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The army is getting DESPERATE

pixelninja

pixelninja

Turbo Monkey
Jun 14, 2003
2,131
0
Denver, CO
I assume that everyone here has read about how the US army recruiters aren't reaching their goals lately.

Last night, my wife and I are sitting around after putting our daughter to bed and the phone rings. I answer and a man asks to speak with my wife (asks for her by name). I hand the phone to my wife who listens for a few seconds then busts out laughing. She exclaims, "I'm married, I have a child and I'm pregnant!"

She hangs up, looks at me with this expression of disbelief and says, "That was an army recruiter."

These guys have got to be desperate if they're trying to recruit married pregnant 30-year-olds. Sheesh.
 
Damn True

Damn True

Monkey Pimp
Sep 10, 2001
4,015
3
Between a rock and a hard place.
I can't think of a more ruthless and vicious creature than a woman with a sore back and breasts.

A regiment of pregnant women would be unstoppable. All we'd have to do is tell them that the enemy said they are looking fat.
 
Ciaran

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,841
19
So Cal
Damn True said:
I can't think of a more ruthless and vicious creature than a woman with a sore back and breasts.

A regiment of pregnant women would be unstoppable. All we'd have to do is tell them that the enemy said they are looking fat.
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HAHAHAHA! That was great. And so true! :thumb:
 
H8R

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
Damn True said:
I can't think of a more ruthless and vicious creature than a woman with a sore back and breasts.

A regiment of pregnant women would be unstoppable. All we'd have to do is tell them that the enemy said they are looking fat.
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And then the enemy blows them all, mothers and children, to smithereens with a road-side bomb.

Yeah that's hilarious.
 
pixelninja

pixelninja

Turbo Monkey
Jun 14, 2003
2,131
0
Denver, CO
Damn True said:
I can't think of a more ruthless and vicious creature than a woman with a sore back and breasts.

A regiment of pregnant women would be unstoppable. All we'd have to do is tell them that the enemy said they are looking fat.
Click to expand...
HAHAHAHAHA!!! That's classic!
 
reflux

reflux

Turbo Monkey
Mar 18, 2002
4,617
2
G14 Classified
There was an interesting article that I read on nytimes.com maybe a month or two ago about army recruiters. I don't feel like finding it right now, but I definitely suggest spending a few minutes to find and read it.
 
mobius

mobius

Turbo Monkey
Jan 25, 2003
2,158
0
Around DC
dh girlie said:
Didn't they try to lure recruits with videos of the dessert storm guys scaring the enemy with Slayer? Or was that a Beavis and Butthead episode? :think:
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I cant remember where thats from but i know what you are talking about.
 
Bldr_DH

Bldr_DH

Monkey
Aug 8, 2003
762
0
NO BO CO
There was something with recruiters in Golden, CO... A highschool student was doing a project to see how easily he could get into the military. He told the recruiters he was an drug abuser, etc. (He was an A student, didn't do drugs or anything... he just made this stuff up to make him as "undesirable" to the military as possible). Well, it turns out, the recruiters actually helped buy the kid something that would "get the drugs out of his system." They did all sorts of things like that just to help reach their quota. It was amazing how far they went just to get this kid into the military -- WAY, WAY beyond what they were supposed to/allowed to do.

I'm pretty sure the story went national... There was a big investigation on the recruitment stations and their methods.
 
B

Beyr

Monkey
May 14, 2004
320
0
Santa Cruz Mountains/San Luis Obispo
Bldr_Freerider said:
There was something with recruiters in Golden, CO... A highschool student was doing a project to see how easily he could get into the military. He told the recruiters he was an drug abuser, etc. (He was an A student, didn't do drugs or anything... he just made this stuff up to make him as "undesirable" to the military as possible).
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Not only that, but the kid said he had dropped out of High School and the recrutiers got him a fake diploma :think:
 
pixelninja

pixelninja

Turbo Monkey
Jun 14, 2003
2,131
0
Denver, CO
Bldr_Freerider said:
There was something with recruiters in Golden, CO... A highschool student was doing a project to see how easily he could get into the military. He told the recruiters he was an drug abuser, etc. (He was an A student, didn't do drugs or anything... he just made this stuff up to make him as "undesirable" to the military as possible). Well, it turns out, the recruiters actually helped buy the kid something that would "get the drugs out of his system." They did all sorts of things like that just to help reach their quota. It was amazing how far they went just to get this kid into the military -- WAY, WAY beyond what they were supposed to/allowed to do.

I'm pretty sure the story went national... There was a big investigation on the recruitment stations and their methods.
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Yeah, it was all over the news here. Here's a link:

http://news4colorado.com/siteSearch/local_story_131131244.html
 
pnj

pnj

Turbo Monkey till the fat lady sings
Aug 14, 2002
4,696
40
seattle
they gunna git the draft goin' again.

all you youngin's gunna be called up. plus, they will be shutting down the borders, so no running to canada or mexico.
 
Discostu

Discostu

Monkey
Nov 15, 2003
524
0
The recruiter in my town helped a friend of mine pass the drug test to get him in the navy.
 
Bldr_DH

Bldr_DH

Monkey
Aug 8, 2003
762
0
NO BO CO
Jestere said:
Not only that, but the kid said he had dropped out of High School and the recrutiers got him a fake diploma :think:
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Yeah, that's what it was... I knew I was missing something.

Gah, god forbid they reinstate the draft. I'm gonna need to become an official quaker.
 
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