i hate when people talk about their "spirit animals". that's a stepping stone to essential oils and chakra crystals. my spirit animal is telling people to shut the fuck up about their spirit animals.
the random thought thread
- Thread starter skinny mike
- Start date
Don't like it? Turn your hearing aids down.
I dreamed my bike had a kickstand. It...was...horrible I tell you.
There’s no anguish like the anguish of flushing a toilet in a public bathroom, watching it clog and being able to do nothing about the slow, inevitable march of toilet water to the top of the bowl.
Even though I have rode the trainer, did the pool laps at the JCC. Reached my Sit up and Push up goals. I still seem to have limited endurance. This concerns me. I have plans...
Overview
A family of machines specializing in cleaning up after Homo Sapiens.
General goals
1. Remove trash and tacky visual clutter.
2. Encourage unfettered movement of wildlife.
3. Chastise clotpolls.
Disposal standard
· Organic, rock, and earthen matter to be scattered
· Glass and concrete to be ground back to sand and gravel and scattered
· Compacted into Standard Bricks (SBs):
o Metal
· Plastic and other hydrocarbon based materials: Consumed as fuel using a zero emissions catalytic process
Bricking standard
1 kg square bricks.
Robots
Reverentor
Identifies, photodocuments, and shreds roadside shrines, advertising, and billboards, including religious, political, and warfare iconography, and military and police equipment and infrastructure.
Parkingtrainor
Using a CO2 laser, slices of portions of parked vehicles that go outside of marked parking space, are on sidewalk, or blocking pedestrian walkway, road, or driveway. Suppresses any resultant combustion, separates, compacts and bricks (SCBs) removed sections. SCBs double-parked vehicles as specified above.
Eliminator
Shreds and SCBs ricers with fart cans and good old boy pickups, leaving driver seated and confused on roadside.
Defencor
Identifies, removes, and SCBs wire fencing and associated gates and cattle guards.
Daminator
Starting from the sea, breaches dams, dykes, and levees. Does so at the rate of one a year. Clones itself when it encounters a tributary. Recognizes and leaves undisturbed natural barriers, e.g. beaver dams.
A family of machines specializing in cleaning up after Homo Sapiens.
General goals
1. Remove trash and tacky visual clutter.
2. Encourage unfettered movement of wildlife.
3. Chastise clotpolls.
Disposal standard
· Organic, rock, and earthen matter to be scattered
· Glass and concrete to be ground back to sand and gravel and scattered
· Compacted into Standard Bricks (SBs):
o Metal
· Plastic and other hydrocarbon based materials: Consumed as fuel using a zero emissions catalytic process
Bricking standard
1 kg square bricks.
Robots
Reverentor
Identifies, photodocuments, and shreds roadside shrines, advertising, and billboards, including religious, political, and warfare iconography, and military and police equipment and infrastructure.
Parkingtrainor
Using a CO2 laser, slices of portions of parked vehicles that go outside of marked parking space, are on sidewalk, or blocking pedestrian walkway, road, or driveway. Suppresses any resultant combustion, separates, compacts and bricks (SCBs) removed sections. SCBs double-parked vehicles as specified above.
Eliminator
Shreds and SCBs ricers with fart cans and good old boy pickups, leaving driver seated and confused on roadside.
Defencor
Identifies, removes, and SCBs wire fencing and associated gates and cattle guards.
Daminator
Starting from the sea, breaches dams, dykes, and levees. Does so at the rate of one a year. Clones itself when it encounters a tributary. Recognizes and leaves undisturbed natural barriers, e.g. beaver dams.
At both 44.474148, -73.142464 and 44.474148, -73.142464 there are three-bay bunkers that, when I arrived here, were reputed to store nuclear weapons. I wonder what's in them now.
You put the same coordinates twice, unless Burlington International Airport has one bunker on top of another.
Yeah, I fucked up. Look at the aerial views - both bunkers are proximate and clearly evident.
I practice the Williston Approach knowing I will never be able to land there...
Hookers and blow?
- Well I guess if I had to swear one way or another, I'd say Lazlo wasn't insane. He just had very strange rhythms. But he stomped on the terra. Lord Buckley said that. It's hard to say he got what he deserved, because he never really got anything, at least not in this story. And right now, this story is all we have ... It's sad. But what's really sad is it never got weird enough for me. I moved to the country when the boat got too crowded. Then I learned that President Nixon had been eaten by white cannibals on an island near Tijuana for no good reason at all. Golly, you hear a lot of savage and unnatural things about people these days. Lazlo and Nixon are both gone now, but I don't think I'm going to believe that 'til I can gnaw on their skulls with my very own teeth. Fuck those people, huh? If they're out there, I'm going to find them, and I'm going to gnaw on their skulls. Because it still hasn't gotten weird enough for me.
Why do I race? It's not to win trophies. It's not for the podium. It's not for the comradery. It's not for the speed. It's not for the workout. It's not to meet women (mostly). It's not to fight depression. It's not to get away from people at work. It's not to get into nature. It's not for the challenge of the course. It's for the free socks.
Did you know that if you sit on the toilet at 11:59pm and the clock strikes midnight then it is literally the same sh!t different day.
You know the traffic situation in Boston is beyond bad when articles like this get published: https://boston.cbslocal.com/2019/05/14/boston-traffic-so-bad-it-has-become-a-public-safety-hazard/
Can't wait to move back.
That's where you're planning on ending up after the funemployment?Can't wait to move back.
Pro-tip: don't do that
Moving into the in-laws garage so we can save some money for the next phase of life.That's where you're planning on ending up after the funemployment?
Pro-tip: don't do that
That's where you're planning on ending up after the funemployment?
Pro-tip: don't do that
Boston is a hell hole.
air shows on acid are really fucking intense then its over & you are all jazzed so you think its a good idea to swim out to the sand bar but at the sand bar the under tow is so strong & you are so spun that you dont realize you are being swept out to sea & you dont realize all the sparkling beneath your now suspended feet is a giant school of fish, then next thing you know you are being fished out of the Gulf of Mexico by a Blackhawk & being taken to the naval air station in Pensacola.
I have killed many things by taking them apart and futzing with them needlessly.
Why did the bidet never make it over here? Seems like washing your bum post poop makes an awful lot more sense than smearing and smashing your poopy butt repeatedly with special ass paper until it comes away clean.
My wife: My foot hurts because I dropped an ice pack on it this morning.
Me: That's ironic because normally ice packs are used to make you feel better.
My wife:
#dadjokelevel100
Me: That's ironic because normally ice packs are used to make you feel better.
My wife:
#dadjokelevel100
It kind of bothers me when I run into old friends and they are surprised I am still alive. It fucks with me actually. I somehow have lost my professional status?
If money can't buy you happiness, how do you explain Mt Bikes and Beer?
I was kidnapped when I was 7 years old & it was a wonderful experience.
And also how I discovered the Grateful Dead.
I wont bore you with too many details but I was kidnapped when I was seven & spent 4 days traveling in a van with my captors who happened to be dead heads.
This was 1986 & I will always remember that because it was the year the Challenger exploded. We never made it further than Georgia before they let me go. I still don't know how they were convinced to let me go by the authorities, but I was sad to leave.
They drove around TN, AL & GA while they tried to collect ransom from my middle class parents. The two men who captured me were constantly popping tapes in the van's tape deck, playing this spacey, melodic rock n roll & the songs went on forever. I still remember falling asleep missing my parents listening to what had to have been Dark Star if I had to guess.
I was never mistreated & got to eat McDonalds for all 3 meals almost everyday. They would tell me stories of traveling on their motorcycles to music festivals & the fights they would get in, and all the crazy stuff they had seen.
Years later, I recognized a sticker on a car. It was a stealie & the first place I had seen one was on the dash board of the van I spent 4 days in. Seeing a stealie to this day takes me straight back to that van. I can still smell the inside of that vehicle every time I see one.
I don't know if those two guys ever got caught, but if you are still out there, thanks. That music & those 4 days changed my life.
And also how I discovered the Grateful Dead.
I wont bore you with too many details but I was kidnapped when I was seven & spent 4 days traveling in a van with my captors who happened to be dead heads.
This was 1986 & I will always remember that because it was the year the Challenger exploded. We never made it further than Georgia before they let me go. I still don't know how they were convinced to let me go by the authorities, but I was sad to leave.
They drove around TN, AL & GA while they tried to collect ransom from my middle class parents. The two men who captured me were constantly popping tapes in the van's tape deck, playing this spacey, melodic rock n roll & the songs went on forever. I still remember falling asleep missing my parents listening to what had to have been Dark Star if I had to guess.
I was never mistreated & got to eat McDonalds for all 3 meals almost everyday. They would tell me stories of traveling on their motorcycles to music festivals & the fights they would get in, and all the crazy stuff they had seen.
Years later, I recognized a sticker on a car. It was a stealie & the first place I had seen one was on the dash board of the van I spent 4 days in. Seeing a stealie to this day takes me straight back to that van. I can still smell the inside of that vehicle every time I see one.
I don't know if those two guys ever got caught, but if you are still out there, thanks. That music & those 4 days changed my life.
they're closer to the real thing than "miles" on an e-bike.
I was a stupid, naive, overly trusting kid.