[HippieKai]

IRELAND
“Are you magically delicious or just angry and drunk?
This beer is black- did a leprechaun crap in it?”

FRANCE
“Can I get a side of Freedom Fries with that?
Aren’t the French just Germans who can make sauces?”

ITALY
“Is the Pope Polish? Does he have super powers like Jesus?
I could sure go for a can of Spaghetti-O’s! ”

POLAND
“Do you hire foreigners to screw in your lightbulbs?”

GERMANY
“Is this bratwurst kosher?”

TURKEY
“Where’s the hash at?
It’s cool to recreationally slaughter Kurds?”

KOREA
“Can you watch my puppy for a minute, or must you people deep fry him?”

CHINA
“This wall isn’t so great.”

ENGLAND
“Did you ever get a piece of ass from that Diana chick?”

SWEDEN
“Do you have any normal meatballs?
Want to hear a dumb blonde joke?”

YEMEN
“Yemen? That’s a stupid name for a country. What’s it mean -- ‘Land Of Fanatics And Dust' ?”

INDIA
“You don’t live in teepees?
Where can I get a good juicy steak around here?”

ETHIOPIA
“After a long day of travel, I’m famished. Hey – those flies sure love your pregnant son!”

CANADA
“You’re like Americans without money.”

SPAIN
“So, this is the country that’s not Portugal? Wow.
Your women can shave if they want to, right?
Where can I get some Cheez Whiz nachos?”

SOUTH AFRICA
“I liked it better the other way.”

MEXICO
“What's that smell?”

SAUDI ARABIA
“Would you like to see my designs for a solar powered car?
Is it legal to beat your wives here, or what?”

RUSSIA
“Is it always this cold and economically devastated?”

UZBEKISTAN
“Can you spell Uzbekistan?”

GREECE
“I hear this place is a less expensive version of Italy."

AFGHANISTAN
“Seriously, where is the real country… where is everything?”

JAPAN
“What’s Hiroshima? Is that a kind of sushi?”

AUSTRALIA
“How can we stop Mel Gibson? Is there a cure?”

AMERICA
“Was John Wayne gay?”

 

[BurlyShirley]

ETHIOPIA
“After a long day of travel, I’m famished. Hey – those flies sure love your pregnant son!”

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAH!!!1

 

[Dartman]

I ordered a steak in SRI LANKA. How's that for Ugly American?

It was horrible BTW. Go figure.

Mike

 

[mrbigisbudgood]

Germany

"Where can I exchange dollars for Reich Marks?"

 

[MudGrrl]

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
(all of the above)

 

[flatulant_man]

that comment about france, that'll piss em off. the one about being german. they'll smother you to death with croissants and drown you in chocolate moose.

 

[dh girlie]

MEXICO
“What's that smell?”

Oh...my GOD!!! I never said it to any of the Mexicans, but good GOD...it had some pretty rank smelling areas thats for sheezay!

 

[mack]

I got a good story about a buddy who went to Vietnam and ate some dog.

So he wanted to eat some dog, so he went to this one place and then crossed then went to another one across the street the nezt day and ate at another dog restaurant. The 2nd one was much better, but he couldnt tell why. So he asked this dude who spoke Vietanemese (sp?) and he said that the first one was dog and the 2nd was was baby dog. nasty!

never ate dog again.

 

[HippieKai]

CHINA
“This wall isn’t so great.”

my mom is in china a lot and said that to one of her coworkers there as a joke bu they didn't think it was funny at all.

 

[Austin Bike]

That wall rocked.

I'll remember not to use the Japan, China or Korea lines next week. Anyone need anything while I'm over there? Black Black gum?

 

[Tully]

I like the French one--Germans who can cook sauces.

 

[Dartman]

I got a good story about a buddy who went to Vietnam and ate some dog.

So he wanted to eat some dog, so he went to this one place and then crossed then went to another one across the street the nezt day and ate at another dog restaurant. The 2nd one was much better, but he couldnt tell why. So he asked this dude who spoke Vietanemese (sp?) and he said that the first one was dog and the 2nd was was baby dog. nasty!

never ate dog again.

Mmmmm...Dog Veal.

 

[S.n.a.k.e.]

Not to derail the thread, but this may be topical...

<derailment>
I heard this story from the monitor engineer from Godsmack, I cannot vouch for its' accuracy or truthfulness, but it is funny.

In Europe GS was touring with this giant 3 story construct at Front of house. Level 1 contained the sound equipment, Level 2 is for lighting and video, and level 3 is for the spotlights. The entire structure is composed of steel poles and decking, and takes quite a while to erect/tear down.

They were about halfway through taking the structure apart, when one of the local German crew guys says...(in English w/German accent)
"Ve are tired of putting zhe poles on the truck"

To which one of the assistant lighting techs (a guy who never said anything really, just did his job) perks up and says...
"Well, you guys didn't have a problem with that 30 years ago"

There was an immediate work stoppage, which continued until the guy who said that was escorted out of the building to the bus where he remained for the rest of loadout.

</derailment>

Marc

 

[dh girlie]

Not to derail the thread, but this may be topical...

<derailment>
I heard this story from the monitor engineer from Godsmack, I cannot vouch for its' accuracy or truthfulness, but it is funny.

In Europe GS was touring with this giant 3 story construct at Front of house. Level 1 contained the sound equipment, Level 2 is for lighting and video, and level 3 is for the spotlights. The entire structure is composed of steel poles and decking, and takes quite a while to erect/tear down.

They were about halfway through taking the structure apart, when one of the local German crew guys says...(in English w/German accent)
"Ve are tired of putting zhe poles on the truck"

To which one of the assistant lighting techs (a guy who never said anything really, just did his job) perks up and says...
"Well, you guys didn't have a problem with that 30 years ago"

There was an immediate work stoppage, which continued until the guy who said that was escorted out of the building to the bus where he remained for the rest of loadout.

</derailment>

Marc

ohhhhh man.....

 

[JRB]

You shoulda said in his best Hogan's Heroes voice to describe the guy.