For style points: Fewer I/My statements. Mix it up and maybe be a little more anecdotal while saying the same thing. Let the reader find your point instead of hitting them with it.more progression:
>>>>> begin personal statement draft 6
My focus has always been on the inner workings of the brain, and this focus has led me to choose radiology. After being involved as an undergraduate with an fMRI/TMS/EEG project investigating regions of co-activation and -deactivation in judgment vs. perception tasks I considered pursuing graduate studies in Cognitive Neuroscience. Ultimately, I decided that medical training would offer me the most freedom in working with people. Once in medical school I considered neurosurgery, but became intrigued by the possibility of studying the brain in a non-invasive manner using complementary structural and functional imaging techniques. Thus, my academic interest in the brain led me to radiology.
My my desire to go into academic medicine has been cemented by my current involvement on a project with the University of Washington's Neuropsychiatry Imaging Group. We are analyzing MRI data of the brains of children with autism over time, so as to be able to combine basic science and clinical medicine in a synergistic way to diagnose and treat neuropsychiatric disorders.
To learn more about clinical radiology I have pursued several options. I have spoken extensively with my father, a practicing diagnostic radiologist. I have also spent time in the reading room whenever possible during the 3rd year required clerkships. Furthermore, I am planning on taking four months of radiology clerkships during the 2007-2008 school year, including a month dedicated to a voxel-based morphometry project with the Neuropsychiatry Imaging Group. I have read the radiology literature extensively, with a particular eye on the mathematics underlying the correction of MRI data for magnet inhomogeneity. Finally, I have become familiarizedwith the geometrical and statistical methods used in imaging research through my involvement in the University of Washington's Medical Scientist Research Training Program. Although my 3-dimensional echocardiography research did not involve radiology or brain imaging directly, it allowed me to accomplish the above and provided the opportunity to be published as first author in a peer reviewed journal (Clark TJ et al, Physiological Measurement 2006).
My outside activities reveal interests in applied physics in various guises. My interests in imaging and optics outside of medicine are represented by my efforts as a dedicated amateur photographer, with some of my work visible at www.toshiclark.com. My interest in acoustics is seen and heard in my ongoing involvement as a trumpet player and composer with community orchestras and a brass quintet. My interest in kinetics is represented by skiing, sailing, and amateur automobile racing with the Sports Car Club of America.
The locales in which I have lived show similar variety: I grew up in New York City as my father went through his medical training, watching him study endless textbooks. More recently I earned my undergraduate degree in Computer Science at Harvard University, and proudly greeted my sister as Dr. Clark after her 2006 graduation from University of Michigan Medical School. Currently she is undertaking a residency in Internal Medicine at the University of Colorado. As a result, I have ties to many regions of the country and am actively considering residency programs located both within and outside of the Pacific Northwest.
I seek a residency program strong in training both for clinical practice and an academic career. Following residency training I would like: to pursue a fellowship in MRI imaging of the central nervous system, continue to be involved in developing visualization software, and possibly to help develop novel MRI tracers to illuminate various tissues' functional capabilities. Thus, an established program involving collaboration within the school would be beneficial, especially between the Radiology, Bioengineering, and Applied Mathematics departments. I look forward to joining an institution that both supports its community of residents in their training and encourages them to take part in outside intellectual endeavors.