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kidwoo

kidwoo

Artisanal Tweet Curator
Aug 25, 2003
42,149
13,358
Squirtin ketchup n' mustard on charred flesh
Pesqueeb said:
There are at least 2 turkeys, and a chicken in that photo. And I'm not talking about the people.
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turkens and chickeys


look at the hands of the kickball failures

nothing is real

that said, I think the turkens and chickeys are just as horrified at their genetic brethren's behavior. You can never trust her around the wine bottle at parties. They're just staying out of the way, waiting to help clean up afterwords. When you suck at kickball, you suck at life and the avians in the background know there's an entire evening of consoling ahead.
 
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junkyard

junkyard

You might feel a little prick.
Sep 1, 2015
2,616
2,347
San Diego
kidwoo said:
a turkey broke a bunch of shit in a kitchen with some white people in it who have obviously never played kickball
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have you ever kicked a turkey?

I had a Turkey named Gus. Gus was a pet of sorts. But an awful pet, among other things he was also a sexual deviant. He would follow me around the yard and hang out but also peck me on my bald head when I was working on cars. He couldn’t rape most alive things but that didn’t stop him from trying. He did get a piece of my buddies autistic son once though. But all inanimate objects were game and covered in turkey cum.
So I used fight this son of a bitch all the time and would kick him (like in kick ball) and that bastard of a turkey would hit the ground running right back at me. Until I was tired kicking. So I found you grab him by the neck and throw him like a bat over the bushes and he would get lost for a bit. The best day was the day that piece of shit died.
 
kidwoo

kidwoo

Artisanal Tweet Curator
Aug 25, 2003
42,149
13,358
Squirtin ketchup n' mustard on charred flesh
junkyard said:
have you ever kicked a turkey?
Click to expand...
this place was swarmed

Project EARTHWORM WAKEUP, 1st communication

With a promising January/February snow fall report from the greater Lake Tahoe area, a small band of adamant earth movers had produced a false sense of security for the larger earthworm population in the sierra foothills. Complacent they had grown. An atypical March precipitation total has lit...
ridemonkey.bikemag.com ridemonkey.bikemag.com


They'd do the same thing, constantly come attack us while we were digging. Never occurred to me that I should be flattered

junkyard said:
So I used fight this son of a bitch all the time and would kick him (like in kick ball) and that bastard of a turkey would hit the ground running right back at me. Until I was tired kicking.
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sounds familiar :rofl:
 
jdcamb

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
20,050
8,769
Nowhere Man!
junkyard said:
have you ever kicked a turkey?

I had a Turkey named Gus. Gus was a pet of sorts. But an awful pet, among other things he was also a sexual deviant. He would follow me around the yard and hang out but also peck me on my bald head when I was working on cars. He couldn’t rape most alive things but that didn’t stop him from trying. He did get a piece of my buddies autistic son once though. But all inanimate objects were game and covered in turkey cum.
So I used fight this son of a bitch all the time and would kick him (like in kick ball) and that bastard of a turkey would hit the ground running right back at me. Until I was tired kicking. So I found you grab him by the neck and throw him like a bat over the bushes and he would get lost for a bit. The best day was the day that piece of shit died.
Click to expand...
They are kind of assholes. Not like horses. As they kick and shred all in one motion.
 
Changleen

Changleen

Paranoid Member
Jan 9, 2004
14,730
2,712
Pōneke
kidwoo said:
That's actually a sign of both parkinson's and early onset dementia: becoming unstuck in time where you resume a conversation that may have happened years ago, or has only been going on as an internal dialogue
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You literally never do this, right?
 
HAB

HAB

Chelsea from Seattle
Apr 28, 2007
11,592
2,028
Seattle
When I was probably 5 or 6 my dad took me to his job site one weekend to pick up some tools for a project at home or something. The house he was working on at the time was on a 2 lane rural road, probably about a 50 mph speed limit. I was playing in the front yard and a turkey walked through. I just watched it for a minute as it walked into the road and got pancaked by a semi. The cloud of feathers couldn't possibly have been bigger if it'd swallowed a grenade.

One of my very most vivid memories from that age. :rofl:
 
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