Quantcast

Ridiculous Roommate Wanted Ad

drkenan

drkenan

anti-dentite
Oct 1, 2006
3,441
1
west asheville
One of my good friends moved in with this girl who turned out to be absolutely crazy and got all butt hurt because he wouldn't hang out with them 24/7. Well she just put up this ad to fill his space (contains profanity)...

http://asheville.craigslist.org/roo/1537180419.html

I don't know if I think it's funny because I know them or what but I've been lmao for weeks over this. Who would possibly fit this profile?
 
jonKranked

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
86,135
24,657
media blackout
vegentarian only household? doesn't mesh well with hippies? who are they kidding? they ARE hippies. Sounds like Skatopia, but minus the skateboarding, and way sh*ttier.
 
Jeremy R

Jeremy R

<b>x</b>
Nov 15, 2001
9,698
1,053
behind you with a snap pop
I am going to drive up there and take a seat on her "bad ass" porch wearing a Michael Vick jersey with a cig in one hand and a BBQ plate in the other and say,
"I'm here about the room."
 
TheTruth

TheTruth

Turbo Monkey
Jun 15, 2009
3,893
1
I'm waving. Can you see me now?
Last edited:
drkenan

drkenan

anti-dentite
Oct 1, 2006
3,441
1
west asheville
This morning my friend sent her a text message in order to get his water cooler back and even offered a truce (even though he seriously didn't do ANYTHING to her).

Here's how she responds:
"TRUSE?! (yes, spelled wrong) You almost made me lose my house! You can go to hell! We have NO reason to communicate, get your sh!t & get the fvck out!"

He has no idea how he almost made her lose her house. This chick is off her rocker. She used to drive for my business...man I'm glad her car broke down.
 
sanjuro

sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,373
0
SF
Have you ever been on CL before?

I was going to make a joke about that is how every Bay Area apartment listing is, but this could be anywhere.

I think this is a good ad: upfront about what they do, they seem comfortable about their lifestyle, and they tell you what to expect beforehand.

It may seem unreasonable, like the shotgun bedroom (which is very common in New Orleans), but I assume the rent is appropriate.

Not every CL ad can be: 1 large bedroom w/own bathroom, free cable/internet/heat and I travel 350 days a year.
 
drkenan

drkenan

anti-dentite
Oct 1, 2006
3,441
1
west asheville
sanjuro said:
Have you ever been on CL before?

I was going to make a joke about that is how every Bay Area apartment listing is, but this could be anywhere.

I think this is a good ad: upfront about what they do, they seem comfortable about their lifestyle, and they tell you what to expect beforehand.

It may seem unreasonable, like the shotgun bedroom (which is very common in New Orleans), but I assume the rent is appropriate.

Not every CL ad can be: 1 large bedroom w/own bathroom, free cable/internet/heat and I travel 350 days a year.
Click to expand...

Fair enough - but it's still ridiculous that you have to hang out with them in order to live there. And you can't have pets but you have to take care of theirs. I could go on...

But you live in SF - that kind of thing is expected.
 
jonKranked

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
86,135
24,657
media blackout
drkenan said:
This morning my friend sent her a text message in order to get his water cooler back and even offered a truce (even though he seriously didn't do ANYTHING to her).

Here's how she responds:
"TRUSE?! (yes, spelled wrong) You almost made me lose my house! You can go to hell! We have NO reason to communicate, get your sh!t & get the fvck out!"

He has no idea how he almost made her lose her house. This chick is off her rocker. She used to drive for my business...man I'm glad her car broke down.
Click to expand...
lulz. Its hard to take anger seriously when its misspelled.

Got any more back story on this you can share?
 
Nick

Nick

My name is Nick
Sep 21, 2001
24,119
14,810
where the trails are
TheTruth said:
You didn't get the seinfeld reference.
Click to expand...
jonKranked said:
#1 seinfeld is dead to me.

#2 it doesn't even make sense in the context of the discussion at hand. Vegans dont eat eggs.
Click to expand...
#3 AND that was about the lobster not being Kosher, not about being vegetarian!

Who wouldn't want friends, roomies, and the occasional touring musician cutting through your room to use the bathroom?
 
Prettym1k3

Prettym1k3

Turbo Monkey
Aug 21, 2006
2,864
0
In your pants
Email them, claim Fair Employment and Housing, and then tell them that you'd love to move in but that your faith (religion) demands that you work out, have privacy in your bedroom (ie. no foot traffic) and eat meat on a daily basis to stay in touch with your God.

See how they respond.
 
sanjuro

sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,373
0
SF
drkenan said:
Fair enough - but it's still ridiculous that you have to hang out with them in order to live there. And you can't have pets but you have to take care of theirs. I could go on...

But you live in SF - that kind of thing is expected.
Click to expand...
The biggest difference about renting in SF is that the leaseholder usually dictates the arrangements.

I'm sure it is the same everywhere else, it is just that rental space is so hard to come by here, renters either have to take it or live somewhere else.

I can think of one good reason and one honest reason about not accepting other peoples' pets: the good reason is that the house would be too crowded with more pets, and the honest reason is that the original occupants don't want to take care of the new guy's pets.

I rarely laugh at other people's foibles. Everyone has one or several, and that's what makes people interesting. What I think is funny is when people deny, hide, or lie about it.

This ad is straightforward, and if I lived an open, vegan lifestyle, I probably wouldn't want to move in with a butcher who went to sleep at 9pm.
 
drkenan

drkenan

anti-dentite
Oct 1, 2006
3,441
1
west asheville
jonKranked said:
Got any more back story on this you can share?
Click to expand...
Hhhmmm...let's see. She worked here for over a year and her car recently broke down. My friend also works here (he's 2nd in command) and that's how they met. Ironically, I suggested that he move in with her.

At first things went well but eventually he started working more/hanging out with other people and she got all butt hurt and jealous. Then I told her to quit hanging out in the office b/c she was bringing in her laptop and playing REALLY BAD punk music at top volume while we were trying to take orders.

Anyway, she's crazy. The house has rats because there was a huge trash pile in the yard. They don't have heat or cable or internet. The dryer vent was broken and it was blowing humid air on the back door which turned to ice because it was so cold INSIDE the house.

The "bad ass" porch has 2 couches on it (outside) and a rug that covers holes in it so if you step in the wrong place your foot will go thru. My friend still has stuff over there and he's paid until the end of the month but he's been crashing in our office because he doesn't want to get murdered in his sleep.

I hear thru the grapevine that she deals and the house is in a school zone. Also, the rental agency has no idea that she has so many pets. Crazy crazy crazy...
 
sanjuro

sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,373
0
SF
drkenan said:
Hhhmmm...let's see. She worked here for over a year and her car recently broke down. My friend also works here (he's 2nd in command) and that's how they met. Ironically, I suggested that he move in with her.

At first things went well but eventually he started working more/hanging out with other people and she got all butt hurt and jealous. Then I told her to quit hanging out in the office b/c she was bringing in her laptop and playing REALLY BAD punk music at top volume while we were trying to take orders.

Anyway, she's crazy. The house has rats because there was a huge trash pile in the yard. They don't have heat or cable or internet. The dryer vent was broken and it was blowing humid air on the back door which turned to ice because it was so cold INSIDE the house.

The "bad ass" porch has 2 couches on it (outside) and a rug that covers holes in it so if you step in the wrong place your foot will go thru. My friend still has stuff over there and he's paid until the end of the month but he's been crashing in our office because he doesn't want to get murdered in his sleep.

I hear thru the grapevine that she deals and the house is in a school zone. Also, the rental agency has no idea that she has so many pets. Crazy crazy crazy...
Click to expand...
You see, that's the real story, and that's funny!
 
DirtMcGirk

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
I just replied to the ad with this:

Hey, I saw your ad for this place, thought it looked too good to be true.

I have a couple questions though.

How hard and fast are you on the no meat thing? I have an issue where I am unable to absorb anything other than animal based protein. Nuts/legumes are somehow due to a medical issue I have unable to be utilized by my body, and as such, as I have tried being a Vegan in the past, it has almost killed me. I became very weak and emaciated, which I guess is pretty common in that life style, but so much so that I had to be taken to Walter Reed hospital for over three months for observation and study to figure out what was wrong with me.

Secondly, is there any way while I am sleeping that we can make it so people don't cut through my room? I am a narcoleptic, which is why I was discharged from the United States Marine Corps. We didn't know I was afflicted by this until my first tour in Afghanistan, and as such I have some PTSD issues when I sleep. We were overrun outside of Kandahar, because largely I had fallen asleep during my watch. A hunter killer team of Al Queda overran our position, and some of my friends were killed as a result. Now I tend to sleep very strangely and I tend to wake suddenly if someone is in my room. I accidentally put my last roommate in the hospital for a month when I shattered her arm and put her in a choke hold when she cut through my room. The Army Docs tell me that I should be better now, but I felt really bad when she almost died.

I'm a really good guy, I've just been through a lot over the years. Let me know if we can work out a time to get together and let me look at your place.

Thanks,
Ian
Click to expand...

I'll have to wait with baited breath to see if she gets back to me on this.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom