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Stupid Quotes From Work

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by stinkyboy, Aug 25, 2005.

  1. stinkyboy

    stinkyboy Plastic Santa

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    I'll go first.

    I slink into the break room to retrieve my chicken parm lunch from this great little Italian joint that one of the broads I work with ran to for lunch just in time to overhear: "They even make their own olives" I pause, to enjoy the uncomfortable silence in the room, and realize there will be no correction...
     

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  2. Secret Squirrel

    Secret Squirrel There is no Justice!

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    That's awesome.....

    Here's one:

    This woman asks me if I could do this pretty simple job for her. I say as long as she submits the proper paperwork for it, I can. There's a looooong silence. Then she tells me that since we downsized she lost her assistant and that she doesn't know how to fill out the forms (Web-based submission). I told her that there was a tutorial about it that she *should've* attended back when the system came online, and that she could find it on our corporate intranet site. She looked at me incredulously and said that she "doesn't have time for that sh*t" and that "I should just do the job" while she waits.

    Best part in 3...2...1... My boss wanted to talk to me about something so he was standing behind her the entire time!!! My boss (Head of office admin and tech) then says "I don't think that that was appropriate." She just about faints and storms off muttering "I'll do this my f*ckin' self then. F*ck you guys...." blah blah blah..... Needless to say, she no longer works here....it was a good day!!
     
  3. ThePriceSeliger

    ThePriceSeliger Mushhead

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    Oh oh I got one.

    I started a job at our LBS, and I worked for two weeks, and while the boss was handing out paychecks, he looks at me, and says, "Your working for store credit right, because I havn't been keeping track of your hours." When I applied for the job, I told him everything, and filled out all the papers with all that important stuff on it, and he refused to pay me. To this day, I havn't gotten payed!
     
  4. dh girlie

    dh girlie MISS MISSY (geek)

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    Oh that is just bs...what if you need money to go get your hayer cut!
     
  5. hooples3

    hooples3 Fuggetaboutit!

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    In my younger years i was manager of a sporting good store... i asked this 18 yr old cashier girl to go down and ask the shipping manager for left-handed footballs.... you should have seen his face
     
  6. Trainwreck

    Trainwreck Turbo Monkey

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    Me: "Helpdesk..."

    User: "Yes, my computer is chirping like a bird."

    Me: "Did you try shutting down the PC?"

    User: "Yeah, but it's still chirping."

    I walk into his office and see a smoke detector with the low battery light flashing directly above his computer. I returned with a 9V battery, dropped it on his desk and left.
     
  7. dh girlie

    dh girlie MISS MISSY (geek)

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    This isn't really a quote but something very funny that happened at work...this guy installed a sound byte on this chicks computer of a belch while she was away from her desk and instead of her computer bleeping when it needed to bleep, it would make a belch sound, but she didn't have the volume up that high so she thought there was something up with her computer...this was a long time ago before we had very computer savvy people on hand and they ended up taking it to a computer repair place only to find out it was a belch sound byte! HAHAHA! Dude got in so much trouble...
     
  8. chicodude

    chicodude The Spooninator

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    Bike parts are a good payment.
     
  9. Bushwhacker

    Bushwhacker Turbo Monkey

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    I was in Raleigh after hurricane Fran doing treework. So, we are on this job taking about 10 pines of a house, we get the last one on the ground and I come out of the tree I was tied into. I'm standing there in my climbing gear, chainsaw in one hand....climbing line in the other and this lady from next door come up and asks me "Sir, do you take trees down?". I turned, looked her dead in the eye and said "No maam, we put them back up!" and walked away.