[slimshady]

Just yesterday a work buddy was complaining about one of his best friends not being able to meet any women, simply because he puts his interests first, just like the guy in those screenshots. I'm going to show these to him, so he finally realizes douchebaggery is a global pandemic.

 

[HardtailHack]

Length = 2 * r * sin(θ/2)

So handy, now I know I have a 3" penis, maybe I don't need a Dodge RAM after all.

 

[gonefirefightin]

If you tea bag someone with a nut allergy, thats attempted murder.

Follow me for more recipes

 

[gonefirefightin]

Plastic toy dinosaurs are actually real dinosaurs, hear me out.....

Dino dies
Dino bones decay
Fossil fuels develop
Fossil fuels extracted for petroleum
Petroleum products make plastic
Plastic dinos, they live for ever!

 

[Westy]

Plastic toy dinosaurs are actually real dinosaurs, hear me out.....

Dino dies
Dino bones decay
Fossil fuels develop
Fossil fuels extracted for petroleum
Petroleum products make plastic
Plastic dinos, they live for ever!

Sorry, petroleum came from the Carboniferous era, not the Mesozoic.

Dino nuggets on the other hand...

 

[canadmos]

View attachment 220076
View attachment 220077

LinkedIn has turned into the god damned wild west. Holy shit.

Sounds like the life of the party.

Also the auto comment reply things. I'd guess some people clicked those, without even reading what he wrote.

 

[canadmos]

Where does water come from at the top of a mountain?

 

[HardtailHack]

Where does water come from at the top of a mountain?

It's God's piss, he likes to melt the snow.

 

[canadmos]

It's God's piss, he likes to melt the snow.

It all makes sense now.

 

[Banshee_Rider@73]

If I ever choke with gummy bears, death certificate should say it was kill by bears and leave it at that.

 

[HardtailHack]

It all makes sense now.

I haven't heard that for a while.

 

[HardtailHack]

Being my boss would be difficult-
"Are you coming in tomorrow?"

Yes.

"What time"

Just after you need me.

Awaiting a reply.....

 

[eric strt6]

“A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most.”

 

[HardtailHack]

I miss the days when Epson made decent products.

 

[eric strt6]

When I snuggle with a woman in bed, I don't want to have sex, or talk...I just want to feel her warmth up against me...It helps me sleep...When she screams and asks how did I get into her house, it just ruins the moment

 

[Adventurous]

Why is it that all those "kids these days are always on their phones" people are the same people who are ALWAYS ON THEIR FUCKING PHONES.

 

[SkaredShtles]

Why is it that all those "kids these days are always on their phones" people are the same people who are ALWAYS ON THEIR FUCKING PHONES.

That's how it works, man...

 

[Banshee_Rider@73]

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

 

[johnbryanpeters]

"A tree is between 68.75 and 99.9 percent microbial, according to my calculations. That’s kind of mind-blowing, isn’t it? Trees are holobionts [assemblages of a host and the many microbial species living in or around them]. Much like we now recognize the importance of the gut microbiome in human health, we need to recognize the importance of microbes for forest health."

How to Grow a Forest: It Takes More Than Just Planting Trees

In an e360 interview, microbial ecologist Jake M. Robinson, of Australia’s Flinders University, takes a critical look at tree planting campaigns and discusses scientists’ varied approaches to both “planting” and “growing” forests to restore their ecological health.

e360.yale.edu

 

[canadmos]

I wish people would stop flicking their highbeams, when they try to warn ya about a cop up ahead.

I appreciate the heads up, but you're blinding me man.

I usually flash back, like a high five, if you will?

 

[SkaredShtles]

I wish people would stop flicking their highbeams, when they try to warn ya about a cop up ahead.

I appreciate the heads up, but you're blinding me man.

I usually flash back, like a high five, if you will?

Around here it's generally to warn of upcoming wildlife... I appreciate that warning, personally.

 

[canadmos]

Around here it's generally to warn of upcoming wildlife... I appreciate that warning, personally.

I just wish people would flick their fog lights or something instead. It's not helpful to see whatever they're warning of when you're temporarily blinded

 

[SkaredShtles]

I just wish people would flick their fog lights or something instead. It's not helpful to see whatever they're warning of when you're temporarily blinded

That's actually a decent idea. Or maybe briefly turn off/on the headlights?

 

[Banshee_Rider@73]

There are no bad ideas, just the lack of will to execute them.

 

[slimshady]

There are no bad ideas, just the lack of will to execute them.

I'd change that to "there are no bad ideas, if you don't mind their consequences"

 

[Banshee_Rider@73]

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost.

 

[HardtailHack]

People that put you on speaker phone without notifying you are the best.

Got a call today-- "Hey I've got you a new job."

'Where at?'

"XYZ In town"

'Nah, not workin' with those fuckin' idiots!'

“He can hear you. "

' Ah well.'

 

[HardtailHack]

Wow-

https://southpark.fandom.com/wiki/DVDA

 

[Banshee_Rider@73]

A kick in the nuts hurts more than labor pain, that's a fact.

 

[jonKranked]

People that put you on speaker phone without notifying you are the best.

Got a call today-- "Hey I've got you a new job."

'Where at?'

"XYZ In town"

'Nah, not workin' with those fuckin' idiots!'

“He can hear you. "

' Ah well.'

"that should save you some time conveying the message then, no?"

 

[jimmydean]

“Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery & all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered"

Babe Ruth

 

[SkaredShtles]

A kick in the nuts hurts more than labor pain, that's a fact.

I'm not exactly sure how you know this... but I'll take your word for it.

 

[Banshee_Rider@73]

I'm not exactly sure how you know this... but I'll take your word for it.

Men never never ask to be kicked in the nuts again (unless you’re from the Jackass cast) but women goes on “I like to have another baby”

 

[HardtailHack]

Sensodyne toothpaste tastes like mint mixed with cigar ash.

 

[mykel]

Just heard a Cybertruck being referred to as a Deplorean.

 

[gonefirefightin]

Weather alerts in the rest of the country, be like category 1, 2, 3 hurricanes, tropical storm winds at 60+ mph, flooding, power outages

A typical winter day on the Oregon coast

 

[Westy]

"A tree is between 68.75 and 99.9 percent microbial, according to my calculations. That’s kind of mind-blowing, isn’t it? Trees are holobionts [assemblages of a host and the many microbial species living in or around them]. Much like we now recognize the importance of the gut microbiome in human health, we need to recognize the importance of microbes for forest health."

How to Grow a Forest: It Takes More Than Just Planting Trees

In an e360 interview, microbial ecologist Jake M. Robinson, of Australia’s Flinders University, takes a critical look at tree planting campaigns and discusses scientists’ varied approaches to both “planting” and “growing” forests to restore their ecological health.

e360.yale.edu

Even with human, there are more cells of non-human species in one meat bag than human cells. Everything is a system of systems.

 

[johnbryanpeters]

Even with human, there are more cells of non-human species in one meat bag than human cells. Everything is a system of systems.

Yup.

 

[HardtailHack]

Even with human, there are more cells of non-human species in one meat bag than human cells. Everything is a system of systems.

Years back I got IV antibiotics for a few days and couldn't believe how long it took to get back to having normal gut function.
In hindsight there were most certainly a few things I could have done to get my good gut bacteria back to life.
At the time I had no idea about good bacteria.

 

[slimshady]

Even with human, there are more cells of non-human species in one meat bag than human cells. Everything is a system of systems.

IDK about this. I read a few days ago we carry about 1.5-2 kilograms of bacteria, mites and fungi throughout our days.