[DirtMcGirk]

Had a busy day today at the little office I rent space in these days. Lots of people coming in and out, me throwing a hippy out on his ear for wanting to use our computer, our fax, and the long distance phone for free so we could "give back" by letting him mooch.

(by the way, there is nothing funnier than looking some "organic farmer" in the eye and telling him "If you don't leave, I'll mace you with Lysol..." It was classic)

But then the unthinkable happened sometime while I was grabbing lunch.

The Phantom Sh!tter (also known as Return of the Brown Eye) struck.

It wasn't the vegan hippy as it smelt too bad, and it was well before he came in. But someone, and as god as my witness I am going to find out who, came in and unleashed hell all over the one toilet in the place. Nuts, chunks of bacon, all sorts of things I think are used and returned mac and cheese, and it smelled like someone slaughtered an entire Somali village in there.

If it wasn't where I needed to drop off some used Thai food, I would have thought this was the funniest strike ever. However, like Nancy Kerrigan said "why god, why?!?!?"

So wrong I had to call the special unit of the janitorial group we use. It still smells like someone crapped a whole five day dead grandma back there.

 

[johnbryanpeters]

This has to be karma in operation.

 

[w00dy]

Cat turd wrapped in burnt hair?

Did it set off the fire alarm?

 

[I Are Baboon]

Does it smell like Bigfoot's dick?

 

[DirtMcGirk]

Dunno, never smelt big foot's unit.

However, imagine what it would smell like if you dipped a cat in curry, set it on fire, ate it, shat it, lit it on fire again, and then put it out with the sweat from big foot's unit. Yea, that's what the back of my office smells like...

 

[sanjuro]

Paging kidwoo to the bathroom...

 

[Al C. Oholic]

someone in your office is "giving back" after all...

 

[jonKranked]

why does dirt have an office?

 

[DirtMcGirk]

Gotta play lawyer somewhere. Looks sketchy doing it in my garage.

 

[sanjuro]

The Phantom Sh!tter landed in my orifice

Fixed

 

[TheTruth]

From my analysis, the main idea here is that your office bathroom smells like **** and you are unhappy about it.

My solution; confront the phantom "****ter" and address the problem to his face, with a bag your own ****. While you do that you yell, "Eat sh!t! You freeloading B!tch!"

 

[bizutch]

Sounds like one of Kenan's employees took a trip to see you.

 

[jdcamb]

Next time I'm in Reno I will use your doorstep...... Sorry about that....

 

[Konabumm]

any leads on the Phantom Sh!tter

 

[CrabJoe StretchPants]

It wasn't the vegan hippy as it smelt too bad,

Have you ever smelled vegan poop, or even vegan farts?!?!?

 

[goofy]

Have you ever smelled vegan poop, or even vegan farts?!?!?

There was a hipster vegan that worked at the shop I work at, and 1 day he stunk so bad I took a can of lysol air freshener and sprayed him from head to toe. Which pissed him off to no end. I still get a chuckle when I think of it.

 

[mandown]

why does dirt have an office?

 

[boogenman]

The best is when you go into a bathroom and find the $hit next to the toilet.

 

[bizutch]

Have you ever smelled vegan poop, or even vegan farts?!?!?

true story...a girl with Lupus that worked the front desk of the gym I managed ate a special vegan diet. Owner and senior manager had to pull her aside to discuss a cease fire. Repugnant.

 

[DirtMcGirk]

No leads as of yet. but I did put up a note in the sh!tter telling the phantom napalmer that I would have my divine retribution.

 

[sanjuro]

Hint:

 

[shredables]

that is some foul ****