(2006-03-10) Dubai Ports World, the Arab state-owned firm that recently bought control of six major American sea ports, today gave in to pressure from Congress and agreed to sell its U.S. operations to Arkansas-based Wal-Mart Stores.
The giant retailers CEO, Lee Scott, immediately addressed lawmakers concerns about security by announcing that blue-vested Cargo Greeters would be stationed at close intervals on docks, piers and tug vessels.
While the ship captains will see these jovial, elderly folk as ambassadors of courtesy, said Mr. Scott, they actually have been trained in our stores to spot suspicious activity and to make sure criminals never leave the parking lot. In addition, well provide them with weapons training in preparation for this new assignment.
In other words, he said, if youre trying to move WMD through a Wal-Port, you may be surprised to learn that in addition to smiley stickers, Grannys got a Glock.
The Wal-Mart chief noted that because Cargo Greeters wont have company-paid health insurance, theyre highly-motivated to win the war on terror to shoot first and ask questions later, rather than risk an expensive visit to the emergency room.
The giant retailers CEO, Lee Scott, immediately addressed lawmakers concerns about security by announcing that blue-vested Cargo Greeters would be stationed at close intervals on docks, piers and tug vessels.
While the ship captains will see these jovial, elderly folk as ambassadors of courtesy, said Mr. Scott, they actually have been trained in our stores to spot suspicious activity and to make sure criminals never leave the parking lot. In addition, well provide them with weapons training in preparation for this new assignment.
In other words, he said, if youre trying to move WMD through a Wal-Port, you may be surprised to learn that in addition to smiley stickers, Grannys got a Glock.
The Wal-Mart chief noted that because Cargo Greeters wont have company-paid health insurance, theyre highly-motivated to win the war on terror to shoot first and ask questions later, rather than risk an expensive visit to the emergency room.
