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The "I Have Zero Faith In Humanity" Thread

jimmydean

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
41,188
13,339
Portland, OR
Hipster laundry

Owner Ariana Roviello decided to open Laundré because “typical laundromats aren’t spaces you want to be in,” she told us.

To combat this, Laundré will pair the chore of laundry with a fully equipped coffee shop, offering Sightglass roasts, local baked goods and prepackaged rice bowls and salads.
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Pesqueeb

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
40,316
16,773
Riding the baggage carousel.
jimmydean said:
Hipster laundry
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""SIR. We do not carry zis "Tide" you speak of. At Laundré, your clothes are gently guided through a freshwater pond, given a cucumber water rinse and zen fluffed by ze finest immigrants we could find that would accept less zan ze minimum wage. At the end, your precious garments are briefly flown through a cloud of our signature, proprietary Healing Mist, imbuing your clothes with an effervescent scent that will keep your friends and coworkers guessing. Is it Peppermint? Is it Pumpkin Spice? Is it Shoe Leather? NON. It is LAUNDRÉ."

:rofl:
 
jimmydean

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
41,188
13,339
Portland, OR
Jm_ said:
Will obviously fail. Most people I've seen in SF don't wash clothes.
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When was the last time you visited? With $3k a month rent (I think the rent in this building is close to that), the hippies have been displaced by 30somthing techies in startup shirts. You would think that at $3k a month you would have laundry facilities included, but nope.
 
JohnE

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
13,443
1,969
Front Range, dude...
syadasti

syadasti

i heart mac
Apr 15, 2002
12,690
290
VT
Essential oil scams with the sick: http://www.chadhayesmd.com/essential-oils-are-a-poor-choice-for-asthma-and-a-few-other-things/

The grandmother couldn’t figure out what had happened, but it soon became clear: as part of her cleaning efforts, she had sprayed some Febreze on his bed. The minute he climbed into the sheets, his airways clamped down and he couldn’t breathe.

For many children, asthma is mild. It may act up only at certain times of the year, and sometimes the symptoms aren’t that bad. But it’s not at all uncommon to admit them to the hospital. And asthma kills over 3,000 Americans every year. Different people have different sets of triggers. Sometimes asthma is set off by viral infections, pollen, exposure to animals, or exercise. Asthma can also be triggered by “volatile organic compounds,” one example of which would be essential oils. Advising parents to treat asthma by diffusing essential oils is dangerous and irresponsible, and it demonstrates a tremendous lack of understanding about the disease.
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Sandro

Sandro

Terrified of Cucumbers
Nov 12, 2006
3,224
2,537
The old world
Sandro said:
Douchenozzles bombed my favorite soccerball team's bus last night.

I wonder what will happen when this scum finally manages to hit a major sports event. It's not the first encounter with terrorism for some, two of Dortmund's players were playing for Germany in the Stade de France in Paris last year, one of the intended target of the November attacks (the attackers blew themselves up in front of the stadium since they couldn't get in).
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Not that anyone cares, but the update to this story offers some new kind of depravity: For once it wasn't the mooselambs, but a single guy who intended to get rich by buying options on the club's stock crashing and then killing as many players as possible.

The idiot bought the options online from the very hotel the team bus left from, triggered the explosives from his room (after having rejected a room that didn't have good view of the road) and continued to calmly have a steak and a massage while everybody else was panicking.
 
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