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today's dose of humor

narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,658
65
behind the viewfinder
A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, Hi ... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.

The social worker behind the counter says, your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.

The starting salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy says, "You're buli****tin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
A surly biker hops off his motorcycle and walks into a crowded downtown bank.
He cuts in front of the line and walks up to the teller.

Biker: "Bitch, I want to open an account here."
Teller: "Sir, there is no need for that language here. Now, how may I assist you?"
Biker: "Were you listening you f***ing bitch? I said I want to open a goddamn account, right away!"
Teller: "Sir! I will help you with that, but not until you stop using that language with me!"
Biker: "Whatever, why should I listen to you? Now open a f***king account for me, bitch!"
Teller: "Please wait here.."

The teller goes to the manager of the bank and explains the situation. The manager addresses the biker.
Manager: "Sir, is there a problem here?"
Biker: "No f***ing problem at all, man. I just won the f***ing state lottery and I have $50,000,000 I want to put in this s***hole of a bank!"
Manager: "Oh! I'm sorry, was this bitch giving you a hard time?
 

I Are Baboon

Vagina man
Aug 6, 2001
32,741
10,677
MTB New England
H8R and narlus post jokes that are lame
I guess we can expect more of the same
nobody laughs
these jokes are half-assed
to bore us must be their aim


OOPS, wrong thread. :devil:
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,959
35
I Are Baboon said:
to bore us must be their aim
M15510N 4cc0mpL15h3D!!1!!11!

w00t!!11!!

HAHAH OMFG, LOLZORZ!!<!!!!

:stupid: :stosh: :eviltongu :dead: