[chicodude]

Most well thought out joke on the planet, or horrible sign of the mother****ing apocalypse?

Ill let you decide...

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=45427

Pure GOLD!

 

[chicodude]

I was at the Tax Day Tea Party today, brandishing my B. HITLERSEIN OBAMA IS A RACIST NAZI!!!! sign and thinking I couldn't possibly feel more outraged when I noticed my niece Brandi (my sister claimed to have an "appointment" and Brandi has been suspended from school (being a lazy papist, my sister refuses to homeschool her daughter) so I agreed to take her) had a new iPod. Knowing this troubled young unsaved trash girl's history with the devil's music, I ripped it from her hands and listened to the junk coming from the ear pieces.
Sure enough, it was hardcore rock and roll. A "singer", according to the information on the player's screen, named Justin Bieber.
Grabbing Brandi by the arm, I hauled her out of there (sorry I had to leave so early, fellow teabaggers) and back to the Whitford estate. Locking her in the guest prayer closet, I powered up the computer, called my husband - Mr. Whitford - to explain the situation so he could remotely log into JesOS and unlock the search engine to allow my Godly investigation, said a prayer and started looking around the internet for information on this Bieber person.

What I found has shocked me to my very core.

Justin Bieber is no ordinary rock and roller bent on raging against God. No, he is nothing less than a tool of the homosexual agenda whose sole purpose is to drive our young girls from a righteous existence as help meets for their future husbands and convert them into radical feminazi bulldykes.
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Did I mention this is gold....

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

Awesome

Jacking off for Jesus

 

[Beef Supreme]

Awesome

Jacking off for Jesus

Pure awesomeness.

Extra LOLs for the Self-Rape tag.

 

[sanjuro]

Wha??

 

[H8R]

Holy.
Sh1t.

Literally.


We are entering the new Dark Ages. Mark my words.

 

[Ciaran]

That site has got to be a joke. If it isn't then those people should be locked up in mental institutions.

My avatar weeps

 

[eaterofdog]

Is eaterofdog going to have to troll a bitch?

edit: eaterofchrist is registered.

 

[Pesqueeb]

From wikipedia, so take it for what its worth.

The site was created by Chris Harper, who obtained his Master's Degree in English Literature from George Mason University in 1993 after being expelled from Liberty University (founded by Jerry Falwell) in 1989 for producing a satirical radio show which Liberty's administration found offensive. Harper frequently appears at atheist conventions playing the character of "Pastor Deacon Fred Smith". The website is owned by a company called Americhrist, Ltd.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landover_Baptist_Church

The "church "homepage is totally LOL inducing.

 

[eaterofdog]

Okay, I'm looking at this and trolling here would be like playing one on one with Jordan.

 

[binary visions]

Not to dampen your spirits, but Landover Baptist is a long-standing parody site. It's been around for years.

Here's one of the actual religious sites raging against LB:

http://objectiveministries.org/shutdown/

Things we can do:
Prayer. It is our best weapon against the anti-Christian forces.
...
If none of this works, we must inform the authorities of this obvious instance of anti-Christian hate crime, which is illegal in most areas. If it isn't illegal, we must pressure our congressmen to make it so!

The anti-site is almost as funny as the actual site

edit: after looking at that anti-site more, that looks like a spoof too. Holy crap, the internet is a weird place.

 

[binary visions]

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=50988

 

[kidwoo]

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0601/circumcise.html

 

[stevew]

Wha??

i guess you read this....

I really don't think people realize nor appreciate the time and money spent on getting this VITAL program up and running. Professor Bessemer and Brother Jedediah were even doing overnighters together to pull this off. I know that Brother Jedediah pulled off 1+ 1/2 quarts in just a short time himself and frankly, from what I heard, he was like a hose watering a garden. Fortunately at that time we were using sillicone troughs so there was no spillage whatsoever.

did peter north change his name?

 

[kidwoo]

Betty Bowers still kills it.

I found myself shopping for rings the other day and I just wasn't clear on how to go about the whole thing.

YouTube - MrsBettyBowers's Channel

 

[Fool]

Mods, please add "no masturbating" smilie.

 

[Pesqueeb]

Mods, please add "no masturbating" smilie.

Seconded.

 

[eaterofdog]

Dear eaterofchrist,

You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forums.

Reason: Vain Repeater
-------
First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed HERE. Please contact a Pastor immediately if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here uninvited, and unwelcome .
-------

This infraction is worth 1000 point(s) and may result in restricted access until it expires. Serious infractions will never expire.

Original Post:
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=640949
Quote:
THIS IS A GREAT THREAD! IT'S AMAZING TO SEE SO MANY SMART PEOPLE GET TOGETHER AND SHARE IDEAS. THE STUPID SCIENTIST THINK THEY ARE SO SMART BECAUSE THEY LAUNCHED THE MODERN AGE. ALL KNOWLEDGE NEEDED BY THE HUMAN RACE IS IN TEH BIBLE!

IF YOU TAKE A MARBLE AND PUT IN ON A BASKETBALL, THE MARBLE ROLLS OFF. IF YOU PUT A MARBLE ON THE GROUND, THE MARBLE JUST SITS THERE. SO IT'S OBVIOUS THE EARTH IS FLAT! I JUST FALCON PUNCHED A SCIENTIST. BAM!! HOPEFULLY A FORIEGN SCIENTIST!!!
All the best,
The Landover Baptist Church Forums

Is it real? There's a sh1tton of crazies in there posting and I think a few expert trolls. Did this start off as a parody and get taken over because it appealed certain people so much?

 

[kidwoo]

No dude.....it's definitely not 'real'


They just have.......how should we say.........'standards'

 

[Ciaran]

Holee fvck. If that is a parody site then someone has way too much time on their hands. (Or many people)

 

[Secret Squirrel]

Holee fvck. If that is a parody site then someone has way too much time on their hands. (Or many people)

Well....it is the internet...