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Skip Bernet:
  • If you think your bike looks good, it does.
  • If you like the way your bike rides, it’s an awesome bike.
  • You don’t need to spend a million dollars to have a great bike, but if you do spend a million dollars and know what you want you’ll probably also have a great bike.
  • Yes, you can tour on your bike – whatever it is.
  • Yes, you can race on your bike – whatever it is.
  • Yes, you can commute on your bike – whatever it is.
  • 26” wheels or 29” or 650b or 700c or 24” or 20” or whatever – yes, that wheel size is rad and you’ll probably get where you’re going.
  • Disc brakes, cantis, v-brakes, and road calipers all do a great job of stopping a bike when they’re working and adjusted.
  • No paint job makes everyone happy.
  • Yes, you can put a rack on that. Get some p-clamps if there are no mounts.
  • Steel is a great material for making bike frames - so is aluminum, carbon fiber, and titanium.
  • You can have your saddle at whatever angle makes you happy.
  • Your handlebars can be lower than your saddle, even with your saddle, or higher than your saddle. Whichever way you like it is right.
  • Being shuttled up a downhill run does not make you a weak person, nor does choosing not to fly off of a 10 foot drop.
  • Bike frames made overseas can be super cool. Bike frames made in the USA can be super cool.
  • Hey, tattooed and pierced long shorts wearin flat brim hat red bull drinkin white Oakley sportin rad person on your full suspension big hit bike – nice work out there.
  • Hey, little round glasses pocket protector collared shirt skid lid rear view mirror sandal wearing schwalbe marathon running pletscher two-leg kickstand tourist – good job.
  • Hey, shaved leg skinny as hell super duper tan line hear rate monitor checking power tap train in the basement all winter super loud lycra kit million dollar wheels racer – keep it up.
  • The more you ride your bike, the less your ass will hurt.
  • The following short answers are good answers, but not the only ones for the question asked – 29”, Brooks, lugged, disc brake, steel, Campagnolo, helmet, custom, Rohloff, NJS, carbon, 31.8, clipless, porteur.
  • No bike does everything perfectly. In fact, no bike does anything until someone gets on it to ride.
  • Sometimes, recumbent bikes are ok.
  • Your bikeshop is not trying to screw you. They’re trying to stay open.
  • Buying things off of the internet is great, except when it sucks.
  • Some people know more about bikes than you do. Other people know less.
  • Maybe the person you waved at while you were out riding didn’t see you wave at them.
  • It sucks to be harassed by assholes in cars while you’re on a bike. It also sucks to drive behind assholes on bikes.
  • Did you build that yourself? Awesome. Did you buy that? Cool.
  • Wheelies are the best trick ever invented. That’s just a fact.
  • Which is better, riding long miles, or hanging out under a bridge doing tricks? Yes.
  • Yes, you can break your collar bone riding a bike like that.
  • Stopping at stop signs is probably a good idea.
  • Driving with your bikes on top of your car to get to a dirt trail isn’t ideal, but for most people it’s necessary.
  • If your bike has couplers, or if you have a spendy bike case, or if you pay a shop to pack your bike, or if you have a folding bike, shipping a bike is still a pain in the ass for everyone involved.
  • That dent in your frame is probably ok, but maybe it’s not. You should get it looked at.
  • Touch up paint always looks like shit. Often it looks worse than the scratch.
  • A pristine bike free of dirt, scratches, and wear marks makes me sort of sad.
  • A bike that’s been chained to the same tree for three years caked with rust and missing parts makes me sad too.
  • Bikes purchased at Wal-mart, Target, Costco, or K-mart are generally not the best bang for your buck.
  • Toe overlap is not the end of the world, unless you crash and die – then it is.
  • Sometimes parts break. Sometimes you crash. Sometimes it’s your fault.
  • Yes, you can buy a bike without riding it first. It would be nice to ride it first, but it’s not a deal breaker not to.
  • Ownership of a truing stand does not a wheel builder make.
  • 32 spokes, 48 spokes, 24 spokes, three spokes? Sure.
  • Single speed bikes are rad. Bikes with derailleurs and cassettes are sexy. Belt drive internal gear bikes work great too.
  • Columbus, TruTemper, Reynolds, Ishiwata, or no brand? I’d ride it.
  • Tubeless tires are pretty cool. So are tubes.
  • The moral of RAGBRAI is that families and drunken boobs can have fun on the same route, just maybe at different times of day.
  • Riding by yourself kicks ass. You might also try riding with a group.
  • Really fast people are frustrating, but they make you faster. When you get faster, you might frustrate someone else.
  • Stopping can be as much fun as riding.
  • Lots of people worked their asses off to build whatever trail or road or alley you’re riding on. You should thank them.
 

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
7,596
5,894
in a single wide, cooking meth...
Few more -

  • People who ride wet dirt jumps/berms should be shot in the face
  • The next president needs to initiate a nationwide campaign to murder off all ticks and chiggers
  • Kids on bikes is pretty much the best thing in the world (or at least tied with drunken boobies)
  • Riding with your dog is a close second
  • Landers...yes, for fucks sake
  • I would really like to race the EWS if for no other reason than to ride in those galactically rad locales
  • Pump tracks are freakin cool and should be in every neighborhood
  • 0.01% build, create and maintain...99.9% just ride what the 0.01% provides them
  • Bikes are cooler than any ball sport...especially fucking golf
  • I'm always amazed and inspired seeing old bastards and bastardesses ride their ass off
  • Don't work on your bike when you've been drinking...trust me on this
  • Always try to keep a beater hardtail around
  • Wear a damn helmet
  • There's nothing quite like the feeling of racing...especially if that feeling includes the pre-start runs
  • The bike I have now is 10,000X better than the bike I had 10 years ago
  • I feel sad for my old friends who don't ride bikes, and from what I can tell, don't have any significant avocation
  • Thanks to bikes, I no longer care that my favored ball sport teams generally suck, and suck hard
  • I think about bikes pretty much 24/7
  • Many of the current professional bike videos and pictorials are simply stunning and I dare say superior to basically all other sports media coverage - props to photogs and editors out there
  • However unlikely, I hope I'm riding a bike (whatever it may be) until the day I die
 

skibunny24

Enthusiastic Receiver of Reputation
Jun 16, 2010
3,281
585
Renton, WA
I read them all too, and it made me :weee:

I also now know what toe overlap is. Turns out I know something about that after all!