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Ridiculous and terrible things you have done when blacked out

ffonsok

Monkey
Dec 6, 2005
692
0
If you've ever been to Vegas, you will know that the strip is filled with tiny Mexicans handing out smut to passers-by. After a solid afternoon at the poolbar, I have no recollection of the following. According to my friends, when the guy tried to hand me some smut trading card, I smacked the stack of pamphlets he was holding and yelled, "Blackjack" at him as the pamphlets scattered to the ground. They say he called me a "Bendejo" and I laughed at him before walking away.

What other rude/jackass things have others done when blacked out? It doesn't count if you remember it, it only counts if your friends had to tell you what you did.
 

amateur

Turbo Monkey
Apr 18, 2002
1,019
0
Orange County
First of all, it's "Pendejo". It means Jacka**.

San Francisco-Pier 39 on a Saturday afternoon. The (former) ladyfriend used to live on a boat that was moored there. After a few cocktails, I walked her to work through the crowds. Pier 39 Security did not approve of my methods (so I'm told) and attempted to detain me. Apparently, I put up quite a fight with the plainclothes officers and they attempted to charge me with A&B. Long story short, SFPD was my savior and the only thing I remember from the event is leaving County Jail 9 with only a warning and taking a nice 1am jog back to the Embarcadero.

Long story short, don't finish a fifth of whiskey by noon.
 

Red Rabbit

Picky Pooper
Jan 27, 2007
2,715
0
Colorado
My best friend tried to fix his toilet when he was drunk. He broke the shut off valve by turning it "too far left" then attempted to kink the waterline which in turn burst. His parents freaked out the next day.

Pretty fvcking funny to watch a bunch of drunk idiots try and fix it (I wasn't drinking)
 

bent_steel

Monkey
Jun 19, 2007
165
0
South
This summer after a late night at this sketchy casino on the Nevada side of county line... employee housing at Northstar resort, my room mate and I got confused which apartment was ours, we attempted to beat the door down when our keys didn't work so our other room mate would open it... Turns out we were not even close to the right place and there were 4 very angry east germans, needless to say it was pretty sad considering we really didn't know many people.
 

Damo

Short One Marshmallow
Sep 7, 2006
4,604
20
French Alps
Tequila-sculling new year's eve, Mt Maunganui.
Tried to pick a fight with a big dude who wished me a 'happy new year', then proceeded to climb onto the roof of a car and launch myself at a policeman. Ended up with a broken ankle and having to be carried home. No recollection at all. Tequila = bad idea.

Sculled a bottle of JDs at another party, then grabbed a tinfoil sheet of cannabis 'spots', lit them all up, ran off down the road. Was found 3 hrs later laying in the gutter staring at the stars and not being able to move a muscle. They thought I was dead. Dumped into the back of a ute and taken home.

Life of the party.
 

BadDNA

hophead
Mar 31, 2006
4,184
121
Winning.
You all got nothing on BurlyShirly...

"...I bet you taste like cholesterol..."

I wish that thread was still around.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,646
664
Front Range, dude...
I dont remember, I was blacked out...

But there were reports of theft of a shower curtain, rolling up in it and "burritoing" down the bunny slope at Steamboat. All the lunch trays were taken...
 

skyst3alth

Monkey
Apr 13, 2004
866
0
Denver, CO
Back when I was at Umass, a few of my buddies and I had an A in Physics II for the semester so we didn't have to take the final. So while everyone else was up studying, we were out drinking the night away. The last thing I recall is around midnight when we decided to go on a "Mission" outside to do something. Grabbed a bottle of Captain Morgans and some beers in a backback and off we went.

The next day our other friends were in taking the final when they starting hearing a commotion out in the hallways, kids screaming, stuff getting slammed around. The said then the door burst open (big double doors into a huge lecture hall) when one of us kicked it in renegate style, and we stumbled in soaking wet, smelling like open ass (probably went for a dive in the campus pond, which is pretty much entirely goose feces), dragging street signs behind us.

A couple of us sat down and started scribbling over everything, I guess my other buddy tried to start up the bunsen burners before we got kicked out.

I woke up in the basement of my dorm without a shirt on, so who knows what happened after that.

My other good Umass story is after we went out on a "Mission", we woke up in the middle of the campus center of another college, by a tour of prospective students. No idea how we got there, what happened, anything.

Good times at the 'Zoo.

I woke up this past Sunday on my kitchen floor, and aparantly at some point during the night had taken out all the pots and pans and created a fort. My buddy called me at 8AM asking where i was since we were supposed to go riding, I was still blasted drunk. Drove down to Rhode Island by myself, puked out the window twice, then rode 3-4 hours still drunk. The other guys were riding behind me to get a buzz going, what a mess. Fun and terrible at the same time. I got home and a good 4-5" of whiskey was gone from my bottle, in addition to 8 or 9 beers.
 

gsweet

Monkey
Dec 20, 2001
734
5
Minnesota
first week of freshman year there used to be a campus wide party where it was very much infered that all men had to dress like women, and all women had to dress as slutty as possible. being the awkward, uncomfortable freshman that i was, i refused to dress up. but i drank plenty. don't remember anything after about 9 pm, but woke up at about 3 in the morning, half a mile off campus, dressed as a catholic school girl. nothing quite like having to do the walk of shame as your own sexual fantasy.

note: mini skirts suck to wear as a guy...they require compression shorts.
 

h22ekhatch

Monkey
Jun 13, 2005
269
0
Portland
I stopped drinking a long time ago...but probably best story would be the time I supposedly started harassing a prostitute for some unknown reason. I guess eventually her pimp or just some helpful citizen got involved and I busted him in the face.

Honestly I don't believe any of that happened, but 2 people swear up and down it's true.

Eh...
 

ffonsok

Monkey
Dec 6, 2005
692
0
first week of freshman year there used to be a campus wide party where it was very much inferred that all men had to dress like women, and all women had to dress as slutty as possible. My buddies and I got drunk and found an awkward, uncomfortable freshman that wasn't dressed up.

We dressed him up as a catholic school girl and drove him half a mile off campus.
 

Prettym1k3

Turbo Monkey
Aug 21, 2006
2,867
0
In your pants
first week of freshman year there used to be a campus wide party where it was very much inferred that all men had to dress like women, and all women had to dress as slutty as possible. My buddies and I got drunk and found an awkward, uncomfortable freshman that wasn't dressed up.

We dressed him up as a catholic school girl and drove him half a mile off campus.
HAHAHAHAHAHA...

OMG man. REP given. Kudos! Kudos! :clapping:
 

gsweet

Monkey
Dec 20, 2001
734
5
Minnesota
first week of freshman year there used to be a campus wide party where it was very much inferred that all men had to dress like women, and all women had to dress as slutty as possible. My buddies and I got drunk and found an awkward, uncomfortable freshman that wasn't dressed up.

We dressed him up as a catholic school girl and drove him half a mile off campus.
well played, sir. rep has been given. on a side note, i think that happened to more than one person: on a campus of less than two thousand, 8 people were taken to detox in less than an hour. the event was subsequently banned after my freshman year.
 

dirttastesgood

Turbo Monkey
Dec 12, 2006
1,517
0
CT
I woke up in a bush outside my parents friends house with a cracked tooth and some panties on the handle bar of my bike. A few nights later I woke up in my friends old tree house.
 

Fonzie18

Turbo Monkey
I wasn't blacked out (nor have I ever been)...
But one of my friends got a job at this high-end club/bar here in downtown S.D which meant free 15+ dollar drinks. Now, I'm not usually a heavy drinker but the drinks were quite tasty and the barista was quite hot. So while I was lookin like a cool guy drinking all these foo-foo drinks the bartender chick must have been laughing histerically inside.

Anyway, I hadto get carried out of the club by my buddies and through the streets of the Gaslamp pretty much drooling like a baby cuz I had never been so drunk. They dumped me outside of a Ralph's supermarket and returned shortly with a loaf of French bread, a gallon of water and a large bottle of pepto-bismol...The result was not a pretty site from what I remember. The worst part was the fact that the hot barista prolly thought I was a total lightweight/newbie/kid (which I guess I am) oh yeah, it was during ASR so there were all kinds of pro surfers/skaters at the club...stupid mountainbikers.
 

dirttastesgood

Turbo Monkey
Dec 12, 2006
1,517
0
CT
I think the things I do to try and fix that stupid things I do are better. I found out who the owner of the panties was and I went to her house to give them back to her. I thought both her parents would be at work but her mom was home sick. So I walked in the door with some red lace panties in my hand and a backpack full of stuff from my garage raid in the morning. I started walking up to the girls room to wake her up and her mom walked rounded the corner. I stuffed her daughters panties in my pocket and than her mom offered to make me breakfast. Now I hadn't seen her mom since I moved away more than a year before this so it was a pretty long conversation. Her mom never found out that I had her daughters panties in my pocket and a backpack full of booze for her daughter. Good stuff.
 

Dartman

Old Bastard Mike
Feb 26, 2003
3,916
0
Richmond, VA
How'd that work out?
Actually not bad.

After attempting to hide from the Marine security under a car. Being dragged out from under said car and laid out on the trunk with a shotgun to the back of my head. I was of course very cooperative and explained I was just trying to get back to my ship and had lost my military ID.

I had to listen to a lecture from the captain a few weeks later after he recieved the arrest report. Which was how I learned of the details. I do however remember the sobering effect of a 12 gauge shotgun being held to my head with a fresh shell being shucked into the chamber.

The Flying Dutchman club was the original scene of the crime. Beers and double shots of Jack Daniels.

Mike
 

blue

boob hater
Jan 24, 2004
10,166
0
california
I just plugged 5 shots of vodka in the space of 2 minutes.

We'll see where the night takes me...the last time I did this my wee-wee ended up in some chick's butt.
 

FriedRys

Monkey
May 21, 2007
185
0
On the losing end of a wishbone
Well there was the time I woke up at a friends house in the middle of the night and mistook his stove for the toilet, that was pretty good. Then there was the time I woke up in a house that wasn't mine, or anyone else I know, passed out on the floor. I guess the owner wasn't at home, or was cool with having a stranger pass out on their floor. I'm still kinda freaked out about that one, waking up in a strange house is nothing new, but waking up in a strange house with no one you know anywhere around and not knowing how ya got there can be a bit disconcerting.:disgust1: