Expert on blowing
- Feb 12, 2003
rules: must be genuine flamebait from relatives or fwd'd/reposted fb posts where they believe it's steeped in truth/reality/other side's perception, not troll. please cite your source. original works also accepted (rants, etc.)
i have a cousin by marriage who i only hear from once/month, and it's usually a 2 dozen email burst much like this. for the purposes of this thread, he will deliver.local friend of family who i've done pc work for said:Subject: Top 12 Reasons To Vote Democrat
1. I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.
2. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
3. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
4. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
5. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
6. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
7. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
8. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.
9. I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
10. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
11. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.
12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.