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So my dad is in the hospice....

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Reactor

Reactor

Turbo Monkey
Apr 5, 2005
3,976
1
Chandler, AZ, USA
My father who had stage III small cell lung cancer is now in the Hospice. His chest tumors had shrunk while undergoing chemo , but he now has lesions on the brain. Apparently he went from fine on Saturday morning, to hallucinations and incoherence on Saturday night. He's had a couple of radiation therapy episodes and is somewhat better but his doctor has limited him to nine treatments and says he has only a few days left. He can't walk and fell out of bed earlier this week and had to go to the ER. My brothers just told me today, and I went to see him.

I'm having some trouble dealing with it. I just changed jobs so I have to go to work tomorrow, at least for a little while, but at least I have Friday off. If anyone wonders why I haven't been around much the last month or so....This, my job and spending a little time with the family haven't left me with much time.
 
LordOpie

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,022
3
Denver
That sucks!

I remember spending 20 hours a day in a hospice for two months when my dad was dying. I'm sorry for what you are and will go through.
 
N8 v2.0

N8 v2.0

Not the sharpest tool in the shed
Oct 18, 2002
11,003
149
The Cleft of Venus
Hey man...

My pops had congestive heart diese... he came home from the hospital and the hospice people set up a bed and everything at my parents home. A hospice nurse came in every day to check him until the end (6 weeks). The nice thing was that he got to be at home in his last days...

I always miss him.

My best wishes to he and you.
 
Reactor

Reactor

Turbo Monkey
Apr 5, 2005
3,976
1
Chandler, AZ, USA
N8 said:
Hey man...

My pops had congestive heart diese... he came home from the hospital and the hospice people set up a bed and everything at my parents home. A hospice nurse came in every day to check him until the end (6 weeks). The nice thing was that he got to be at home in his last days...

I always miss him.

My best wishes to he and you.
Click to expand...

Thanks, N8.

It's hard..Last week he had a CAT scan and they thought he could live several years because the tumors were shrinking, and now it looks like maybe a week or two at the most. What sucks is that he had a hard life, and never really got to enjoy retirement.
 
Jeremy R

Jeremy R

<b>x</b>
Nov 15, 2001
9,701
1,056
behind you with a snap pop
Sorry man, that is very sad to hear.
My grandfather passed away while on Hospice.
They are there to comfort the family and to keep him as comfortable as possible. When my grandfather died he had all 16 people in our family standing around his bedside. It was a very peaceful and loving way to go.
If it is your father's time to go, all you can do is be there for him and your family. Best wishes.
 
maxyedor

maxyedor

<b>TOOL PRO</b>
Oct 20, 2005
5,496
3,141
In the bathroom, fighting a battle
Sorry to hear that, but if I could offer any tidbit of advice it's to spend as much time as possible with him. When my Grandfather was given two months to live, he had pretty severe lung cancer, I figured I would stay and talk to him as much as I could even if he couldn't realy talk back. He ended up dying a few days later and spending that time with him made it easier in some odd way, for both him and me.
 
hooples3

hooples3

Fuggetaboutit!
Mar 14, 2005
5,245
0
Brooklyn
I am so sorry to hear about you dad.. I know its not easy, hang in there. I went through a similar thing last year with my mom.. stage III small cell lung as well. Things were not looking good for a while and i went through the hardest time of my life.Fortunatly things worked out well for my mom. I feel for you and know where you are coming from.. God bless you and your family.
 
binary visions

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
22,165
1,261
NC
So sorry to hear about that... Spend as much time as possible with him, as I am sure you are doing. My condolances and best wishes for you and your family in this hard time :(
 
J

JRB

Guest
Sorry to hear, Reactor. I'm not going into I know how you feel. I am saying mother died in hospice care with breast cancer in '98. If you need anything, and I mean that, PM me and I will get you contact info.

God bless you and your family.
 
dan-o

dan-o

Turbo Monkey
Jun 30, 2004
6,499
2,805
Reading this thread brought all the pain of my father's passing back. Best wishes to you and your family.
 
TreeSaw

TreeSaw

Mama Monkey
Oct 30, 2003
17,813
2,132
Dancin' over rocks n' roots!
:( I am SO sorry to hear this!!! My thoughts and prayers go out to your family during this awful time. Try to spend time with him now, but more importantly, remember all the good times you had together when he was healthy and happy!
 
sinisteridge

sinisteridge

Monkey
Jan 22, 2006
121
0
holden it down in h20 town`
im so sorry to hear that man, im right with you on this one. recently my families best freind went into hospice and passed, and just 2 days ago the same thing happened to my grandmother who had limphoma and lukemia for 15 years, talk about a fighter. i know how you feel man, its tough.
god bless man
 
robdamanii

robdamanii

OMG! <3 Tom Brady!
May 2, 2005
10,677
0
Out of my mind, back in a moment.
Sorry to hear about your dad. There's never anything that you can say that helps to make it better. My grandfather passed in a similar situation back in 99 from mesothelioma. The hospice was just so depressing. Keep your chin up man.
 
urbaindk

urbaindk

The Real Dr. Science
Jul 12, 2004
4,819
0
Sleepy Hollar
Sorry to hear about your Dad. My wife's Grandmother is getting ready to go through the same thing. She was just diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. She's doing chemo now to try to get it under control but they are only giving her a few months to live. They are going to call in hospice when the time comes so she can stay at home.

My wife and her sister are driving down to NC this weekend to make one of her last visits with their Grandmother. Man that's tough.
 
Ciaran

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,841
19
So Cal
I am very sorry to hear about your father. My thoughts and prayers go to your family this day.
 
brungeman

brungeman

I give a shirt
Jan 17, 2006
5,170
0
da Burgh
I am very sorry to hear about your dad. It is tough at times like these to come up with words that can express how deeply we all feel for what you are going through. I wish you and your family the best during this tough time. My thoughts are with you.
 
Total Heckler

Total Heckler

Beer and Bike Enthusiast
Apr 28, 2005
8,180
210
Santa Cruz, CA
Sorry to hear about that man. Things like that are always really hard. My brother almost died from cancer 6 years ago he had Non-Hotchkins Lymphoma at 18. The chemo and radiation actually got rid of it completely. Now he is going to be a dad in 7 months! Stay positive. =]
 
Reactor

Reactor

Turbo Monkey
Apr 5, 2005
3,976
1
Chandler, AZ, USA
Thanks everyone. My work let me off early, and I had tomorrow off already so I'm going to spend as much time as possible with him over the next few days.
 
partsbara

partsbara

Turbo Monkey
Nov 16, 2001
3,995
0
getting Xtreme !
all the best to you and the old man mate... just rest assured that although he had a tough retirement from the sounds of it (and possibly a tough knock at the game of life ??) he undoubtedly had some great times... you and him remember the laughs fella.. thats the cherry right there...

all the best.....
 
urbaindk

urbaindk

The Real Dr. Science
Jul 12, 2004
4,819
0
Sleepy Hollar
My wife worked on a research study of end of life care with UNC. Most people she interviewed had a very high opinion of hospice care. They will do everything in their power to make your father's last days as comfortable as possible.

Best wishes.
 
Serial Midget

Serial Midget

Al Bundy
Jun 25, 2002
13,053
1,897
Fort of Rio Grande
Why not explain your family crisis to your employer? I just hired a new employee last week - after just one day of training she called and said her mother was in the final stages of cancer and would most likley expire in the next few days - I gave her an indefinate period of time to deal with her family situation. I'd be a real ass not to - who wants to work for a company that is not willing to be flexible when it comes to your personal life? If your new employer isn't willing to be flexible then they don't deserve you as an employee. :monkey:

Family is more important anyway - money comes and goes.
 
partsbara

partsbara

Turbo Monkey
Nov 16, 2001
3,995
0
getting Xtreme !
Serial Midget said:
Why not explain your family crisis to your employer? I just hired a new employee last week - after just one day of training she called and said her mother was in the final stages of cancer and would most likley expire in the next few days - I gave her an indefinate period of time to deal with her family situation. I'd be a real ass not to - who wants to work for a company that is not willing to be flexible when it comes to your personal life? If your new employer isn't willing to be flexible then they don't deserve you as an employee. :monkey:

Family is more important anyway - money comes and goes.
Click to expand...
bingo... good to see ya around SM :)
 
Reactor

Reactor

Turbo Monkey
Apr 5, 2005
3,976
1
Chandler, AZ, USA
biggins said:
i am quitting smoking because of this thread.
Click to expand...
Biggins,

If even one positive thing happens because of this thread, it will make this a little better.

When I saw my dad today he was a little better. The anti-psychotic drugs and radiation therapy are helping a little. He is lucid (more or less) but has some definite problems. The brain tumors have caused him to lose most of his muscle control. He sleeps at least half the time. I won't go into details, but this isn't the way would I want to die.




Thanks to everyone for the good wishes.
 
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