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The "Top 10 Reasons N8 isn't Posting" Thread

valve bouncer

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,843
114
Japan
10) Got a life- probability 0.0000034%
9) Sacked up and re-joined the Army Lightbulb Engineering Corps- prob. 0.00000045%
8) Got new job administering opium suppositories to Bill O'Reilly- prob. 23.56%
7) Ripped one of his metro shirts so is in obligatory 49 day mourning period- prob. 36.8%
6) On Crawford ranch using his arse as Dubya's bike rack- prob. 12.456%
5) "Flashed his 45" and shot himself in the foot- prob. 11.43%
4) Tried to get a new 29 incher but could only get 27 inches before rupturing a kidney- prob 18.908%
3) Is on a "Leaving Las Vegas" type martini binge. The wild and crazy dude is having 3 a day!!!!!!!!- prob. 5.78%
2) Copy and paste button broken- prob 45.56%
1) Decided to leave of his own accord as in his words "I have nothing to offer this forum"- prob. 0.00000045%
 
valve bouncer

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,843
114
Japan
Curioser and curioser......
A Louisiana woman stabbed a male friend twice in the shower after he refused to stop masturbating in front of her children.

Defence lawyers for Kylie Louise Wilson, 28, said the mother of two "lost it" when her friend of six years, N8, went on a masturbation marathon on June 6 this year.

Shreveport's District Court this morning heard Mr N8 had showed up at Wilson's unit where he took amphetamines before having a shower.

Whilst in the bathroom, Mr N8, 32, began pleasuring himself, before moving to Wilson's bedroom, where he rolled around naked on her bed and continued his lewd conduct.

He returned to the bathroom for more and was busted by Wilson, who was attempting to bath her three-and-a-half year-old daughter.

The court heard Mr N8 refused her repeated requests to stop, prompting her to fetch a knife from the kitchen which she used to stab him twice in the left shoulder.

County prosecutors said Mr N8 paused only to put on his shorts and flee outside to wait for police to arrive, but was again overcome by the urge.

"Despite his injury, it seems (Mr N8) continued to masturbate while in the garage," the prosecutor said.

Police took him to hospital where he received treatment for the minor stab wounds.

Wilson pleaded guilty to one count each of unlawful wounding and wilful damage.

Her defence attorney, Mark Johnson, said Wilson regarded Mr N8 as a "tolerably decent person" when he was not using drugs, but had become "extremely protective" of her daughter under the circumstances.

"He was in and out and round about, doing this sort of thing all over the house, " Mr Johnson said.

"She just lost it, to put it crudely."

Senior Judge Gilbert Trafford Walker accepted the County's submission that Wilson had been subjected to "grossly offensive conduct ... which in a moral sense amounts to extreme provocation."

He sentenced her to nine months' jail but ordered that she be immediately released on parole.
Click to expand...



Real article here lest you think I'm completely making this up
http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/stab-victim-continued-masturbating/2007/06/20/1182019174853.html
 
MikeD

MikeD

Leader and Demogogue of the Ridemonkey Satinists
Oct 26, 2001
11,737
1,820
chez moi
Who's paying you not to post? Opie?? Only the Zionist conspiracy could put together those kinds of funds...
 
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