[AngryMetalsmith]

I was recently diagnosed with Gout. For those of you unfamiliar with this particularly ugly disease, it is an intense, painful form of arthritis that is brought on by several things, one of those being excessive beer consumption. It causes painful attacks by forming uric acid crystals in the joints. My first major flare up was last summer and I could barely walk. I ended up at the doctors office in a wheel chair. It is without a doubt the worst pain I have ever felt. It makes a dislocated shoulder feel like a paper cut. After many months of seeing multiple doctors and specialists it's official, I have an old man's disease. I was 39 years old when I developed it.

This is something that I have to live with and there is no cure, only treatment. Although it won't kill me, It can rob me of my mobility and cause permanent damage to my joints. It has been a struggle to say the least. I have had to make some serious lifestyle changes.

On July 24, 2008, I drank my last beer. I have been a daily drinker for close to twenty years. Having Gout is like being given the choice between walking and drinking. I chose walking. I have not had a drop of alcohol in 8.5 months. And yet have had 5 flare-ups since. The last one lasted 3.5 weeks and felt like I had broken glass underneath my knee cap. Needless to say I have not been able to ride much.

I quit drinking cold turkey and have done it without rehab or counciling. I found fear to be highly motivating. If I drink, I won't be able to walk.

For the most part I have just hid out in my studio not knowing what to do with myself socially. Last Saturday I went to a break dance competition because I knew there was going to be a woman, whom I'm interested in, there. And of course there were people drinking beer. That part doesn't bother me so much as I'm still a drunk at heart and hold no ill will towards those who choose to imbibe.

However, I felt very uncomfortable being there without a beer in my hand and the social crutch of alcohol. I just don't know how to go out and be social without drinking. I have absolutely no idea.

My question is, how do I do this without drinking ? I spoke to a friend last night who has been going to AA for many years and he suggested that I attend a meeting and that it could help with the whole living without booze thing. I have some reservations because or the religious overtones to AA. Do they talk up the God thing as much as I fear they do or will I be able acquire the tools necessary to cope with aftermath of putting down the bottle ?

Some insight from other non-drinking AA Monkeys would be appreciated. Please keep in mind that I do not want to turn this into a religious discussion.

- Thanks

 

[sanjuro]

That's a tough one.

I frequently skip drinking when I am not feeling up to it. Those nights, I usually leave early because my boredom level gets too high.

I wonder if you feel a certain social anxiety when you are sober. If so, maybe practicing chatting to strangers like at a coffee house might be helpful.

 

[?????]

Just get a coke from the bar or wherever. You'll get the same sensation of having something to hold and sip on... and after your friends drink a few, then you can start acting like a retard and they won't even notice.

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

That's a tough one.

I frequently skip drinking when I am not feeling up to it. Those nights, I usually leave early because my boredom level gets too high.

I wonder if you feel a certain social anxiety when you are sober. If so, maybe practicing chatting to strangers like at a coffee house might be helpful.

I have to interact socially for work. Making small talk with random visitors to my studio is no problem. I'm actually quite good at it.

The problem is when I want to go out and do something entertaining that does not involve my natural environment. I am just fine when it involves the arts and my career, but other social events make me uncomfortable with out being able to drink and loosen up a bit.

 

[?????]

Find the artsy girls...err... women.

 

[S.n.a.k.e.]

AMS,

I'll probably get flamed for this advice, but I know a few people who cope in this manner. When out at a bar they order something that looks like an alcoholic beverage. Ginger ale looks like a whiskey drink, tonic water can pass as several drinks. Make a deal with the bartender to dress them up like their counterparts and you can 'drink'.

If this isnt your 'cup of grog' then play it straight up. If a person cannot understand someone who wants to enjoy the social aspect of a bar yet not drink alcohol then maybe it's they who has the problem, not you.

By all means seek the AA solution as it seems to work in many cases, but everyones mileage varies, you know...

I used to tour with a guy who had gout, but chose the other path from you... Lets just say that some days/weeks were better than others and some shows he sat down and played...

Peace,
Marc

 

[DirtMcGirk]

I haven't had a drink in 116 days. I can still go to bars, all of those places, shows, that sort of deal, but I find that my tolerance for people isn't what it once was when I drank.

I've been going to meetings since day two. They are kind of a double edged thing for me.

I remember at the first meeting I went to there was this guy who had just gotten out of jail sitting next to me, etching some sort of a design into his styrafoam coffee cup with his coke nail. One of the few things in this life that drive me right to the edge is the sound, or touch, of styrofoam. Drives me absolutely bat ****. This almost put me off of going ever again.

I started going to other meetings, finally found what they call a "home meeting." I just clicked with the madness in the room and the group, and I do my best to make that meeting every Friday night. Its not an absolute adherence, but I try as hard as I can if I am in town.

The meetings help. Your reason to not drink is much more powerful than mine. I knew I was going to end up dead or in a wheelchair if I didn't stop, but that was going to be a brief moment of pain sort of thing, not a long term debilitation.

PM me if you want to get into a long chat about this.

My advice is find a meeting with people you like who are somewhat like you. If you can't associate on a life basis with the people there, then you won't stick to it. I work better on my own, so I have skipped the sponsor route, but if you like to have someone to bounce things off of, get one, they help too.

Drop me a line, we can babble all day if you want.

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

My advice is find a meeting with people you like who are somewhat like you. If you can't associate on a life basis with the people there, then you won't stick to it.

Now that's the kind of feedback I'm lookin for. Thanks Man !

 

[manimal]

i don't drink, never really have (can't handle the taste of beer) but i've never really felt awkward at a party/club/bar because i don't partake. i suppose this isn't very good advice because you're looking for people who've "been there" but i can offer you this. your perception of you at a party/club/bar is just that, it's YOUR perception of YOU, no one else really cares whether you have a drink in your hand or not. i have turned down numerous drinks at parties and no one has ever (at least to my face) claimed to feel awkward or made me feel awkward about it.

besides, you're went to a breakdance comp right? so now you can at least try a new skill

 

[DirtyMike]

A really easy way to go and socialize at the bars, and not feel out of place by not drinking...... Be the DD. If your the designated Driver, then you will have the feeling of responsibility as to why your not drinking.

 

[Silver]

your perception of you at a party/club/bar is just that, it's YOUR perception of YOU, no one else really cares whether you have a drink in your hand or not.

Yep. The only people that pay attention to what everyone else is drinking (past the chit chat of "What are you drinking?" are alcoholics.

 

[Silver]

Some insight from other non-drinking AA Monkeys would be appreciated. Please keep in mind that I do not want to turn this into a religious discussion.

- Thanks

Not in AA, but familiar with it.

It depends on the specific group. If you go to a meeting that has religious overtones you don't like, try another one. California has so many various religious nuts that it isn't easy for Jesus freaks to take over a meeting without pissing off the Buddists and Jews and atheists...

 

[DirtMcGirk]

Might I encourage, if its possible in your area, to start hitting the full nude strip clubs that don't allow booze. You'd be amazed how much fun you can have at those being a sober asshole. I advise critiquing the plastic surgery disasters inherent. Its fun!

 

[Damo]

There are other drinks besides alcoholic bevies you know. Get a glass of coke, lemonade, whatever in your hand. It does make a difference just having a drink in your hand.

If you feel like the social leper, or don't want to draw attention to your non-drinking ways because it doesn't look alcoholic, then get it in a plain glass. Or mix apple juice & lemonade - it looks exactly like beer.

Good on you for making a change for the better. I do drink, but I don't need to drink. I'm quite happy being the sober driver most evenings...

 

[sanjuro]

I don't always enjoy chatting with people outside of bicycling. I know a lot of them are dumasses.

I really liked talking with people in New Orleans, but most people were friendly drunks. In SF, I see some bad attitudes.

 

[BIGHITR]

Quitting drinking can be hard when everyone else is standing around with a beer in their hand. Wanting to fit in and have fun with all the other people seeming to have fun while under the influence can be as easy as some water, potting soil, a grow light, and some ganja seeds. Wait four months, and next time one of those events comes up, you walk in WAY ahead of everyone else. But don't do too much, or you might be confusing people by walking around spouting off what they think is Shakespear with you saying stuff like,
"Poor uric, poor uric, my poor uric acid crystals..."

On a serious note, I quit cold turkey for a year. I just bought ice water with a lime. Everyone thought I was drinking gin and tonic. No one noticed. Funny thing was, in about 3 months, I found something very unusual that I never noticed. While I was drinking, I couldn't see my friends getting drunk because I was too, their demeanor looked normal unless they got trashed. But in just three months, I noticed that I could see my friends going from straight around 10pm when they'd walk into the club, and by 11pm I could see them physically getting drunk and in most cases by 12pm, mostly stupid. While under the influence I never noticed. But while straight, I realized how stupid some of them looked. I almost didn't want to be around them when they got like that. I really enjoyed being straight for the year. I also found it very easy it to spot a hot chick that was drinking and found it a lot easier meet her when I was straight. My wit was a lot better and I was more successful closing the deal than when I was loaded and obnoxious. When you're drinking, you really don't know you when you're becoming loud and obnoxious so being straight at any event where people are drinking is pretty smart. And next time you get pulled over late, you can actually stall while your drunk friends drive by and make it home. :biggrin:

But I will think of you tomorrow on Saint Patricks Day. I put in for the day off to enjoy my Irish heritage. With a few pints of Guinness of course. And maybe a Heineken Premium or two. And you GOTTA have at least ONE green draft on St. Patty's day! Got my beads ready!

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!!! :beerjam:

 

[jimmydean]

I have spent many a night as DD and sucked on free coffee. I find it helped my game with the ladies, too. (see post about embarrassing over drinking in the past).

 

[stoney]

I rarely drink when we go out. I just prefer not to. I always just get a water/soda water/tonic or a redbull, and nobody says anything. Any of the prior in a glass look like the mixed drink so there is no questions about lame factor. If anyone asks, just tell them you are the most unfortunate soul in the world because you are allergic to alcohol... but that you will buy her a drink to commiserate. That's a winner.

 

[BIGHITR]

I have spent many a night as DD and sucked on free coffee. I find it helped my game with the ladies, too. (see post about embarrassing over drinking in the past).

Yes I agree "on a serious note" about the subject. I'm just joking around above. I have a buddy with it. When I quit drinking, my friends all started giving me gas money and saying, "Let him be the designated driver!" They'd get all loaded and wild and obnoxious and introduce hot girls to me and stuff like that, buy me breakfast on the way home, all kinds of stuff. Just gotta quit drinking if you got it. If I found out I was going to die if I didn't quit, I'd quit tonight. And if you are into it, there is pot, and there is just being straight.

 

[eric strt6]

ok sober since 1981

for the taste of it without getting drunk and fitting in in social situations [hey I'm the designated driver will get you comped by the bartender a lot of the time]

drinks Non alcoholic beers 1/2 of one percent alcohiol which is what you get when you put a carbohydrate in water = same as a glass of OJ

faves+ Bitburger Drive for a bitter ale, Kalibur by Guiness, St Pauli NA, Becks Non Alcoholic, FYI most bars and restaurants carry St Pauli non alcoholic

dealcoholized wines, Sutter Home makes the best


Oh and the whole AA thing sucks monkey balls

 

[ire]

ok sober since 1981

for the taste of it without getting drunk and fitting in in social situations [hey I'm the designated driver will get you comped by the bartender a lot of the time]

drinks Non alcoholic beers 1/2 of one percent alcohiol which is what you get when you put a carbohydrate in water = same as a glass of OJ

faves+ Bitburger Drive for a bitter ale, Kalibur by Guiness, St Pauli NA, Becks Non Alcoholic, FYI most bars and restaurants carry St Pauli non alcoholic

dealcoholized wines, Sutter Home makes the best


Oh and the whole AA thing sucks monkey balls

You've been sober as long as I've been alive I spent 4 years drinking myself under the table pretty much every night and quit in Sep. '07. I did one on one counseling to help me deal with it and talk through some issues....I think it helped. As for the social scene, I stay away from events that are focused mostly on drinking and I don't drink any non-alcoholic drink substitutes....I figure drinking near beer is just tempting myself back into that life. For better or worse you may need to find new friends/scene

 

[Arkayne]

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

ok sober since 1981

for the taste of it without getting drunk and fitting in in social situations [hey I'm the designated driver will get you comped by the bartender a lot of the time]

drinks Non alcoholic beers 1/2 of one percent alcohiol which is what you get when you put a carbohydrate in water = same as a glass of OJ

faves+ Bitburger Drive for a bitter ale, Kalibur by Guiness, St Pauli NA, Becks Non Alcoholic, FYI most bars and restaurants carry St Pauli non alcoholic

dealcoholized wines, Sutter Home makes the best


Oh and the whole AA thing sucks monkey balls

All beer is out, even non-alcoholic, because brewers yeast in addition to alcohol causes gout flare-ups.


And why does AA suck ? I'm curious.

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

You've been sober as long as I've been alive I spent 4 years drinking myself under the table pretty much every night and quit in Sep. '07. I did one on one counseling to help me deal with it and talk through some issues....I think it helped. As for the social scene, I stay away from events that are focused mostly on drinking and I don't drink any non-alcoholic drink substitutes....I figure drinking near beer is just tempting myself back into that life. For better or worse you may need to find new friends/scene

Yup, that too is what I'm thinking.

What is there to do for fun that doesn't involve drinking ?

 

[eric strt6]

You've been sober as long as I've been alive I spent 4 years drinking myself under the table pretty much every night and quit in Sep. '07. I did one on one counseling to help me deal with it and talk through some issues....I think it helped. As for the social scene, I stay away from events that are focused mostly on drinking and I don't drink any non-alcoholic drink substitutes....I figure drinking near beer is just tempting myself back into that life. For better or worse you may need to find new friends/scene

Mom always told me I could do anything that I really wanted to do if I put my mind to it.

One day I snapped out of a binge that started in 1974 [yep high school] and I decided that I wanted to see my next birthday and that I wasn't going to let some liquid in a bottle rule my life. I looked in a mirror and saw a loser, a drunk, an alcoholic. I decided right then and there that I was going to stand on my own two feet and face life rather that avoid dealing with my problems by hiding in a bottle. I went through a week of the DT's: puking, the shakes the sweats. Everytime I did anything the first thought that popped into my mind was hey this is a good time for a beer, immediately followed by me yelling NO at myself. I knew within a few weeks that I was going to be standing on my own free of the demon in the bottle. I used to count the days, then it became the months, and the years. now the anniversary date slips by and I don't even remeber it. But I still have the courage to say nope, right now I am not going to drink. thats been my mantra since minute one and it will be for the rest of my life

 

[Da Peach]

As illegal as it is, I guess you could smoke weed if you really needed inspiration to chat...

 

[eric strt6]

AA sucks

why

because it is a crutch, you don't face yourself, you don't accept the fact that the only person that can make you sober is you. It's not putting your faith in a higher power. It is about believing in yourself and the reality that no one else really gives a **** . they are not going to sacrifice themselves for you. You have to really look deep inside yourself at all the dark nasty **** and accept that you let it get in there. The key is to be willing to endure the pain of facing yourself and making yourself toss all that bad crap to the curb and restarting your life from square one. I had to learn to like myself, to take responsibility for all my actions, to acknowlege that is all my doing and not fall for "it's gods will" or someone else made me do it, or I couldn't help it...all bull**** excuses

 

[DirtMcGirk]

AA sucks

why

because it is a crutch, you don't face yourself, you don't accept the fact that the only person that can make you sober is you. It's not putting your faith in a higher power. It is about believing in yourself and the reality that noe one else really gives a **** . they are not going to sacrifice themselves for you. You have to really look deep inside yourself at all the dark nasty **** and accept that you let it get in there. The kepy is to be willing to endure the pain of facing yourself and making yorself toss all that bad crap to the curb and restarting your life from square one. I had to learn to like myself, to take responsibility for all my actions, to acknowlege that is all my doing and not fall for "it's gods will" or someone else made me do it, or I couldn't help it...all bull**** excuses

You and I don't agree on a hell of a lot, but goddamn if you didn't knock that out of the park.

Its a good stepping stone, but its not forever. Get started on the path, but the only person who can hold you up is you.

Genius.

 

[ire]

Yup, that too is what I'm thinking.

What is there to do for fun that doesn't involve drinking ?

A hell of a lot of stuff...I was racing CX/XC towards the end of my binge so I threw myself into that. I guess its a change in values...I value being productive and aware, and being around people who are the same. I don't like being around a bunch of drunk people. You could volunteer, hit up the local book stores, relax in the park (prolly not this time of year). I know your condition is going to limit your physical activity so that leaves out a lot of what I threw myself into. If all else fails you could turn into a hardcore gamer

 

[Skookum]

Oh and the whole AA thing sucks monkey balls

It sucks monkey balls for you specifically.

To me it's like anything else, AA works for lots of people, so it's pretty dumb to just discount it totally.

But yah i'm not going to completely sell people that they should go either, that's for each person to find out...

I quit drinking cold turkey and have done it without rehab or counciling. I found fear to be highly motivating. If I drink, I won't be able to walk.

Whatever get's you there, the likelihood that you have character flaws from being a regular drinker is probable, and counseling could help those if you want to better yourself.

For the most part I have just hid out in my studio not knowing what to do with myself socially. Last Saturday I went to a break dance competition because I knew there was going to be a woman, whom I'm interested in, there. And of course there were people drinking beer. That part doesn't bother me so much as I'm still a drunk at heart and hold no ill will towards those who choose to imbibe.

i don't think anyone who walks away from an addictive lifestyle hold ill will towards people who choose to imbibe. But most of us move beyond that whole mindset. We have learned to have fun and move beyond the old mindset that is currently comfortable to you.

Change is hard regardless, you are stuck in the old ways, and it's scary to learn how to do new fun things.

However, I felt very uncomfortable being there without a beer in my hand and the social crutch of alcohol. I just don't know how to go out and be social without drinking. I have absolutely no idea.

Case in point. Which is why people generally discourage drinkers from hanging out in bars. How are you going to learn how to have fun by doing the same old thing, eventually you'll just give up and knock down some, tell me the thought hasn't crossed in the back of your mind that this wouldn't be a simple solution.

Not to say you have to avoid bars the rest of your life, but until you get right within yourself. Learn who you are in your sobriety, you're not going to be very happy and you're cheating your sobriety really.

You are still the old you in a sober body.

My question is, how do I do this without drinking ? I spoke to a friend last night who has been going to AA for many years and he suggested that I attend a meeting and that it could help with the whole living without booze thing. I have some reservations because or the religious overtones to AA. Do they talk up the God thing as much as I fear they do or will I be able acquire the tools necessary to cope with aftermath of putting down the bottle ?

The one thing AA could provide is discussion with other people who have similar stories, and ask them what they do for fun.

The thing about AA is they are not only a group of sober people. They also have a formula called the 12 steps that help people transform in their sobriety.

Is this the only way or is this the only avenue for change like this? No.

i'm a firm believer that people have to find their own path, but AA is open-ended enough that lot's of people have success with it. Same can be said for churches, and for treatment, and for counseling.

Some insight from other non-drinking AA Monkeys would be appreciated. Please keep in mind that I do not want to turn this into a religious discussion.

i rarely go to meeting anymore, did with regularity for a spell. There are numerous meetings, if you really like the idea of AA but don't want too much God or spirituality each meeting place has it's own kind of vibe.

The one thing i think AA could help you with at least is to extend your social network outside the drinking crowd. The other thing to consider is you are new to sobriety, so with this a bunch of new opportunities are there for you. It's hard and ackward at first, but life get's alot better as you will find other people and other things to do in life. And you learn how to generate fun and good time from within yourself, and not need something like a drink or drug in order to have a good time.

i would just recommend expanding the horizons a bit, the answers you can find, but as in everything in life you gotta work for something for it to be good.

 

[RUFUS]

AA sucks

why

because it is a crutch, you don't face yourself, you don't accept the fact that the only person that can make you sober is you. It's not putting your faith in a higher power. It is about believing in yourself and the reality that no one else really gives a **** . they are not going to sacrifice themselves for you. You have to really look deep inside yourself at all the dark nasty **** and accept that you let it get in there. The key is to be willing to endure the pain of facing yourself and making yourself toss all that bad crap to the curb and restarting your life from square one. I had to learn to like myself, to take responsibility for all my actions, to acknowlege that is all my doing and not fall for "it's gods will" or someone else made me do it, or I couldn't help it...all bull**** excuses

If more people followed this, the world would be an incredible place to live. I can't rep you anymore until I spread it around, damn.

It's too easy to blame someone else than to man the f*** up and realize that there is no higher power, fate, divine blah blah. You live with the choices that you make, good and bad and you should square your life away for yourself and not to impress or please someone else.

I applaud your decision, stay the course man. Alcohol is nothing but a crutch and now that you are sober you will finally see it.

Stay away from the drugs too, seriously.

 

[eric strt6]

If more people followed this, the world would be an incredible place to live. I can't rep you anymore until I spread it around, damn.

It's too easy to blame someone else than to man the f*** up and realize that there is no higher power, fate, divine blah blah. You live with the choices that you make, good and bad and you should square your life away for yourself and not to impress or please someone else.

I applaud your decision, stay the course man. Alcohol is nothing but a crutch and now that you are sober you will finally see it.

Stay away from the drugs too, seriously.

sober since 1981, drug free since 1990

but you will have to pry my morning cup of coffee out of my cold dead fingers

 

[BIGHITR]

What is there to do for fun that doesn't involve drinking ?

Suggestion 1

Suggestion 2

I recommend suggestion 2 if I had to chose.

 

[DirtMcGirk]

I dunno man, both suggestion one and suggestion two can kill ya.

 

[worship_mud]

i quit drinking on june 30th 2007. i drank A LOT, in the end there were 6 to 8 half liter empty cans of beer to clean up in the morning. every morning. weekends not counted, because 6 to 8 beers had me just a bit warmed up for the total wipe out that would take place on fridays and saturdays. and total wipe out means something along the line of sleeping on a park bench in winter, because i didn't make it home. i lead this life style for over a decade.

i didn't quit drinking for my baby girl born in January 2006 or my wife. it was a plain choice between life and death.

now my social life has massively changed since then. i don't feel tempted to start binging again, i just can't find a common ground with people who are (too) wasted. i leave early and go to bed, because i go out and ride EVERY GOD DAMNED WEEKEND! i actually have no choice, because riding keeps me sane.
i think you have to live and cope with the fact that it's not the other people that think you are strange because you don't drink (actually they don't care at all, because they are wasted anyway, hehe...). it's YOUR OWN selfawareness that tells you that there has been change. use weed for relaxing on parties and have a laugh at all your drunk buddies when they talk nonsense and save their lives when they want to jump from that 15m high bridge with their DH-bikes....
you can't help it - if you don't drink, you won't find common ground with someone drunk. i stoped worrying about it. if they like you, then they liked you when you passed out in your own vomit in the park and they will still love if you don't drink. it's your own mind frame that makes you feel uncomfortable.

 

[Toshi]

i either drink something non-alcoholic or i bust out the camera.

 

[Quo Fan]

When you stop thinking about what other people are thinking of you, then you have reached a milestone on your path to enlightenment.

Think of this quote:
"Those who care, don't matter. Those who matter, don't care."

These are words to live by. When you stop thinking about what others think of you, then you are truly liberated, and don't need crutches of any sort. You will become a much more empowered person, and be able to handle yourself in any social situation.

I don't drink much, and nobody cares if I do or don't. If they do care, It doesn't bother me because then it is their problem, not mine.

 

[jonKranked]

Just get a coke from the bar or wherever. You'll get the same sensation of having something to hold and sip on... and after your friends drink a few, then you can start acting like a retard and they won't even notice.

you're assuming he has to act




Seriously tho, my advice, keep other people's imaginary friends out your own personal life/health problems.

It sucks that you had to give up one of your favorite things in order to keep a necessary thing, but I think you made the right choice. I'm like you, I love beer and try to have a delicious one every day. If I were put into your position and had to make the same choice, well, bye bye beer.

 

[Westy]

Similar boat. Gots the Psoriatic arthritis, beer doesn't cause the problem but drinking while on my meds will kill me twice as fast as the meds will. I've for the most part avoided situations where I would normally drink but in a few weeks I will be attending a reunion of sorts where all of my college buddies will be drinking it up. I predict the worst part of it will be when a bunch of idiots start giving me a hard time for not drinking. I can see myself getting tired of explaining things and I'll probably start punching people in the throats.

 

[llkoolkeg]

I'm not 100% sober by any means but I can say that I've really, really cut back to a minute level. My secret? A wife & kids. I started drinking in elementary school- no joke- when a fellow Cub Scout used to steal his older brother's liquor and beer and bring it to our campouts and post-meeting hangouts. By jr. high, I drank every weekend and by high school, I kept a backpack in my locker with 2-4 fifths of liquor stashed in it at all times. I started smoking weed in 10th grade, took the SATs for the second time OBLITERATED and by the time I was in college, I grew and smoked daily the ganj, kept a 55# filled nitrous tank in the trunk of my car and had experimented with every hallucinogen known to man. The next 12 years of my life flashed by and although I'm fairly certain that I had a good time gallivanting around the world as a drug tourist catching reggae and metal shows, I eventually realized that I was caught in a state of arrested development. Yeah, I'd graduated college and was working real jobs but I started to notice that all of my best friends were coming into my life, we'd have a lot of fun and then they'd drop back out of my life for whatever reason...got married...got sober...got religion...moved...died.

One night after not scoring with a girl I was particularly interested in, I got really bummed with my life, drank a 750ml of bourbon, ate some shrooms, toked 1/4oz of the kind and ate the last 12 buttons of mescaline in my stash. The rest of the evening was a curious jumble of Christmas lights, throwing darts, CDs on shuffle and strange visions. I know I spent at least part of the night spinning the loaded cylinder of my .44mag and contemplating suicide. By dawn, I found myself weeping like a baby and calling out loud to a God I'd ignored for the better part of my existence. All I asked for was either love and understanding or a sign that there was something MORE to my being here on earth. Within a week, I started a new job and shortly thereafter, my boss's daughter came back from college to work during summer break before her senior year. I fell in love with her by the copier machines and the rest is history.

Now, married and with two daughters, I'm too freaking busy to get drunk or high except on rare occasions. Sure, I'll drink the occasional 12-pack around a campfire or hit off a friend's bowl while taking in a mid-ride vista but I don't ever get out of control anymore. I just don't have the time to deal with a hangover or the desire to spend another evening snoring off my stupor in the county jail. It's lots more fun watching my girls play soccer, roughhousing and imparting upon them my worldly "wisdom". I can't say that I really have any regrets about the way I've lived my life because I DID have a heck of a lot of fun and everything eventually turned out great but I'm sure when I finally find myself on my deathbed, I'll wish I had another 12 years...not the 12 I spent in a haze of partying, concerts and self-indulgence but 12 more to spend with my wife and children.

Perhaps your ailment and newfound sobriety are less a curse than a wake-up call and a blessing in disguise. Get on with living your life outside of places where intoxicants are served and maybe your wheels will find traction and your world progress. In the end, you'll get more out of sharing your love and knowledge than a drink or a smoke anyways. Now...please excuse me so that I can find something dignified yet green to put on so's I can get to my favorite brewpub before the homos with green-striped cat-in-the-hat hats and food-coloring Budweisers show up. The wife and kids will be home from school by 3:30pm and I need to have had my pints and recovered sufficiently to fend off their Nacho Libre attacks launched from the arms of our couches.