[Damn True]

So I'm out running some errands at lunchtime today and flipping through AM radio and stumbled upon Dr. Laura Schleschingerwhatever. Anyway, she had this woman caller that was upset because her husband had a friend that is a woman. She called it an emotional affair because there had been no sex. She said that she and the husband were in couples counseling to deal with this.

So Dr. Laura launches into this rant about how this is a total betrayal and how he cheated on her. Then she starts saying that she thinks there is no way that the husband and his friend were not having sex.

I was outraged. Why is it that there is an automatic assumption that a man and woman are having sex because they are close friends. Tons of women have female friends that they confide in. Do men assume they are sleeping together? What if a guy confides in one of his close male friends? Does that mean they are sleeping together?

Anyway, I tried to call the show and couldn't get through but daaaaaamn that fried me.

 

[B_A_MTBIKER]

That's some BS man, Dr. Laura is a bitter old bat, who wants to stir up any situation she can by fanning any inkling of curiosity that her listeners have, excluding the ones who have the strength of mind to question her reasoning.

 

[derekpearson]

Why is it that there is an automatic assumption that a man and woman are having sex because they are close friends.[/ QUOTE]

they're doing it.

 

[tmx]

She's a notoriously narrow-minded wack job so try not to let it get to you.



Not that reading it from me, the one with the retarded gene in her family, is going to give you any condolence.

 

[Clark Kent]

We are bad. If you are a man...Guilty until proven not so guilty! Male teacher has sex with student...Sexual offender, foked life. Female teacher has sex with student...Book deals, romantic overtones, non enforced restraining orders!

 

[B_A_MTBIKER]

Female teacher has sex with student...Book deals, romantic overtones, non enforced restraining orders!

Wish I had one of those in school.

 

[Ciaran]

Female teacher has sex with student...Book deals, romantic overtones, non enforced restraining orders!

I don't know man... they sent that one teacher to jail for having two kids with her student. I forget her name...

And yeah, Dr. Laura is a nut job. Don't let her bug you too much.

 

[Damn True]

It's not so much that it came from her. Ive seen the same reaction for years from tons of women.
Ive almost always had at least one very close female friend. My ex-wifes friends were CONSTANTLY telling her that there is no way Id be friends with her and not be sleeping with her. Ive had girlfriends that couldn't handle me having female friends either.

So am I assume that if a woman I'm dating or married to has a close friend that she confides things in. Perhaps some things she dosen't tell me... Should I assume the two of THEM are having sex?

 

[BurlyShirley]

Hahahah,

Dr. Laura can be pretty good sometimes, but I think she makes hasty assumptions quite alot without learning enough. Pissing people off is how she makes her $$$$$$$

 

[gschuette]

I wish I slept with all my close female friends. That would be totally awesome because they are all smokin' hot.

 

[s1ngletrack]

They probably weren't having sex - he was probably just fantasizing about it, and knew better than to try. I know someone out there (probably several) is going to disagree with me, but I don't believe that a guy and girl can just be friends - unless the guy is 100% not attracted to the girl. Admit it - you have probably wondered what it would be like to stick it to most every casual female aquaintence that you have had (though you may have had very good reasons for not doing so - including morals). This is why we get a bad rap - everyone knows it.

On another note - Dr. Laura is a glorified talkshow host - sensationalism sells.

 

[mack]

Im with Laura, im 15 and if i had the chance to have sex with one of my female friends, trust me id already be done. :evil: but maby that goes away when ur a old fart at 30. :nuts:

 

[ncrider]

Dr. Laura seems a bit quick to stereo type. Damn, whats that say about the chicks girlfriend. Maybe she needs to pick better girlfriends. However, the flip side of the coin is this... when your dating a chick and shes got these guy "friends" that shes always hanging out with or talking to and even if you aren't the jealous type, don't you sorta assume she's banging them or at least has and therefore the probability of a future bang session is likely?

 

[Damn True]

Im with Laura, im 15 and if i had the chance to have sex with one of my female friends, trust me id already be done. :evil: but maby that goes away when ur a old fart at 30. :nuts:

30 is far from old.

 

[BurlyShirley]

30 is far from old.

Why do old people always say that?

 

[JRogers]

Hasn't your wife ever made you watch When Harry Met Sally? Men and women can't be friends....

 

[Full Trucker]

but maby that goes away when ur a old fart at 30. :nuts:

Nah, you'll still want to "stick it" to every attractive female friend you have. The only difference is that at 30, you can spell.

 

[Skookum]

Why do old people always say that?

Because they're in denial.

it's no biggie you can't stop time.

As far as Dr. Laura DT? howzabout i kidnap her and you kidnap Rush Limbaugh, we'll throw em both in a rocket ship and send em into space, then we can both be happy.

 

[binary visions]

It's the old bit where the more outrageous she can be, the more people like you get pissed off, the higher her ratings are.

I agree, though, it's a rediculous assumption. Mild fantasies about your friends are fine - hell, most of the girls I've been friends with have told me they've had fantasies about their male friends - but it doesn't mean that given the chance, I'd bang every one of my (attractive) female friends. Even if I wasn't in a relationship.

WTF is an "emotional affair"? Give me a fvcking break. He better be neglecting her something fierce for her to come up with that kind of bull. I was in a relationship with a girl once who had the same kind of mentality - going out with a girl is automatically a "date", friend or not; you can't be just close friends with a girl; that kind of thing. Never, ever again. Any girl tells me I can't be friends with someone just because of their gender, gets cut loose. It's that easy.

 

[douglas]

30 is OLD? you guys are idiots.


You can be friends with a female and not have an affair with her........and does it realy matter if you ever thought about banging her? That would be like me seeing a vette, wishing I was the one driving it, and getting arrested for grand theft of said car.

 

[JRB]

She's a notoriously narrow-minded wack job so try not to let it get to you.



Not that reading it from me, the one with the retarded gene in her family, is going to give you any condolence.

What would be funny is for me to cite a bunch of her work and to have you look into it for a true opinion.

Not that I know one single thing about her, but it was a statement like this and a rebuttal from you that made me watch Michael Moore's stuff. Thanks again

 

[DVNT]

Friends are people you haven't fvcked yet.
At the ripe age of 30 you know the consequences a little bit better,
but still have trouble spelling.
30 is old and if you're married you can chuck on another 5 years to that.
Kids? go ahead and add another 10.

Don't pass go don't collect 200 dollars.

 

[pixelninja]

hrug: eh? Whatayagonnado? You can be the best guy in the world, but there's enough pigs out there that we all get a bad rap.

I say, let the women think what they want. That way they'll always have low expectations of us and we don't have to work as hard to impress them.

 

[binary visions]

I say, let the women think what they want. That way they'll always have low expectations of us and we don't have to work as hard to impress them.

Woo hoo! That means I can impress my girlfriend by just NOT sleeping with my other friends, which I wasn't planning on doing anyway.

Sweet

 

[Fathead]

Hasn't your wife ever made you watch When Harry Met Sally? Men and women can't be friends....

Right on. It was all explained in plain and simple English. There should be no need to discuss it here.

IMHO, if anyone goes on the air and goes by "Dr." then a 1st name, or "Judge" then a 1st name, whatever professional credentials they may possess are null and void.

 

[tmx]

What would be funny is for me to cite a bunch of her work and to have you look into it for a true opinion.

Not that I know one single thing about her, but it was a statement like this and a rebuttal from you that made me watch Michael Moore's stuff. Thanks again

Indeed. Since I used to sit next to someone who would listen to her (taped her shows and brought them to work!) I must say I think I've heard all I can take. But if you want to insist...I'll revisit the subject.

That's a lie, Loco. I can't imagine subjecting myself to it again. I hope you don't mind.

 

[JRB]

Indeed. Since I used to sit next to someone who would listen to her (taped her shows and brought them to work!) I must say I think I've heard all I can take. But if you want to insist...I'll revisit the subject.

That's a lie, Loco. I can't imagine subjecting myself to it again. I hope you don't mind.

Not at all. If you had to do it again, I might suggest you drive off a bridge into a lake. I would hate to hear that, so I just say ditch the Dr. Laura idea.

 

[llkoolkeg]

It really ultimately comes down to self-control. The only attractive females I am EVER around that I DON'T want to foul are those related to me. Before I was married, I wanted to nail anything reasonably attractive that I could possibly cajole from her clothes...friend, foe, stranger, neighbor, classmate, coworker...it didn't matter. If I didn't end up sleeping with a girl, it was because I either misread her signals or she just told me to pound sand and take my woodie elsewhere. If it were not for womens' exceptional mastery(compared to men) of sexual self-control, I would now either have tons of kids or a raging case of competing STDs. Instead, I am married and it's even harder now because I can't walk through an opened door. Fortunately, my self-control has gotten better and fewer sexual opprtunities now present themselves to a 30-something chump who works too many hours...

 

[Velocity Girl]

WTF is an "emotional affair"? Give me a fvcking break. He better be neglecting her something fierce for her to come up with that kind of bull. I was in a relationship with a girl once who had the same kind of mentality - going out with a girl is automatically a "date", friend or not; you can't be just close friends with a girl; that kind of thing. Never, ever again. Any girl tells me I can't be friends with someone just because of their gender, gets cut loose. It's that easy.

An "emotional affair" can be used to describe an affair that hasn't ended in sex yet. Basically think of it as when you first start dating someone and you just haven't closed the deal yet. You can still be a couple and intimate on an emotional level but not be having sex (but of course that's usually the next step). Trust me, when you find "love notes" to another women, it doesn't matter if they're having sex or not at that point...it's still a betryal and it's still an affair!


But I do believe that men and women can be "just friends". I've had quite a few close male friends over the years that have remained "just friends".....but yes, even we women do think what it might be like to sleep with them sometimes

 

[JRB]

It really ultimately comes down to self-control. The only attractive females I am EVER around that I DON'T want to foul are those related to me. Before I was married, I wanted to nail anything reasonably attractive that I could possibly cajole from her clothes...friend, foe, stranger, neighbor, classmate, coworker...it didn't matter. If I didn't end up sleeping with a girl, it was because I either misread her signals or she just told me to pound sand and take my woodie elsewhere. If it were not for womens' exceptional mastery(compared to men) of sexual self-control, I would now either have tons of kids or a raging case of competing STDs. Instead, I am married and it's even harder now because I can't walk through an opened door. Fortunately, my self-control has gotten better and fewer sexual opprtunities now present themselves to a 30-something chump who works too many hours...

Good thing you got mostly clothed women's boobies on the Internet.

 

[binary visions]

An "emotional affair" can be used to describe an affair that hasn't ended in sex yet. Basically think of it as when you first start dating someone and you just haven't closed the deal yet. You can still be a couple and intimate on an emotional level but not be having sex (but of course that's usually the next step). Trust me, when you find "love notes" to another women, it doesn't matter if they're having sex or not at that point...it's still a betryal and it's still an affair!

Okay, okay, so I knew exactly what she meant by that, and I completely agree that if you've gotten to the point where there are love notes etc. involved, yes, it's betrayal.

However, really what I was doing was trying to make a point that a lot of women completely overreact to friendships with other women. My last relationship, I was going to go have coffee with a woman who I had been friends with for a while. I was told by my S.O. that this was a date and she was upset about it. I tried to have a discussion about what constitutes a "date" and why simply going out with a friend was considered this, but she basically shut off and refused to listen or talk. To her, spending time with another woman was a date, and boardered on "cheating".

People like Dr. Laura perpetuate this rediculous concept by thinking that they can provide adequate advice without even the most basic understanding of the situation or people involved. As if a thirty second phone call is enough to understand something as complex as a relationship, the people involved, and the friendship outside of the relationship. So, yeah, there are guys who simply want to fvck any woman that will speak to them (*cough* LL *cough* ), but, along with these so-called "self help" books, you can't simply assume that all people react the same way, have the same morals, or even the same sex drive.

 

[Velocity Girl]

Okay, okay, so I knew exactly what she meant by that, and I completely agree that if you've gotten to the point where there are love notes etc. involved, yes, it's betrayal.

However, really what I was doing was trying to make a point that a lot of women completely overreact to friendships with other women. My last relationship, I was going to go have coffee with a woman who I had been friends with for a while. I was told by my S.O. that this was a date and she was upset about it. I tried to have a discussion about what constitutes a "date" and why simply going out with a friend was considered this, but she basically shut off and refused to listen or talk. To her, spending time with another woman was a date, and boardered on "cheating".

People like Dr. Laura perpetuate this rediculous concept by thinking that they can provide adequate advice without even the most basic understanding of the situation or people involved. As if a thirty second phone call is enough to understand something as complex as a relationship, the people involved, and the friendship outside of the relationship. So, yeah, there are guys who simply want to fvck any woman that will speak to them (*cough* LL *cough* ), but, along with these so-called "self help" books, you can't simply assume that all people react the same way, have the same morals, or even the same sex drive.

I completely agree that some men and women have completely wacked views on this topic. There are just a lot of people who are either insecure about their relationships, or just can't control their jealousy that let petty **** like this get in the way....and yes, people like Dr. Laura don't help the matter either!

So I guess someone who didn't think having friends of the opposite sex is possible would probably go off the charts if they ever dated a bi-sexual??

 

[HedgeHog]

An "emotional affair" can be used to describe an affair that hasn't ended in sex yet. Basically think of it as when you first start dating someone and you just haven't closed the deal yet. You can still be a couple and intimate on an emotional level but not be having sex (but of course that's usually the next step). Trust me, when you find "love notes" to another women, it doesn't matter if they're having sex or not at that point...it's still a betryal and it's still an affair!

It was also described to me once as turning to someone other than your GF, wife (whatever) for comfort when you're having a hard time. Being too emotionally involved with another woman can lead to bumpin' uglies. Some women can handle that "risk", others can't. The later should be avoided like the plague.

But I do believe that men and women can be "just friends". I've had quite a few close male friends over the years that have remained "just friends"

Of course you know, they want to nail you. Right?

 

[Damn True]

It was also described to me once as turning to someone other than your GF, wife (whatever) for comfort when you're having a hard time. Being too emotionally involved with another woman can lead to bumpin' uglies. Some women can handle that "risk", others can't. The later should be avoided like the plague.





Of course you know, they want to nail you. Right?

I have better control of my di$k then that I suppose. I have had female friends all my life who were HOT, whom I was very very close to and whom I never had sex with.

 

[dhtahoe]

I have better control of my di$k then that I suppose. I have had female friends all my life who were HOT, whom I was very very close to and whom I never had sex with.

I can think of one that True knows that is very hot IMO and he's right they have always been good friends without hooking up. Me on the other hand wanted to nail her.