[-dustin]

and i feel no different than i did before the call voicemail (phone died, so i didn't get far into the message). is that odd?

back in the day, i'd go stay with her during the summer because she lived within the walls of a country club. yadda (alcoholism, treating her kids bad, seperating herself from the family) yadda...her and my mom had a big argument, and we haven't heard from her in a good 8 - 10yrs. during that time, she's pulled off some stupid **** (new from my cousin). off to go try and get in touch with my mom.

 

[stosh]

Sorry to hear that!
You going to the Funeral?

 

[-dustin]

looks like it. through my cell phone cutting out 4 times, i was able to get some info, including mom and i going to the funeral on saturday. cause of death is unknown (died same day as mom, my grandmother, 11/21), no one has heard from Nicole (my niece), Cody (cousin) is taking it hard, and my other aunt is one her way to find Cody. i don't think this is going to make for a very festiv Thanksgiving.

my only concerns are Cody, Nikki, and my research project due on Tuesday.

 

[stinkyboy]

 

[stosh]

looks like it. through my cell phone cutting out 4 times, i was able to get some info, including mom and i going to the funeral on saturday. cause of death is unknown (died same day as mom, my grandmother, 2/21), no one has heard from Nicole (my niece), Cody (cousin) is taking it hard, and my other aunt is one her way to find Cody. i don't think this is going to make for a very festiv Thanksgiving.

my only concerns are Cody, Nikki, and my research project due on Tuesday.

Wow man, funerals never seem to have "good" timing.

Sorry to hear that, it's a tough situation your family is in.

My cousin died drunk driving with her boyfriend 2yrs ago, that was a tough funeral because I was kind of close to her.

 

[TreeSaw]

Sorry to hear of your loss.

 

[-dustin]

so as time goes on, this situations is becoming worse. seems her son, Cody, is taking it really, really badly. i talked to him last night and he said, among other things "it's ****in' stupid that Omie's death seperated the family, and it took my mom's death to bring us back together" [not in an emotional sense, but physically...1st time in 7yrs all of us will be in the same room]." saturday's going to be an odd day.

 

[sunny]

I'm so sorry.

But perhaps it's better that Cody lets himself mourn and get angry now, rather than shutting down and closing everything out.

As for the awkward family dinner, maybe you could put together a few stories about your aunt, or that involve your aunt, and you can share them with the family at dinner. I remember when my husband's grandmother died, it got pretty solemn around the table, when someone said, "Millie would never approve. She'd want us all telling stories and laughing together. (pause) I remember when she..." and soon they were all telling fond stories of growing up, etc...

Perhaps the recent years were bad, but everyone has something he wants to remember about the one who has died.

Just a suggestion.

-sunny

 

[kinghami3]

and i feel no different than i did before the call voicemail (phone died, so i didn't get far into the message). is that odd?

back in the day, i'd go stay with her during the summer because she lived within the walls of a country club. yadda (alcoholism, treating her kids bad, seperating herself from the family) yadda...her and my mom had a big argument, and we haven't heard from her in a good 8 - 10yrs. during that time, she's pulled off some stupid **** (new from my cousin). off to go try and get in touch with my mom.

I'm sorry to hear that. My grandpa died recently (2 months ago), and I had fairly similar feelings: none. I think it was because I knew he hit my mom and her siblings when they were children. It's accepted by all that he loved them, he just didn't get the whole punishment thing down. It wasn't until the funeral when my cousin and I filled in his grave that emotions started to hit, and at the memorial when we started telling stories I really had to hold the tears back. I really wouldn't say that what you're feeling is odd, but once you start to remember the good parts of her, I wouldn't be surprised if you start to feel something.

 

[-dustin]

just got back from the funeral.

you know, it's easy to have no emotion when seperated from the issue. when placed right in the middle of it, though....oi. not sure exactly what caused my dam to break. i think it was mainly due to seeing my cousin break down, as well as my mom, and the 3rd sister (my other aunt).

you know what else, when i die, i don't want to have an open casket. of the 4 funerals i've been to in the last 7yrs, no one has looked life-like laying in a casket. it's the little things just screw it up. for example, my aunt's lipstick...nothing she has ever worn. no earings, nail color. all wrong. the last memory i want people to have of me, is what i actually look like...not some made-up, mannequin. i also don't want my funeral service to morph into a sermon. and i especially don't want to random person speaking to tell a personal story about himself. what the hell was that? 45min service, with a 10min store about he and his mom. what do we care? and to top things off, he mispronounced the family name. geeze...