[eric strt6]

Dirt

Having crawed out of the bottle July 10 1981 and pulling the straw out of my nose in 1990. I know what hell looks like. Find yourself, find that thing that makes you like yourself again. and most of all never let a "thing" (alcohol, drugs, other people) control your life, you need to control it. and after all these years the one thing that has kept me straight is that I have never taken it farther than I am not going to drink or do drugs right now, because in reality "Right Now" is all you can control

PM me if you need some one to talk to

Eric

 

[Wumpus]

Eric

I think you need a shave.

 

[loco-gringo]

How did your meetings go, bro??? Shout if you ever need to come to TX to relax. While no issues the same as yours, I've had quite the rough year. Hopefully it's better. Hopefully you can look back in short order and see things flying in the right direction. God speed.

 

[eric strt6]

I think you need a shave.

naw thats just the shaving cream on my head

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

naw thats just the shaving cream on my head

Posting your match.com profile photo is just weird.





Dirt, where are you ?

Stay strong mang.

 

[DirtMcGirk]

Can I assume you are still in the Secret Santa event? Either way e-mail me.

First thing I have to do to improve: Not shirk my responsibilities. I ordered the bits and pieces for my gnome, so its all dialed in.

 

[DirtMcGirk]

Today I:

- Went to my first AA meeting at a half way house.
- Spoke with my father in law about the state of the circus
- Forgave my best friend from years back who threw me over for a woman.
- Scheduled therapy for tomorrow morning.
- Accepted the things I cannot change, and found peace in that which I cannot.
- Found and enrolled in an anger management/behavioral modification/life skills class that goes off every Thursday.
- Ran my dogs for six miles.
- Went to the gym for a spin class and a lift.
- Worked on my ability to be accepting.

For some reason I see this being a long process. I need to rebuild my tool box so I have better methods to deal with conflict and people I want to kick right in their wedding tackle.

 

[stosh]

First thing I have to do to improve: Not shirk my responsibilities. I ordered the bits and pieces for my gnome, so its all dialed in.

Good to hear!

Thanks and it sounds like you have the right attitude.

 

[I Are Baboon]

Today I:

- Went to my first AA meeting at a half way house.
- Spoke with my father in law about the state of the circus
- Forgave my best friend from years back who threw me over for a woman.
- Scheduled therapy for tomorrow morning.
- Accepted the things I cannot change, and found peace in that which I cannot.
- Found and enrolled in an anger management/behavioral modification/life skills class that goes off every Thursday.
- Ran my dogs for six miles.
- Went to the gym for a spin class and a lift.
- Worked on my ability to be accepting.

For some reason I see this being a long process. I need to rebuild my tool box so I have better methods to deal with conflict and people I want to kick right in their wedding tackle.

That sounds like a pretty full day.

I made salmon.

 

[Colonel Angus]

I made salmon.

The salmon's mommy and daddy made the salmon. You just cooked it.

 

[Rip]

The salmon's mommy and daddy made the salmon. You just cooked it.

That Salmon's mommy and Daddy gave their lives for the salmon he ate.

 

[loco-gringo]

Cool. Keep us posted if you will.

 

[jimmydean]

Today I:

- Went to my first AA meeting at a half way house.
- Spoke with my father in law about the state of the circus
- Forgave my best friend from years back who threw me over for a woman.
- Scheduled therapy for tomorrow morning.
- Accepted the things I cannot change, and found peace in that which I cannot.
- Found and enrolled in an anger management/behavioral modification/life skills class that goes off every Thursday.
- Ran my dogs for six miles.
- Went to the gym for a spin class and a lift.
- Worked on my ability to be accepting.

For some reason I see this being a long process. I need to rebuild my tool box so I have better methods to deal with conflict and people I want to kick right in their wedding tackle.

Now I need a nap.

That is a bit much, but a hell of a start. If it works for you, that's awesome. For me, I have to take things in smaller chunks, or after about 2 weeks, I feel wiped and crash.

 

[SkaredShtles]

That sounds like a pretty full day.

I made salmon.

I don't like salmon.

 

[greenchris]

good luck with your changing of ways. Don't try to do too much at once and get burned out and discouraged.

 

[Prettym1k3]

Good luck man. Can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I've had my hard times.

And being sober and completely void of all things alcohol is possible. I've been that way for 26 years... and I'm 26 years old. No peer pressure, either from college friends or otherwise, can overcome a personal choice that you've made down to the core.

 

[chicodude]

Good luck man. Can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I've had my hard times.

And being sober and completely void of all things alcohol is possible. I've been that way for 26 years... and I'm 26 years old. No peer pressure, either from college friends or otherwise, can overcome a personal choice that you've made down to the core.

Never tried it?

 

[geargrrl]

Today I:

- Went to my first AA meeting at a half way house.
- Spoke with my father in law about the state of the circus
- Forgave my best friend from years back who threw me over for a woman.
- Scheduled therapy for tomorrow morning.
- Accepted the things I cannot change, and found peace in that which I cannot.
- Found and enrolled in an anger management/behavioral modification/life skills class that goes off every Thursday.
- Ran my dogs for six miles.
- Went to the gym for a spin class and a lift.
- Worked on my ability to be accepting.

For some reason I see this being a long process. I need to rebuild my tool box so I have better methods to deal with conflict and people I want to kick right in their wedding tackle.

Good on ya man.
I am overawed by all the good sense and support from the monkies.

- Accepted the things I cannot change, and found peace in that which I cannot.

Heh, this is an ongoing process. You never do it just once and you are done.

It is a long process, sometimes day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Hang in there, find your support. This is one area of your life where you don't "man up" and do it alone.

We've had sobriety in my house for some time- I do my own 12 step work along with my hubby's.

 

[Nick]

And being sober and completely void of all things alcohol is possible. I've been that way for 26 years... and I'm 26 years old.

???

 

[blue]

???

???

Best of luck, Dirt. Seriously.

 

[DirtMcGirk]

You guys are the best.

All of the support in PM's, email, here on the board helps more then I can say. Sunday I was feeling like the last man on earth, but you all have shown me that I am not.

Its a process. I went to see my new shrink today, and he told me that this is going to hurt, a lot. I am going to have to face up to a lot of my BS, to my lies, to the lies I've told myself.

I found a sponsor last night, good guy. He's served time, covered in ink, used to be a Nomad, and has found his way home. He has that sort of "Hell's drill Sargeant" feel about him, so I know I will have the support, even when I don't want it.

Thanks again you guys. For a collection of people I only know from afar, you're pretty goddarn great.

 

[SkaredShtles]

<snip>

I am intrigued by your theories and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

 

[Prettym1k3]

Never tried it?

I've had sips of things... literally less than a tea-spoon. I don't care for the taste. On top of the fact that I've lost friends to drugs and alcohol, lost family to drugs and alcohol, addiction runs rampant in my family, and I see addiction in my own life... I'm simply not inclined to subject myself to the possibility of ruining relationships with family and friends, nor risk the amazing marriage I have with my wife.

???

I oppose the straight edge movement with all of my heart and soul. They have zero foundation for their movement other than the typical "I want to be different" cry for help, and are often times violent against those who drink (ie. FSU on the east coast).

I have nothing against those who drink. Only those who get smashed and cause pain/hurt/suffering to those around them. I also oppose people who get sh*tfaced and expect others to hold their hair back, or clean up after them, or make sure they get some safely. Adults need to act like adults, and few adults truly do. lthumbsdown:

Back to the topic at hand, I'm glad to hear things are going well, Dirt. Keep up the great job! We're all behind you... (some of the sickos in here might have a boner though)...

 

[Jeremy R]

 

[skunkty14]

I oppose the straight edge movement with all of my heart and soul. They have zero foundation for their movement other than the typical "I want to be different" cry for help, and are often times violent against those who drink (ie. FSU on the east coast).

I have nothing against those who drink. Only those who get smashed and cause pain/hurt/suffering to those around them. I also oppose people who get sh*tfaced and expect others to hold their hair back, or clean up after them, or make sure they get some safely. Adults need to act like adults, and few adults truly do. lthumbsdown:

Damn straight, nail on the head there. I behaved the same way until mid way through college and made the decision on my own to drink. The whole straight edge thing is a bunch of crap IMO, just make your own decisions, respect the decisions of others, and treat other how you want to be treated. Should be simple in theory.

Back on topic, good luck Dirt and good job on acknowledging the changes that you feel need to be made.

 

[mandown]

in a search for advice on other areas of difficulty in my life, a bud of mine who is in AA (and has been for many years) gave me some AA-rooted words of wisdom. he told me the following:
abusing alcohol is like a carrying around a giant bucket of s#!t and vomit with you; everywhere you go, people can see it and smell it. they don't want to let you near them, in their house, or their place of business. aa helps you put down the bucket. aa doesn't promise a big house on the hill, a phat bank-roll, a fancy watch, an expensive car, or the model girlfriend and rockstar lifestyle. all it does is get you to the point where you can live a life where people aren't repulsed by you. everything else you do is up to you.

he gave me the advice in regards to other issues i was going through, problems i was carrying around in the same way an alcoholic carries around substance abuse. people can tell when you have "bad ju-ju" around you. they don't always see it on the surface, and they don't always know what it is, but they can tell and the good ones will stay away from you.

it will be a process. every coping mechanism you have is like a tool in a tool box. some work great for certain jobs, but horribly for other jobs: you could use a hammer to smash a screw into a wall, but you'd better off using a screwdriver. of course, you could drive a nail into a wall with a screwdriver, but the hammer is the better option for that job. learn which mechanisms solve the problems you have. recognize that you may have the tool to do that job, or you may need to acquire it.

 

[BigMike]

Good luck man! It's a lot to take on, but if you are dedicated, you can do it.

 

[Westy]

Best of luck Dirt.

I recommend reading "Where ever you go, there you are"

 

[Sandwich]

hey dud where are you located, besides oz?

 

[OGRipper]

I skipped this earlier thinking it was another frivolous McGirk thread. Best of luck with all that you want to accomplish. Check out "Dharma Punks" at some point, interesting read about finding Buddhism after a life of abuse.

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

I've had sips of things... literally less than a tea-spoon. I don't care for the taste. On top of the fact that I've lost friends to drugs and alcohol, lost family to drugs and alcohol, addiction runs rampant in my family, and I see addiction in my own life... I'm simply not inclined to subject myself to the possibility of ruining relationships with family and friends, nor risk the amazing marriage I have with my wife.

Being able to recognize this is a positive thing. If you know you are at risk of becoming addicted, then you best just stay away.




The ability to identify one's strengths and weaknesses is the first step in growing as a person.

Another Smithy friend of mine once told me that he tries to learn something new everyday. I know people who are completely disinterested in learning and growing altogether. They tend to be some of the saddest and most angry individuals.

 

[DirtMcGirk]

These days my less fat and drier ass is in Reno for the winter.

I've got a riding coach here teaching me the black art of dirt jumping and how to really make the DH bike do its thing.

I have some of my best friends helping me, but at the same time understanding that I have to do this for myself. I was always the guy you wanted to help out because I was the funny, life of the party drunk. People would do too much for me, and it let me get lazy. This time its on me, sink or swim.

My family is here too, and they're letting me figure all of this out. They're trying to stay as neutral in the possible divorce as they can, even my father-in-law has been rooting for me to man the **** up. Its unlike anything I have done before.

A lot of people, I think, have been waiting a long time for me to get to this point, most essentially my wife. I think they see the potential I long ago forgot and abandoned.

Its one day at a time. I am not a big Jeebus guy, but I am debating giving Allah or Buddah a chance. I am unsure as of yet how I am going to deal with some of the 12 steps, but then again, if I knew how to deal with all of them, I wouldn't be where I am right now.

I feel better today. I feel lighter. I was watching Animal House, and I remember what it was like to be the younger, less bruised and scarred version of myself. I am going to find that little bastard again, and go from there, see if I can't make him bigger, better, faster and stronger.

 

[JeffKill]

I oppose the straight edge movement with all of my heart and soul. They have zero foundation for their movement other than the typical "I want to be different" cry for help, and are often times violent against those who drink

Damn straight, nail on the head there. I behaved the same way until mid way through college and made the decision on my own to drink. The whole straight edge thing is a bunch of crap IMO, just make your own decisions, respect the decisions of others, and treat other how you want to be treated. Should be simple in theory.

Not everyone that is straight edge fits into those categories. While there are assholes out there that ruin it, we dont all go around beating up people that dont have the same beliefs, or think we're better than people who drink, smoke, etc. I myself really couldnt care less about what other people do. I've always said to each his own. Whats right for one person isnt always right for everyone else. And any of the sXe people I know or associate with, feel the same way.

I wasted about 8 or 9 years of my life doing nothing but drugs. Straight edge showed me a better way of life. Who knows, maybe I would've quit everything and turned my life around without it. But at the time, it was the one single thing that turned me around. And to read that someone opposes this "with their heart and soul" is kind of sickening to me.

Im not sure what experiences the two of you had with sXe, but apparently they where negative. I also know that alot of people know nothing more about sXe other than what they've seen on tv. Which usually only shows the negative aspects of it, and the dickheads that give it a bad name.

To the OP, sorry for going off topic, and good luck with everything.

 

[S.n.a.k.e.]

Dirt,

I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor, you have picked a long and tough row to hoe. It seems like you heart and head are in the right place for this change to occur.

I'm pulling for you man.

Marc

 

[Quo Fan]

It sounds to me like you are trying to be the man your wife married. If it is, then good for you. Deciding not to be a drunkard anymore and start dealing with your issues will make you a better person, and more fun to be around.

I hope that you do well in what you have begun. It is a long and difficult process to change yourself in small chunks, yet you are trying to do it in big chunks. I wish you well.

 

[DirtMcGirk]

I am on a time clock.
And I like insanely large projects.

I work as a snowboard instructor instructor. I have time and thought to spare these days.

I just needed to start the process. I took it all down in a couple days. Now I start getting into a predictable, set rhythm, keep my therapy and AA appointments, run my ass thin at the gym, and ride my new Titus until the wheels implode.

Nose to the grind stone, work makes you free, trust the steps and find my way back to being me.

its a plan, I like it, I am on it.

 

[skunkty14]

Not everyone that is straight edge fits into those categories. While there are assholes out there that ruin it, we dont all go around beating up people that dont have the same beliefs, or think we're better than people who drink, smoke, etc. I myself really couldnt care less about what other people do. I've always said to each his own. Whats right for one person isnt always right for everyone else. And any of the sXe people I know or associate with, feel the same way.

I wasted about 8 or 9 years of my life doing nothing but drugs. Straight edge showed me a better way of life. Who knows, maybe I would've quit everything and turned my life around without it. But at the time, it was the one single thing that turned me around. And to read that someone opposes this "with their heart and soul" is kind of sickening to me.

Im not sure what experiences the two of you had with sXe, but apparently they where negative. I also know that alot of people know nothing more about sXe other than what they've seen on tv. Which usually only shows the negative aspects of it, and the dickheads that give it a bad name.

To the OP, sorry for going off topic, and good luck with everything.

Two things related to my experience that I think should be added in here; first, I wouldn't say I had a negative experience. It was a decision I made at one point which I changed as my thoughts and opinions on that decision developed over time. I think it was positive for me at the time and my decision to change was positive as well. Doesn't mean it's right for everyone, just was for me. Second, you're entirely correct that some people might misunderstand what straight edge is based on what they seen or experienced or what they haven't. Same can be said for a small number of asshats giving something a bad name. This is true any system of beliefs/opinions/religions/etc. I actually never considered myself straight edge and still wouldn't; I just didn't partake in somethings that others around me did because that's what I wanted. Not to get all hippster here, but I don't like being pigeonholed into some labeled group. If others want to consider themselves part of a group, go ahead, not my place to say otherwise as long as you don't step on someone else's toes.

It's great that this worked for you and left what sounds like was a bad place for you. And continued vibes to Dirt.

 

[DHPeteinSC]

Dirt, how you holdin up dude? This is my first Christmas without the lady, and it sucks!!!

 

[DirtMcGirk]

Still sober, still hitting the gym five days a week, still seeing my head shrinker.

Gotta be honest, this holiday can suck me. Between the happy couples, the booze flowing, and all of the "cheer" all I want to do is ride my board and watch movies. I've sort of gone hermit/pariah.

But I am hanging in. Keep rolling with it, right?

 

[jimmydean]

Keep rolling, Dirt.