But you hate people!
But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?
But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?
The ultimate random movie quote thread!.........
- Thread starter gonefirefightin
- Start date
Oh my god, what have you created in this thread? I could go on for 58 pages just by myself!
"The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?"
"It's a deal, it's a steal, it's the sale of the fvckin' century. In fact fvck it Nick, I think I'll keep it!"
"A little bit of pain never hurt anyone.."
"In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again? "
"I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine!"
"The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?"
"It's a deal, it's a steal, it's the sale of the fvckin' century. In fact fvck it Nick, I think I'll keep it!"
"A little bit of pain never hurt anyone.."
"In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again? "
"I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine!"
Officer - "I have a deal for you. You'll receive full pardon for every criminal action in the United States. There was an accident. About an hour ago, a small jet went down inside New York City. The President was on board."
Plissken - "The president of what?"
Plissken - "The president of what?"
Last edited:
"I'm your sister, I'm your sister!"
"Life's a garden, dig it?"
"Right on. Things are gonna happen for me! I'm Joe Dirt!"
"Now, you're telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?"
"Life's a garden, dig it?"
"Right on. Things are gonna happen for me! I'm Joe Dirt!"
"Now, you're telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?"
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it
Your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash
Your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash
Last edited:
This was actually worked into my best man's speech. Was quite impressive.
hey, where the white woman at?
God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
"That was close. Darn near lost a forty dollar hand cart."
No offense to anyone but the Hopper/Walken exchange was classic:
Clifford Worley: You're Sicilian, huh?
Coccotti: Yeah, Sicilian.
Clifford Worley: Ya know, I read a lot. Especially about things... about history. I find that sh!t fascinating. Here's a fact I don't know whether you know or not. Sicilians were spawned by n***ers.
Coccotti: Come again?
Clifford Worley: It's a fact. Yeah. You see, uh, Sicilians have, uh, black blood pumpin' through their hearts. Hey, no, if eh, if eh, if you don't believe me, uh, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, uh, you see, uh, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are n***ers.
Coccotti: Yes...
Clifford Worley: So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much f*ckin' with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that n***er gene. Now this...
Clifford Worley: No, I'm, no, I'm quoting... history. It's written. It's a fact, it's written.
Coccotti: [I love this guy.
Clifford Worley: Your ancestors are n***ers. Uh-huh.
Clifford Worley: Hey. Yeah. And, and your great-great-great-great grandmother f***ed a n***er, ho, ho, yeah, and she had a half-n***er kid... now, if that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? 'Cause you, you're part eggplant.
Clifford Worley: You're Sicilian, huh?
Coccotti: Yeah, Sicilian.
Clifford Worley: Ya know, I read a lot. Especially about things... about history. I find that sh!t fascinating. Here's a fact I don't know whether you know or not. Sicilians were spawned by n***ers.
Coccotti: Come again?
Clifford Worley: It's a fact. Yeah. You see, uh, Sicilians have, uh, black blood pumpin' through their hearts. Hey, no, if eh, if eh, if you don't believe me, uh, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, uh, you see, uh, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are n***ers.
Coccotti: Yes...
Clifford Worley: So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much f*ckin' with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that n***er gene. Now this...
Clifford Worley: No, I'm, no, I'm quoting... history. It's written. It's a fact, it's written.
Coccotti: [I love this guy.
Clifford Worley: Your ancestors are n***ers. Uh-huh.
Clifford Worley: Hey. Yeah. And, and your great-great-great-great grandmother f***ed a n***er, ho, ho, yeah, and she had a half-n***er kid... now, if that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? 'Cause you, you're part eggplant.
“You’re all clear, kid! Now let’s blow this thing and go home
No. *I* am your father.
No. *I* am your father.
...........Hey... Stop jumping on the bed........
..........Who wants a mustache ride..........
..... Bullet proof cup eh.... I invented this gag, only in my day the rookie got naked<gunshot, and glass breaking>..... and we also used blanks.. Your a sick mutha ****er Mak....
Thanks Cheif!!!
..........Who wants a mustache ride..........
..... Bullet proof cup eh.... I invented this gag, only in my day the rookie got naked<gunshot, and glass breaking>..... and we also used blanks.. Your a sick mutha ****er Mak....
Thanks Cheif!!!
-It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
-We're on a mission from God.
(Blues Brothers)
-We're on a mission from God.
(Blues Brothers)
First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ass. You know, I'll bet more people see that than the phone book.
No more yanky my wankie.....The DONGER need food !!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
"What we have here, is a failure to communicate!"
I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at like the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?
fkn amateurs, dude.
Now that there is the Tec-9, a crappy spray gun from South Miami. This gun is advertised as the most popular gun in American crime. Do you believe that shiat? It actually says that in the little book that comes with it: the most popular gun in American crime. Like they're actually proud of that shiat.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
- We cant stop here. This is bat country!
- We cant stop here. This is bat country!
I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this ****ing face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this ****ing face. I make that **** work. It does whatever the **** I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little ****, none of you little ****s out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER!
Elaine Dickinson: You got a letter from headquarters this morning.
Ted Striker: What is it?
Elaine Dickinson: It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.
Ted Striker: What is it?
Elaine Dickinson: It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.
Topper Harley: These men have taken a supreme vow of celibacy, like their fathers, and their fathers before them...
You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, ****-face, dickhead, asshole.
Eyes melt, skin explodes, everybody dead!
Fletch: Hey Betty, how about lunch at the In N' Out Burger?
Betty Dilworth: No.
Fletch: Okay, forget the burger, how about just the In N' Out?
[she sneers at him]
Fletch: Ok, how about just the In?
Betty Dilworth: No.
Fletch: Okay, forget the burger, how about just the In N' Out?
[she sneers at him]
Fletch: Ok, how about just the In?
I am gravely disappointed. Again you have made me unleash my dogs of war.
Take that, you freaky piece of sh!t. You don't mow another guy's lawn.
It's a small world when you've got unbelievable t!ts Roy.
Roy: Hey, I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one, whew.
[Takes a drink from the bucket]
Mr. Boorg: We don't have a cow. We have a bull.
Roy: I'm gonna brush my teeth."
It's a small world when you've got unbelievable t!ts Roy.
Roy: Hey, I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one, whew.
[Takes a drink from the bucket]
Mr. Boorg: We don't have a cow. We have a bull.
Roy: I'm gonna brush my teeth."
(still one of my favorites)--
Guns or knives, Butch.
I'm not going to shoot you, Harvey.
Then knives it is.
No, no, not until me and Harvey get the rules settled.
Rules?!? In a knife fight?!?
(swift kick to the groin)
Ok, then, if we arent' going to have any rules, someone yell "1, 2, 3, go"
1, 2, 3, go!!
(double backhand to the head for the knockout)
And that, my friends, is how you win a knife fight...........
Guns or knives, Butch.
I'm not going to shoot you, Harvey.
Then knives it is.
No, no, not until me and Harvey get the rules settled.
Rules?!? In a knife fight?!?
(swift kick to the groin)
Ok, then, if we arent' going to have any rules, someone yell "1, 2, 3, go"
1, 2, 3, go!!
(double backhand to the head for the knockout)
And that, my friends, is how you win a knife fight...........