Quantcast

The Stella Awards

  • Come enter the Ridemonkey Secret Santa!

    We're kicking off the 2024 Secret Santa! Exchange gifts with other monkeys - from beer and snacks, to bike gear, to custom machined holiday decorations and tools by our more talented members, there's something for everyone.

    Click here for details and to learn how to participate.

flow

Chimp
May 6, 2003
61
0
Vancouver
It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards.

The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. The following are this year's candidates:

1) Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

2) A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

3) Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4) Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5) A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6) Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

7) This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R. V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

8)....See DH forum.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,750
8,748
altho the humor is appreciated in light of the big bear suit etc., two things are worth noting:

1) this list is fabricated afaik. "merv grazinski" certainly is http://capmag.com/article.asp?ID=3447

2) the original stella case is not as clear cut as you'd think. the coffee was 185 degrees, and mcdonalds kept it that way to eke more life out of their pitiful coffee beans even tho they knew that it was too hot.
 

El Jefe

Dr. Phil Jefe
Nov 26, 2001
793
0
OC in SoCal
narlus said:
yeah, the McD's coffee burn incident is not frivolous once you delve into the facts. toshi, the temp was 185C.
You mean 185F. 185C coffee is not possible, since water boils at 100C. :D
 

flow

Chimp
May 6, 2003
61
0
Vancouver
Good article Toshi.

I still don't agree with the Stella award though "Yeah let's squeeze this hot styrofoam cup of coffee between my thighs and drive around and see what happens."
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,750
8,748
flow said:
Good article Toshi.

I still don't agree with the Stella award though "Yeah let's squeeze this hot styrofoam cup of coffee between my thighs and drive around and see what happens."
funny how much this coffee suit has been brought up today :D . from others' postings today i've gathered that she wasn't driving, and was holding the cup with one hand, opening it with the other. that's pretty typical behavior, no? this post went on to state that she had 3rd degree (ie the dermis is charcoal) burns over 6% of her body and spent 8 days in the hospital.