How many times have you seen or heard a "I have never <fill in the blank> in my life" statement made as a cover for inexperience, silliness or stupidity?Polandspring88 said:
OK,
s, let's hear them.The "I have never <XXXXXXX> in my life" thread
- Thread starter johnbryanpeters
- Start date
OK,
s, let's hear them.
That actually isnt as stupid as it sounds. Never pinch flatted in the what, 10 years I've been riding. Went one ride without a tube and look what I get. Could be worse, I could have been without water.
I have never played a Strat I liked in my life.
I have never had a smelly fart in my life.
I have never been as funny as I am right now in my life.
I have never had a smelly fart in my life.
I have never been as funny as I am right now in my life.
I have never posted in this thread
I have never shoped at Walmart(and I don't plan to)
I have never shoped at Walmart(and I don't plan to)
I have never cooked my foot in a microwave oven.
I have never banged a fat chick or drove a moped in my life
I have never taken over a small 3rd world country.
Did he at least give you a reach-around?pnj said:
pnj said:
...
...
I thought this was a thread about things you've never done.....llkoolkeg said:
*now that I go back and actually READ the rest of the first post....
: I see it says "...as a statement made as a cover for inexperience, silliness or stupidity?"
::::::uh... I can't think of anything that I've use that statement for...
"I have never hit my head even once while riding."
This statement preceeded a stupid, helmetless wreck that resulted in my head swelling up and my hair falling out in a patch.
Ahhhh, foolish youth...
This statement preceeded a stupid, helmetless wreck that resulted in my head swelling up and my hair falling out in a patch.
Ahhhh, foolish youth...
doed he know men dressed up like girls still count as menpnj said:
I have never in my life been hunted by a cyborg sent from the future to kill me because I will one day lead the human revolution against a race of cyborg robots that became self-sufficient and want to rule the world.
I have never eaten at wendys. every other fast food place ive gone but never a wendys
I have never gotten in a fist fight
that's not how the drinking game "never have i ever" works: you say something you haven't done, and if someone in the group _has_ done it, they drink (and everyone knows). thus y'all should be e-drinking to my back seat post, for instance.pnj said:I thought this was a thread about things you've never done.....
*now that I go back and actually READ the rest of the first post....
I see it says "...as a statement made as a cover for inexperience, silliness or stupidity?"
uh... I can't think of anything that I've use that statement for...
I have never killed a man with a Tic Tac.
damnit if i was following the rules i would be drinkingWesty said:
Never have I ever pedal kicked across the cubicle walls only to drop in the last one on the left and hook up with the hot intern.
i have never worn a yellow jersey at the tour de france.
I'm sorry, but without the alcohol, ganj and loose women, "I never" as a game shucks pole.
I have never eaten a Jack and the Box.
And I am ashamed to admit that I've never been to Europe.
And I am ashamed to admit that I've never been to Europe.
"I've never seen any cops on this road."
This led to a speeding ticket and a trip to the court house.
This led to a speeding ticket and a trip to the court house.
lucky...I Are Baboon said:
king missile has a few things to say about this one:
No I never was in vietnam
I never once dove into an empty swimming pool
I never let the carpet walk right out from under me
I never painted a house or a tree
I never did become an exotic dancer or a customer service representative
I never took the pulse of a dying duck
Or gave mouth to mouth resuscitation to a horsefly
In a way I suppose you could say my experience is quite limited
For example,
I never locked Oliver Cromwell in a broom closet while singing Waltzing
Matilda
I never sawed a television in half
Although I once saw Wendy O'Williams saw a guitar
I never played a decent game of jacks
I never played poker with a toothless one eyed pirate who kept picking his
teeth with a bowie knife to distract me while his parrot looked over my
shoulder and told him what cards I had by using an elaborate code involving
vomiting, chirping and sea shanties
I never bought a lamp
Wait I did buy a lamp once
But I never bought a lantern or a lambskin prophylactic
I never bought lima beans or lime pudding
I never bought a lion or a Lionel Richie album
I never bought anything beginning with the letter "L"
Except lollipops, lightbulbs and lettuce ... and the lamp
I never layed down for a nap and found the Everly brotehrs in bed with me
I never let a cyborg take out the garbage
I'm sorry I stole the radio
I did it
I sawed the legs off the periodic table
I re-elected the President
I did it, it was my fault
I farted in the church
I'm sorry I did many many bad things
And I am so sorry
No I never was in vietnam
I never once dove into an empty swimming pool
I never let the carpet walk right out from under me
I never painted a house or a tree
I never did become an exotic dancer or a customer service representative
I never took the pulse of a dying duck
Or gave mouth to mouth resuscitation to a horsefly
In a way I suppose you could say my experience is quite limited
For example,
I never locked Oliver Cromwell in a broom closet while singing Waltzing
Matilda
I never sawed a television in half
Although I once saw Wendy O'Williams saw a guitar
I never played a decent game of jacks
I never played poker with a toothless one eyed pirate who kept picking his
teeth with a bowie knife to distract me while his parrot looked over my
shoulder and told him what cards I had by using an elaborate code involving
vomiting, chirping and sea shanties
I never bought a lamp
Wait I did buy a lamp once
But I never bought a lantern or a lambskin prophylactic
I never bought lima beans or lime pudding
I never bought a lion or a Lionel Richie album
I never bought anything beginning with the letter "L"
Except lollipops, lightbulbs and lettuce ... and the lamp
I never layed down for a nap and found the Everly brotehrs in bed with me
I never let a cyborg take out the garbage
I'm sorry I stole the radio
I did it
I sawed the legs off the periodic table
I re-elected the President
I did it, it was my fault
I farted in the church
I'm sorry I did many many bad things
And I am so sorry
I have never seen a man eat his own head
I've never read a duller thread... bring back the limericks!!!
douglas said:
THAT, my dear sir, is a lie!
I have never slept with both a girl and her mother, yet 
THAT, my dear sir, is a lie!Curb Hucker said:I have never slept with both a girl and her mother, yet
Shat dude, even after you spell out the f'n rules, still nobody gets it.Toshi said:
Never have I ever done it in the driver's seat (but it's on my list).
I told a girl that I have never seen a pierced nipple in real liffe
2seconds later I saw hers.
2seconds later I saw hers.
i have never bought biking specific clothing or shoes
I have never eaten brussellsprouts, nor do I plan too.