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the random thought thread

daisycutter

Turbo Monkey
Apr 8, 2006
1,689
178
New York City
make it stop, please make it stop. My mother in law is staying for the week and is watching every cornball xmas movie ever made for at least the 30th time and cackling at all the lame gags and scenes. My wife won't let me go out to the camper to hide.
Your starting to be white peoples problems poster child
 

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
41,793
19,103
Riding the baggage carousel.
Do you realize our children will never know the joys of a good anonymous prank phone call? Fvcking every bodies got caller ID now. A proxy or an unregistered number seems like a lot of work for a 13 year old to call someone and ask if their refrigerator is running. :(
 

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
20,046
8,767
Nowhere Man!
Do not use oven cleaner to clean your bong in the oven. The Fire dept will come, and shortly after that the Police. The Fire Dept let my Cat out. He was sitting on the porch when I came home thankfully.
 

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
20,046
8,767
Nowhere Man!
Today at work people were talking about **** for hours. Nothing I cared about. So I tuned them out. I did my work and went home. Getting Phugging paid!
 

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
20,046
8,767
Nowhere Man!
The other night this guy helped me get out of my driveway. Last night he was dumping garbage into our dumpster. For some reason I wrote his plate number down along with the time. When I got home the Police asked me if I saw anything last night. I gave them the plate # and time. About an hour later they called me on the phone and told me to look out my window to see if the guy in the back of the car was him. It was. I have no idea what happened....
 

$tinkle

Expert on blowing
Feb 12, 2003
14,591
6
I've always loved walking in the middle of the night when it's below freezing
I get my best thinking done then
 

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
20,046
8,767
Nowhere Man!
I live in the last driveway at the end of a long block. All the slushy mess that the plows push down the street ends up in my driveway and freezes in the 15 degree weather. The only thing I think about while chopping blocks of ice out of the end of my driveway... Is about going back inside.....
 

HardtailHack

used an iron once
Jan 20, 2009
7,722
7,073
HTC still advertise their phones with the time at 10:08, it doesn't make a digital clock look good, stop it!
 

$tinkle

Expert on blowing
Feb 12, 2003
14,591
6
when you say, "I want the chance to earn your business", might want to first give me quote based upon WHAT I JUST FKUCING TOLD YOU!!!
 

Jim Mac

MAKE ENDURO GREAT AGAIN
May 21, 2004
6,352
282
the middle east of NY
Sometimes when I am "listening" to my employees, I suddenly flash to the movie 'Repo Man' and internally yell, "Goddamn dipsh1t Rodriguez, Gypsy Dildo Punks!!"
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
22,041
12,732
I have no idea where I am
It's Gallery Hop night, so I have to do a lot of nodding and smiling and answering really stupid questions. Also I get to listen to people blather on and on about nothing. Reminds me of some of the incoherent posts on here, only in person and I can't click the mouse to make them go away. Communication is a dying art I'm afraid.
 

eric strt6

Resident Curmudgeon
Sep 8, 2001
24,356
15,103
directly above the center of the earth
It's Gallery Hop night, so I have to do a lot of nodding and smiling and answering really stupid questions. Also I get to listen to people blather on and on about nothing. Reminds me of some of the incoherent posts on here, only in person and I can't click the mouse to make them go away. Communication is a dying art I'm afraid.

next time bring a nerf bat to whack them upside their heads when they imitate PSP or Mooshu
 
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AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
22,041
12,732
I have no idea where I am
One idiot who couldn't form a complete sentence let alone a coherent thought managed to tell me his mind was out there somewhere as he pointed outside. It took great restraint to not suggest he follow it.
 

$tinkle

Expert on blowing
Feb 12, 2003
14,591
6
Why do some people think that if they keep rambling, they'll actually say something ?
On the subway today, a man came up to me to start a conversation. He made small talk, a lonely man talking about the weather and other things. I tried to be pleasant and accommodating, but my head hurt from his banality. I almost didn't notice it had happened, but I suddenly threw up all over him. He was not pleased, and I couldn't stop laughing.
 

AngryMetalsmith

Business is good, thanks for asking
Jun 4, 2006
22,041
12,732
I have no idea where I am
Confirmed by my neighbors, I was not the only one to be visited by multiple weirdos last night.

On a positive (but strange) note, a woman was on the verge of tears over a pendant of mine. She said it was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she had ever seen. She didn't buy it, but a complement none the less amongst an ocean of banality.


edit: left out the weird part. As she was leaving...

her: "congratulations"
me: " for what ?"
her: "for being awesome"
 
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Da Peach

Outwitted by a rodent
Jul 2, 2002
13,780
5,216
North Van
Confirmed by my neighbors, I was not the only one to be visited by multiple weirdos last night.

On a positive (but strange) note, a woman was on the verge of tears over a pendant of mine. She said it was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she had ever seen. She didn't buy it, but a complement none the less amongst an ocean of banality.
I hope she wasn't the Ted Danson of artisan jewelry appreciation... [/kidding]

Celine Dion sung in French sounds slightly more foreign, and therefore less immediately offensive. Gosh, I'm so PC...
 

CrabJoe StretchPants

Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick
Nov 30, 2003
14,163
2,485
Groton, MA
If doctors and scientists could somehow find a way to transplant the flush mechanism of industrial toilets into the human throat, there would never be another choking fatality ever again.