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Top ten twats...

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,645
664
Front Range, dude...
Inspired by the Molly Hatchett thread...

1. Don Henley
2. Madonna
3. Angelina Jolie
4. Rush Limbaugh
5. Hilary Clinton
6. GHW Bush
7. Dick Cheney
8. Ted Nugent
9. A-Rod
10. Paris Hilton

Credit to SkaredShtles...you are my muse...in a totally non ghey whey.
 
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H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,964
34
1. Don Henley
Agreed. He's a drummer and all, but I don't give a fvck. I'll throw him under the bus.

2. Madonna
Top 100 maybe, not the top 10.

3. Angelina Jolie
I think your confusing "twat" and "insane cunt".

4. Rush Limbaugh
Should be #2. In fact, he is #2. In every way.

5. Hilary Clinton
See my comment for #3.

6. GHW Bush
See my comment for #3.

7. Dick Cheney
His daughter is a lesbo.

8. Ted Nugent
He's an asshole, not a twat. If it weren't for Damn Yankees I'd actually like the guy.

9. A-Rod
Fine.

10. Paris Hilton
She serves a purpose. I don't know what it is though.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,645
664
Front Range, dude...
Letter to Ted Nugent from the Texas Governors office...

As you no doubt heard, Ted Nugent got into some trouble this week, after he performed at an inaugural rally for incumbent Texas governor Rick Perry while wearing a confederate flag. But it could have been worse: One of our Texas tipsters works in Gov. Perry's office, and we've just seen a copy of a letter faxed to Nugent shortly before the performance, cautioning him to rein in his controversial act.

Dear Mr. Nugent,

Governor Perry would like to extend his deepest gratitude to you for agreeing to perform at next week's inaugural ball. He's a big fan of your work, and I speak for much of the office staff when I say that we can't wait to meet the man who sang "Cat Scratch Fever"!


Your tour manager faxed over a list of your rider and tech requirements for the performance, and while we'll do whatever we can to accommodate you, we're having trouble filling some of these requests. Please take a look at the following itemized list, and feel free to email me at [address redacted] if you have any questions or concerns.


· Under Texas state agricultural guidelines, we cannot legally obtain "six (6) female gazelles and three (3) lucky gafellas" for "undisclosed recreational purposes" in a backstage pen.

· Because our overall budget allotment for this event has been capped at $55,000, we are unable to provide the ample back-up generators that would allow us to maintain a "15' x 40' 200-watt text-display grid." However, we can shorten the text; do you have any suggestions as to how to condense "Check the tags before you pull the wool"?

·According to our military sources, F-117 Nighthawk Stealth bombers are not available to rent out on an hourly basis.

· The fire inspector only approves effigies that are submitted three months before their scheduled burnings.

· This is less of a guideline and more of a suggestion, but I believe "cooter" is spelled with two O's, not four.


Thanks again for your time,
 

Zark

Hey little girl, do you want some candy?
Oct 18, 2001
6,257
7
Reno 911
Mike Ness deserves a spot next to Don Henley......on a plane crashing into an active volcano
 

gsweet

Monkey
Dec 20, 2001
734
5
Minnesota
i'm surprised this thread hasn't gone to hell in a hurry.

to maintain the "maturity" level here, i nominate glenn beck
 

Austin Bike

Turbo Monkey
Jan 26, 2003
1,559
0
Duh, Austin
OK, let me just say that in 1982 I was sitting in nugent's manager's kitchen when we heard that he flipped his friggin' 4-wheeler and and he wouldn't be performing in detroit that night.

That was when some girl said to me "are you that guy from REO speedwagon"?

Christ I am old.

But vodka is your friend.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,645
664
Front Range, dude...
In 82 I was at a hockey tounament in Peoria. Our hotel was on lock down with huge (To a high school kid...) security guys all over. Me and my bud were in the elevator with a security guy and some dork wearing bowling shoes.
I ask the elevator security huy what was up...
He- "REO Speedwagon is staying here, they have the top 2 floors rented"
Me- "REO Speedwagon, they suck"
Bowling shoeguy shoots me a look that clearly shows his displeasure and gets off at the lobby. Elevator security guy doubles over laughing...
Me- "Whaaaa?"
He- "That was the lead singer"