few people how I "had to take my car to Tanacross to open it up" and such.

It's a semi-annual event hosted by the Lyons Club (not sure how that all fits together though) and it's like $300 and a little more to race.

So I figure to make the trek during the spring. Bring my tent, some other stuff to cook with and spend the weekend. They said "everyone camps".

Well, "everyone camps" means that they have 50 foot RVs and brought 50cc motorbikes and scooters to ride around during all hours of the night, right where everyone is "camping". Add to that no-one from AutoX is there. The "track" hasn't been repaved in...what looks like 50 years. It's seriously screwed up and sure, you assume some risk when tracking a car for mistakes and other unintentional stuff, but this was more like "it WILL break your car, it's just a matter of time". Guy in a car a few years older than mine broke an A-arm the last time. They try to get all the able bodied men to "set up the course" and like AutoX, you "work the course" while not racing...except they didn't take safety seriously, it was a joke, they didn't really give a shit about the course and movement of cones/turns, then you have to work a bunch of events that you aren't racing, like a few classes of built-cars, then the do a drift race...and another drift race. They tried to say "once you're here, you are here for the 3-day weekend". Fuck that, I left after two days, I ain't staying around to work that crap track for crap runs with crap safety. Oh yeah, it's like a good full day of driving just to get there. I had a lot more fun driving to/from and would never go back. I don't want to break my car. I don't want to mix with all those asshats running generators and drinking beer on 50ccs at 2am, I don't want to be hit by a car while working a corner. There's a lot more that was distasteful, but mainly it was a giant redneck party, not a race. These people had money for sure, to be able to tow a car out on a trailer with an F350 or behind a 50 foot motorcoach, etc., but 100% redneck.
 

Jm_

sled dog's bollocks
Jan 14, 2002
18,853
9,557
AK
real rednecks would have already raced it out on modified lawnmowers, not argue about it on the internet with properly spelled words and correct sentence structure.


noob
Seem my post above.

Yes, there were modified lawnmowers there.
 

junkyard

You might feel a little prick.
Sep 1, 2015
2,601
2,303
San Diego
I’m curious, what if a redneck makes an absolute fortune selling kkk merchandise and becomes rich. Is he still a redneck? Or does he grow into some other piece of shit?
 

rideit

Bob the Builder
Aug 24, 2004
23,059
11,300
In the cleavage of the Tetons
that's something different than what rideit thinks it is




Rideit thinks you buy redneck toys. Redneck toys are created out of poverty and desperation, dictating creativity and experimentation with available scarce raw materials.
No, i think rednecks 'find' parts in the woods in order to build new toys.
 

kidwoo

Artisanal Tweet Curator
No, i think rednecks 'find' parts in the woods in order to build new toys.
But he just tried stealing and extortion, not building.


Theoretical redneck question: if I steal a jetski on the beach using the dinghy from my yacht, hoist the jetski onto said yacht and then try and sell it to my yacht buddies.......is that redneck?

What if it happens in the Mediterranean?
 

boostindoubles

Nacho Libre
Mar 16, 2004
7,839
6,145
Yakistan
WTF?? :rofl:


how that end?
Boringly - fire fighters an LP guy watched it until it finished venting off. They had to get a weed burner underneath it to heat the remaining liquid so it'd vent off faster.

Shed nearby had been redneck wired combined with leaky bbq tank. Fireball caught other leaky tanks on fire.
 

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
85,570
24,185
media blackout
that's something different than what rideit thinks it is




Rideit thinks you buy redneck toys. Redneck toys are created out of poverty and desperation, dictating creativity and experimentation with available scarce raw materials.
I Maine I once saw a VW bus that was lifted with 4' tractor tires and an outboard motor
 

rideit

Bob the Builder
Aug 24, 2004
23,059
11,300
In the cleavage of the Tetons
But he just tried stealing and extortion, not building.


Theoretical redneck question: if I steal a jetski on the beach using the dinghy from my yacht, hoist the jetski onto said yacht and then try and sell it to my yacht buddies.......is that redneck?

What if it happens in the Mediterranean?
Depends…but my gut says yes, if it was done by someone familiar with multiple paternity lawsuits by age 25.
its definitely a grey area, it could be mafia guidos, Moldovan punks, yabbos, and what have you. Maybe not redneck, but definitely trash?
But then again, the Jet Ski is probably trash, too.
Such a philosophical connundrum!
Boy, you got me!
 

kidwoo

Artisanal Tweet Curator
Depends…but my gut says yes, if it was done by someone familiar with multiple paternity lawsuits by age 25.
its definitely a grey area, it could be mafia guidos, Moldovan punks, yabbos, and what have you. Maybe not redneck, but definitely trash?
But then again, the Jet Ski is probably trash, too.
Such a philosophical connundrum!
Boy, you got me!
trick question

rednecks can't afford yachts, they build homemade pontoon boats out of 50 gallon drums. the jetski was a distraction. A redneck would have thrown the anchor (old engine block) at the jetski and pulled it over with a rope, not a used a dinghy
 
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