Sounds like you're behind enemy lines. You'd better attack.
VB's war on beer
- Thread starter valve bouncer
- Start date
Bring them on, we have no fear!Don't you know that for every Beer you kill, 5 more are created?
reporting some special forces attack yesterday.
eliminated several elite (40%+ proof) enemy combatants, named rum and vodka. battle was fierce and long, but power was in the numbers.
eliminated several elite (40%+ proof) enemy combatants, named rum and vodka. battle was fierce and long, but power was in the numbers.
You Sir, are a bad ass. Those elite forces are like hell in a bottle.
Frikkin U.N.
Never go to war without your helmet!
Slowly torturing an enemy as we speak. Drawn into a long pint glass and slowly consumed alive.
I lead the attack against some of the enemy's cannon fodder today. We eliminated in excess of 60. Then we smashed some of the general's in the parking lot after the other destruction (f'ing panthers).
One friendly fire incident but nothing a gallon of water and a towel couldn't fix.
Now I'm attempting to finish off the remainders from last night's battle.
I'm thinking that I'm going to have to go in reserve as my liver is screaming for mercy.
One friendly fire incident but nothing a gallon of water and a towel couldn't fix.
Now I'm attempting to finish off the remainders from last night's battle.
I'm thinking that I'm going to have to go in reserve as my liver is screaming for mercy.
Tell me where this is. I suggest we combine our forces and assault the 120 minute until they fly the white flag. And they will, they're limited in numbers...
launched operation "porcelainhug" last night against the green czec. battalion...it was a viscious fight but alas, i lost the battle in the end. it was the damn loushing that got me. a few days to recouperate (and study for finals) and i'll take aim at the local crew most likely with a shotgun
Clever bunch of drunks...
Re-engaging Holland now, as soon as Amsterdam is taken (Well, the brewery district anyway) I will take Canada...
Why do you hate freedom?
Look, while you may believe the issue is black and white, I believe that a full military offensive on beer will just encourage the creation of more beer.
By doing my part to finding alternative sources of alcohol, I'm reducing the demand for beer-born alcohol and killing off the lifeblood of new beer recruitment.
In other words, you think we should cut and run.
I think a unit from colorado just landed. I killed some of their scouts yesterday but tonight its time to take out a few more.
We cannot stop until all the beerorists have been defeated. We must stay the course! These poor brain cell have been suffering under the dicatorship of sobriety. It is our DUTY to stamp out all forms of evil sobriety and bring drunkeness to the world!
P.S. "Mission acomplished"
P.S. "Mission acomplished"
I'm moving the theatre of operations to the Australian front for a few weeks. Hope everyone here stays safe and well over the silly season and I'll be back in the new year to spew even larger amounts of crap than normal. Take it easy and don't leave any of the bastards standing.
Have a good trip!
Watch out for the little fire.
Mission accomplished? Have we not learned from the past? We must never become complacent, this is a daily battle that will be long and hard. We will not yeild or relax, ever. Battle on, brothers!
So I'm starting a long battle today against the hordes... I feel rested and confident.
I've finished off 5 of the enemy and have driven them into a temporary retreat. They'll probably regroup while at church but I'll crusade their asses when I get home.
I'm more scared of my wife then I am of the beer. I did bust up some Tsingtao at dinner. Now its back to battle the enemy while playing Santa, but not so much that Mrs. Claus is left lonely.
did one of you biatches say beer ???
farkin eh, i can sink a few... at least 3 or 4 before i m in tears...
oh, and don t listen to that wind bag johnE, the little biatch wasn t keen to D R I N K when he was here last week
farkin eh, i can sink a few... at least 3 or 4 before i m in tears...
oh, and don t listen to that wind bag johnE, the little biatch wasn t keen to D R I N K when he was here last week
I went to the Eric Clapton concert last week held at the Mission vineyard on the suspicion that there would be a massing of enemy troops. 
I was right!!! I managed to deal to 3 bottles of wine and 6 beers before I was overrun.
I was right!!! I managed to deal to 3 bottles of wine and 6 beers before I was overrun.
Dude - how do you even do this? Does the woman finish the bottle for you?I'm off alcohol for two weeks now and limiting myself to 2-3 drinks a month for the next six months.
:mumble:
I HAVE DEFEATED THEM!!! Last night we lay siege to the last of the French red. We'd whittled them down to half strength the night before, so they lasted little more than about 15 minutes.
The French are such pvssies.
The French are such pvssies.
I launched a sneak attack on the enemy that were encamped in my frig. I killed 6, my wife took at 2 before they locked the frig from the inside. I'm thinking about getting the crowbar out and going after them again. PVSSIES
Don't you have a war on paper & plastic to wage?did one of you biatches say beer ???
farkin eh, i can sink a few... at least 3 or 4 before i m in tears...
oh, and don t listen to that wind bag johnE, the little biatch wasn t keen to D R I N K when he was here last week
Dude - be careful. The Captain is a *formidable* opponent. I don't see it ending well for you....
I'm telling you - that Morgan character takes no prisoners. I retreat every time in the face of the Captain.
Fighting a war on wine is like attacking the French.I just discovered that a company of special forces has infiltrated my basement. There are some Italians, French, Spaniards, and even a Chilean red bahstid. I'm planning a bold sortie for this evening which should result in Spanish blood running through the streets.
Found a platoon of Titans in my van this morning.... and the were being led by a character named Lieutenant Calvados. I think the plan will be to capture the Lieutenant and fry him up with some chicken, apples, and cream and see if he'll talk.