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~~Thursday Mutherf#ckin GMT~~

stoney

Part of the unwashed, middle-American horde
Jul 26, 2006
21,961
7,809
Colorado
Just got an email from the VP of the dept of the new position letting me know that it was listed. This is now my current manager, the AVP (hiring manager), and the VP (the approving manager and that's director level at our co). I think I'm in a good spot here...
 

Full Trucker

Frikkin newb!!!
Feb 26, 2003
10,999
8,525
Exit, CO
...MOAR bullshit...

Morning Monkeys.
Lots to unpack here, homey.

I am having a rough go at it lately. My lack of motivation is Scarry but not enough to make a change yet. I know I am responsible for my own happiness, but right now I am all out of fucks with no idea when any might show up.
I think we all have a rough go occasionally, and I don't mean say to trivialize what you're feeling. I say it to (hopefully) give you some assurance that you aren't in this alone, man. Lack of motivation can be a sign of depression, and the Black Dog is nothing to trifle with. If you're to the point of mentioning it on a mountain bike forum to a bunch of (mostly) random strangers, it's worth paying attention to. That said, I also have no idea when or how the "fucks might show up" so if you figure it out, enlighten me.

The wife says "you should talk to someone" and while I see her point, I am not even sure what to talk to someone about. How is it you give a fuck?
I agree with your wife. And the "someone" doesn't need to be a pro, at least maybe not now. What to talk about? Everything, man. Unpack that shit. I find for me walking back what's going on in my head, one little thing at a time, no matter how trivial, can be enlightening as to what's really bumming me out. Not giving a fuck and having no motivation is a symptom, not the issue, in my experience.

I am going to ride my bike when I get home.
Good call, that'll help.
 
I can't decide whether I like firefox or chrome better. Chrome is objectively better- pinch to zoom and effective autoplay kill, but then chrome knows everywhere I've been in addition to my phone and the wiretap in my kitchen. hmmm...
Ever wonder what's talking back and forth in your house?

After listening for 1461.18 minutes, activity detected on 2.4 GHz ISM channels:
0: 202 times.
1: 266 times.
2: 253 times.
3: 308 times.
4: 290 times.
5: 70 times.
6: 88 times.
7: 92 times.
8: 91 times.
9: 117 times.
10: 117 times.
11: 130 times.
12: 123 times.
13: 131 times.
14: 127 times.
15: 120 times.
16: 125 times.
17: 120 times.
18: 97 times.
19: 87 times.
20: 64 times.
21: 53 times.
22: 31 times.
23: 265 times.
24: 217 times.
25: 288 times.
26: 840 times.
27: 9518 times.
28: 9294 times.
29: 11479 times.
30: 11115 times.
31: 11769 times.
32: 11248 times.
33: 11070 times.
34: 11819 times.
35: 10968 times.
36: 11508 times.
37: 11428 times.
38: 11219 times.
39: 11720 times.
40: 11624 times.
41: 11030 times.
42: 12001 times.
43: 11456 times.
44: 10813 times.
45: 11700 times.
46: 10024 times.
47: 10940 times.
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81: 260 times.
82: 243 times.
83: 11 times.
84: 5 times.
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94: once.
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114: 198 times.
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116: 144 times.
117: once.
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SkaredShtles

Michael Bolton
Sep 21, 2003
67,381
13,928
In a van.... down by the river
I really should fucking go to The Onion EVERY day before I start my regular shit. That right there is GOLD. :thumb:

Lots to unpack here, homey.

I think we all have a rough go occasionally, and I don't mean say to trivialize what you're feeling. I say it to (hopefully) give you some assurance that you aren't in this alone, man. Lack of motivation can be a sign of depression, and the Black Dog is nothing to trifle with. If you're to the point of mentioning it on a mountain bike forum to a bunch of (mostly) random strangers, it's worth paying attention to. That said, I also have no idea when or how the "fucks might show up" so if you figure it out, enlighten me.

I agree with your wife. And the "someone" doesn't need to be a pro, at least maybe not now. What to talk about? Everything, man. Unpack that shit. I find for me walking back what's going on in my head, one little thing at a time, no matter how trivial, can be enlightening as to what's really bumming me out. Not giving a fuck and having no motivation is a symptom, not the issue, in my experience.
Are you a psychiatrist? Because if you aren't... you might want to give it some consideration. This is all good advice.
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
42,739
14,840
Portland, OR
[QUOTE="Full Trucker]

Good call, that'll help.[/QUOTE]

I have gotten away from a lot of things I enjoy because of outside influence. Stress has been huge and depression has always been a battle. Meds help, but they are clearly a crutch and I need positive outlets.

Having the RV project has been a nice distraction, but has also added to the feeling of overwhelming failure at times (shits tougher in real life). I have a good program that helps when I work it, it's just working it.

I guess it goes along with the idea of "the first step is admitting you have a problem". Next step will be to take a hard look at what changes need to be made and what ones I can make myself.

I got a call from a recruiter yesterday that made me take a hard look at myself. It is a dream job for a major outdoor gear company based here. Normally I would rush to the computer to update my resume and send it. But I suddenly found myself full of self doubt and it was disturbing.

It's a weird spot. I am not overly happy at work, but it's me, not the work. So a change might mean more money, but also higher expectations and risk. It is hard to look at myself and say "nope, not worth the effort".

But something has to give, but it ain't me.
 

roflbox

roflborx
Jan 23, 2017
3,163
834
Raleigh, NC
Ever wonder what's talking back and forth in your house?

After listening for 1461.18 minutes, activity detected on 2.4 GHz ISM channels:
0: 202 times.
1: 266 times.
2: 253 times.
3: 308 times.
4: 290 times.
5: 70 times.
6: 88 times.
7: 92 times.
8: 91 times.
9: 117 times.
10: 117 times.
11: 130 times.
12: 123 times.
13: 131 times.
14: 127 times.
15: 120 times.
16: 125 times.
17: 120 times.
18: 97 times.
19: 87 times.
20: 64 times.
21: 53 times.
22: 31 times.
23: 265 times.
24: 217 times.
25: 288 times.
26: 840 times.
27: 9518 times.
28: 9294 times.
29: 11479 times.
30: 11115 times.
31: 11769 times.
32: 11248 times.
33: 11070 times.
34: 11819 times.
35: 10968 times.
36: 11508 times.
37: 11428 times.
38: 11219 times.
39: 11720 times.
40: 11624 times.
41: 11030 times.
42: 12001 times.
43: 11456 times.
44: 10813 times.
45: 11700 times.
46: 10024 times.
47: 10940 times.
48: 2929 times.
49: 64 times.
50: 53 times.
51: 35 times.
52: 32 times.
53: 20 times.
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55: 29 times.
56: 27 times.
57: 17 times.
58: 32 times.
59: 39 times.
60: 48 times.
61: 42 times.
62: 37 times.
63: 38 times.
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65: 34 times.
66: 27 times.
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69: 23 times.
70: 18 times.
71: 18 times.
72: 22 times.
73: 23 times.
74: 16 times.
75: 16 times.
76: 24 times.
77: 230 times.
78: 190 times.
79: 236 times.
80: 268 times.
81: 260 times.
82: 243 times.
83: 11 times.
84: 5 times.
85: 9 times.
86: 9 times.
87: 12 times.
88: 7 times.
89: 2 times.
94: once.
95: once.
114: 198 times.
115: 205 times.
116: 144 times.
117: once.
118: 2 times.
120: 6 times.
121: 8 times.
122: 10 times.
123: 3 times.
124: 3 times.
125: 4 times.
Is that your smart fridge phoning home again?
 

StiHacka

Compensating for something
Jan 4, 2013
21,560
12,508
In hell. Welcome!
Ever wonder what's talking back and forth in your house?

After listening for 1461.18 minutes, activity detected on 2.4 GHz ISM channels:
0: 202 times.
1: 266 times.
2: 253 times.
3: 308 times.
4: 290 times.
5: 70 times.
6: 88 times.
7: 92 times.
8: 91 times.
9: 117 times.
10: 117 times.
11: 130 times.
12: 123 times.
13: 131 times.
14: 127 times.
15: 120 times.
16: 125 times.
17: 120 times.
18: 97 times.
19: 87 times.
20: 64 times.
21: 53 times.
22: 31 times.
23: 265 times.
24: 217 times.
25: 288 times.
26: 840 times.
27: 9518 times.
28: 9294 times.
29: 11479 times.
30: 11115 times.
31: 11769 times.
32: 11248 times.
33: 11070 times.
34: 11819 times.
35: 10968 times.
36: 11508 times.
37: 11428 times.
38: 11219 times.
39: 11720 times.
40: 11624 times.
41: 11030 times.
42: 12001 times.
43: 11456 times.
44: 10813 times.
45: 11700 times.
46: 10024 times.
47: 10940 times.
48: 2929 times.
49: 64 times.
50: 53 times.
51: 35 times.
52: 32 times.
53: 20 times.
54: 20 times.
55: 29 times.
56: 27 times.
57: 17 times.
58: 32 times.
59: 39 times.
60: 48 times.
61: 42 times.
62: 37 times.
63: 38 times.
64: 33 times.
65: 34 times.
66: 27 times.
67: 33 times.
68: 28 times.
69: 23 times.
70: 18 times.
71: 18 times.
72: 22 times.
73: 23 times.
74: 16 times.
75: 16 times.
76: 24 times.
77: 230 times.
78: 190 times.
79: 236 times.
80: 268 times.
81: 260 times.
82: 243 times.
83: 11 times.
84: 5 times.
85: 9 times.
86: 9 times.
87: 12 times.
88: 7 times.
89: 2 times.
94: once.
95: once.
114: 198 times.
115: 205 times.
116: 144 times.
117: once.
118: 2 times.
120: 6 times.
121: 8 times.
122: 10 times.
123: 3 times.
124: 3 times.
125: 4 times.
 

Sandwich

Pig my fish!
Staff member
May 23, 2002
21,645
6,850
borcester rhymes
Ever wonder what's talking back and forth in your house?

After listening for 1461.18 minutes, activity detected on 2.4 GHz ISM channels:
0: 202 times.
1: 266 times.
2: 253 times.
3: 308 times.
4: 290 times.
5: 70 times.
6: 88 times.
7: 92 times.
8: 91 times.
9: 117 times.
10: 117 times.
11: 130 times.
12: 123 times.
13: 131 times.
14: 127 times.
15: 120 times.
16: 125 times.
17: 120 times.
18: 97 times.
19: 87 times.
20: 64 times.
21: 53 times.
22: 31 times.
23: 265 times.
24: 217 times.
25: 288 times.
26: 840 times.
27: 9518 times.
28: 9294 times.
29: 11479 times.
30: 11115 times.
31: 11769 times.
32: 11248 times.
33: 11070 times.
34: 11819 times.
35: 10968 times.
36: 11508 times.
37: 11428 times.
38: 11219 times.
39: 11720 times.
40: 11624 times.
41: 11030 times.
42: 12001 times.
43: 11456 times.
44: 10813 times.
45: 11700 times.
46: 10024 times.
47: 10940 times.
48: 2929 times.
49: 64 times.
50: 53 times.
51: 35 times.
52: 32 times.
53: 20 times.
54: 20 times.
55: 29 times.
56: 27 times.
57: 17 times.
58: 32 times.
59: 39 times.
60: 48 times.
61: 42 times.
62: 37 times.
63: 38 times.
64: 33 times.
65: 34 times.
66: 27 times.
67: 33 times.
68: 28 times.
69: 23 times.
70: 18 times.
71: 18 times.
72: 22 times.
73: 23 times.
74: 16 times.
75: 16 times.
76: 24 times.
77: 230 times.
78: 190 times.
79: 236 times.
80: 268 times.
81: 260 times.
82: 243 times.
83: 11 times.
84: 5 times.
85: 9 times.
86: 9 times.
87: 12 times.
88: 7 times.
89: 2 times.
94: once.
95: once.
114: 198 times.
115: 205 times.
116: 144 times.
117: once.
118: 2 times.
120: 6 times.
121: 8 times.
122: 10 times.
123: 3 times.
124: 3 times.
125: 4 times.
i don't know what any of this means.
 

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
41,414
18,651
Riding the baggage carousel.
Am at urgent care with what feels like 4-5 rusty nails running allong the sides of my abdominal scar. Despite my attmepts to SIUP, shit did not just get better. Am now riding the fine line between just extreme discomfort and staight up pain.
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
42,739
14,840
Portland, OR
Am at urgent care with what feels like 4-5 rusty nails running allong the sides of my abdominal scar. Despite my attmepts to SIUP, shit did not just get better. Am now riding the fine line between just extreme discomfort and staight up pain.
Did you try rubbing some dirt on it?
 

Nick

My name is Nick
Sep 21, 2001
24,711
16,097
where the trails are
Am at urgent care with what feels like 4-5 rusty nails running allong the sides of my abdominal scar. Despite my attmepts to SIUP, shit did not just get better. Am now riding the fine line between just extreme discomfort and staight up pain.
so you think you maybe herniated some old got-run-over shit?

hope ya feel better dude.