[Damn True]

Johnny lived impoverished outside Kobe
and shagged loads of blokes to get more pay
he had no great fear
Of attack from the rear
But he really preferred it the front way

 

[Damn True]

Echo was thought rather Kinky
and his fingers were always quite stinky
When IRB asked him why
He replied with a sigh
'cos I wipe my arse with my pinky.

 

[Damn True]

Echo had a girlfriend named Alice
he shagged her with a dynamite phallus.
They found her vagina
in North Carolina
and bits of her tits down in Dallas.

 

[Damn True]

H8r he hailed from Wheeling
and beat his meat with great feeling
Then like a trout
he stuck his tounge out
and caught drops of jizz from the ceiling.

 

[Damn True]

IRB knew a Rabbi from Keith
who circumsized boys with his teeth
It was not for the treasure
or sexual pleasure
but to get to the cheese underneath.

 

[Damn True]

I hope this thread does not die
I love limericks, about that I shant lie
c'mon what's the matter
use that iambic pentameter
dont let your creativity run dry

 

[llkoolkeg]

I suspect some submissions of fraud;
Plagarism does not sit with God.
If you post it, then write it;
Don't cannabalize it,
Then pause for us all to applaud!

 

[Damn True]

Adaptations of classics you see.
Not plagarism but homage to a degree.
Not trying to be haughty,
I like them baudy and naughty.
No problem writing my own so eat me.

 

[Damn True]

I find Johnnys rhymes to be stellar,
he's a very creative old feller.
His submissions reduced,
I hope to give him a boost.
But I fear he's drunk in the wine cellar.

 

[llkoolkeg]

Adaptations of classics you see.
Not plagarism but homage to a degree.
Not trying to be haughty,
I like them baudy and naughty.
No problem writing my own so eat me.

Hahaha...I was wondering whether or not you'd look over your shoulder.

 

[I Are Baboon]

Everyone knows that fresh thought is better
We all agree, down to each letter
Don't be a N8
and copy and paste
We'd rather you go hump your setter

 

[Damn True]

That keg dude I hear likes the dank.
He'll choose it before a good wank.
In did he chime,
with a rhyme quite sublime.
But now he's givin his frank a spank.

 

[Damn True]

Oh please don't even attempt,
to lump me in with N8, now that's contempt!
Old rhymes are just fine,
and get better like wine.
Of your criticism I am quite exempt.

 

[Damn True]

Besides N8 dosent rhyme with paste.
You wrote that in excessive haste.
Your rhymes have been weak,
but mine, sheer boutique
as they come from a man of great taste.

 

[Damn True]

My dear lad IRB,
you'll lose if you challenge me.
A verbal disaster,
from the limerick master.
dont screw with the rhyming marquis.

 

[mcA896]

Damn true is a petty foo
who sits and chews on mooshoo
the fatties he attracts
all stick to him like wax
and now i have to go take a poo

 

[Damn True]

I'll float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.
Im the rhymin good-timin Muhammed Ali.
You'll go down like Fraser,
my words cut like a razor.
A knockout in the fifth I guarantee.


Im pretty proud of this one!

 

[mcA896]

join a freestyle contest and wear doo rags
then instead of fatties you'll only attract old women and hags
im all for a good flame, but this game is lame
and i think i saw your woman in porno mags

 

[Damn True]

I just got back from takin a dump,
and produced this mcA chump.
Now listen boy
go play with a toy.
I've run over you like a speed bump.

 

[H8R]

Besides N8 dosent rhyme with paste.
You wrote that in excessive haste.
Your rhymes have been weak,
but mine, sheer boutique
as they come from a man of great taste.

True, rhymes are only a part,
of what makes the limerick an art.
When the rythm is lacking,
you're obviously slacking!
I can buy better prose at Wal Mart!

 

[binary visions]

From the number of rhymes out of True,
He must have naught better to do.
Does he have no job,
'Cept to polish his knob,
At the all-nudist male revue?

 

[mcA896]

hahaha! i laughed out loud for that one.

his name is binary visions
he enjoys having anal "collisions"
a smart man is he
to play with his tree
in such a way that it causes incisions

 

[Damn True]

From the number of rhymes out of True,
He must have naught better to do.
Does he have no job,
'Cept to polish his knob,
At the all-nudist male revue?

Hahaha well done my boy,
that one has filled me with joy.
Not for love or money,
but just to be funny.
I applaud the wit you employ.

 

[llkoolkeg]

That keg dude I hear likes the dank.
He'll choose it before a good wank.
In did he chime,
with a rhyme quite sublime.
But now he's givin his frank a spank.

Sadly, my pudtug must wait;
At work I can not masterbate.
Not a pull from the bong,
From a tap; for my schlong,
Or escorted, my desk I vacate!

 

[Damn True]

H8r the male masseuer,
was a rhyming two-timing amateuer.
Stick to rubbing the buns
of fortunate son's.
I'm the limerick mitrailleur.

 

[Damn True]

Dang I can even do it in french.
but this isn't easy, my thirst I must quench.
As if by routine
into your machine.
Ive tossed an en francais monkey wrench.

 

[Damn True]

Sadly, my pudtug must wait;
At work I can not masterbate.
Not a pull from the bong,
From a tap; for my schlong,
Or escorted, my desk I vacate!

nice

Hey keg have you ever been to Juneau?
Up there shaggin is one thing they do know.
They say the man butt is fine,
and the sheep are divine.
But the llama are numero uno!

 

[Damn True]

H8r admitted with candor
that he once humped the rump of gander.
He said that the goose
was not at all loose.
and he's looking for a gaggle to pander.

 

[Damn True]

Though my limericks have been numerous,
I hope you know Im just being humorous.
Though the words might just sting,
They don't mean a thing.
Limericks can be quite abiogenous.

 

[llkoolkeg]

nice

Hey keg have you ever been to Juneau?
Up there shaggin is one thing they do know.
They say the man butt is fine,
and the sheep are divine.
But the llama are numero uno!

A taste for man ass I have not;
I prefer hash & resinous pot.
Herbals fragrant and strong,
With ripe glands full and long,
Like the bestial cocks you deem hot!

 

[Damn True]

Abiogenous is an indellicate word,
that rolls of the tounge like a turd.
Though the limerick was good
and it gave H8r wood
I fear my enjoyment of this is absurd.

 

[Damn True]

Keg went to the adult film emporium
it's not just a super sensorium.
But a highly effectual
heterosexual
mutual masterbatorium

 

[OGRipper]

In this thread Damn True is prolific.
Bustin' rhymes at a pace that is so sick.
He keeps saying its flattery,
the true scribes call it battery.
His originality is not so terrific!

 

[OGRipper]

LLKoolKeg with a taste for the hash,
Smokin' so much he keeps losing his stash.
His parties are like an easter egg hunt,
with everyone searching, for the lost blunt.
Wish I could crash his next bash!

:evil:

 

[Damn True]

I have no affinity for shlong,
beyond the one I bring along.
The wang in my pants,
a portugese lance.
Has been saved for the ladies all along.

 

[llkoolkeg]

LLKoolKeg with a taste for the hash,
Smokin' so much he keeps losing his stash.
His parties are like an easter egg hunt,
with everyone searching, for the lost blunt.
Wish I could crash his next bash!

Four-twenty was the last ganj fest,
Not the host, but I came with the best.
Please, like True, don't assume,
In some circle-jerk room,
But a den where each guest was impressed.

:evil:

 

[Damn True]

A malicious old whore from Peru
filled her vagina with glue.
She said with a grin,
"Keg you've paid to get in,
and you'll pay to get out of it too."

 

[Damn True]

C'mon fellas dont let this thread fizzle.
Participate, but dont be a pizzle.
You just cant deny,
we've got quite a supply.
Of limerick writers fo'-shizzle.

 

[johnbryanpeters]

Who is mcA896?
He thinks that the others are dicks!
He may be right or wrong
But I fear before long
He's in for some bad kicks!

 

[flatulant_man]

there once was this guy, j.b. peters,
who was strangely attracted to bird feeders.
though try as he might,
he couldn't reach to their hight,
for he was short just about two full meters.

(he may or may not be a short guy.)