I beat up on some troops from ireland yesterday, but their car bombs couldnt stop me.
VB's war on beer
- Thread starter valve bouncer
- Start date
I'd agree with you except that just recently I was the victim of a savage surprise attack at the hands of one of the French Commie bahstids.Fighting a war on wine is like attacking the French.
At this point the gloves are off.
I barely managed to survive an attack on the northern front Sunday, when a 4-pack of La Fin du Monde canuck-frogs tired to slip across the frontier undetected....
.... watchout.. this stuff is 9%..
.... watchout.. this stuff is 9%..
Oh the humanity! We shall mourn the loss of gnurider.
I just realized that there really cant be anything much more pathetic than a French Canadian.... talk about your double whammy....
So you're a mutt? Join the crowd.
Yes - winning is unlikely going to be an outcome against the Captain. But the story should be good.
I've defeated some Italians and now I'm making a full frontal assault on the Titans.
They're formidable, but the wife is assisting!
They're formidable, but the wife is assisting!
I launched another sneak attack on that damn terrorist camp in my frig but walked right into a trap.
Thought it was one of his weaker comrades but I got one of the strong ones. We have called this battle a draw.
Thought it was one of his weaker comrades but I got one of the strong ones. We have called this battle a draw.
I launched a raid on Bodingtons ale last night. I was able to kill 5 pints, but they still brew it faster than I can drink it.
Mmmmmmmm.....Boddington's ......
x5
x5
As long as your not violated by the bottle, you should be fine.
irate2:
Decided to take this one on mono y mono.
Dare say I lost the battle. (10% alcohol X 22 ounces)^(lightweight) = drunken
Dare say I lost the battle. (10% alcohol X 22 ounces)^(lightweight) = drunken
We killed off a Spaniard, a Chilean, and a couple WOPs last night. 
alas, they're redeemed by poutine & unibroue. speaking of which, there's a restaurant down the street that serves an impressive array of both (including montreal smoked meat sandwiches). what a better way to cut through a poutine grease onslaught than with a 750ml 9% brew... love the unibroue labels.
Dudes, it was WWIII at the Toronado this weekend. Barleywine festival and rare beer sessions at all hours. Many soldiers were slain. Many, many soldiers.
Did I mention it was the inaugural weekend for the Tour of California, not to mention friggin' gorgeous weather for bike riding? I love this town sometimes...
Did I mention it was the inaugural weekend for the Tour of California, not to mention friggin' gorgeous weather for bike riding? I love this town sometimes...
Did they hang the victims on the wall has a warning?
The walls are not strong enough to hold the victims from just one night, let alone the whole weekend.
We were going to proudly display our 3-liter Damnation casualty, but my buddies decided to bring it back to the Russian River Brewing Company for recycling since they were heading up there for more bike racing anyway.
Beer of the month company was finished off earlier this week, but we expect reinforcements any day now. I took this opportunity to guerilla attack the cellar and put a hurting on the foreign soliders.
First is it was the Fighting Scots...
And then I took on those former commies...
The enemy is deep with troops from Dogfish Head, Allagash, Heavyweight, Keegan Ales, Cisco, and Ommegang. The war rages on.
First is it was the Fighting Scots...
And then I took on those former commies...
The enemy is deep with troops from Dogfish Head, Allagash, Heavyweight, Keegan Ales, Cisco, and Ommegang. The war rages on.
I think I've found their general fellas. Tally ho.
http://www.theage.com.au/news/sport/finding-champs-lost-poles-a-real-tall-order/2007/02/21/1171733840956.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap1
http://www.theage.com.au/news/sport/finding-champs-lost-poles-a-real-tall-order/2007/02/21/1171733840956.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap1
Some insurgent fighters attacked last night. Local extremists.
They were quickly dealt with.
They were quickly dealt with.
I've been a non combatant for the past few weeks. I'm thinking about becoming a weekend warrior though.
I've been in an uneasy truce with the enemy. I feel they are building for a major attack though. I'm trying to gain intelligence on their plans.
Ahh, Brown Shugga, an old favorite. Fear not, I have greatly depleted their 6 pack regiments during December and January. They won't be back until next year. Sad, as I do enjoy doing battle with these feisty bastards.Decided to take this one on mono y mono.
Dare say I lost the battle. (10% alcohol X 22 ounces)^(lightweight) = drunken
Last night I had a stand off with the Three Philosophers. They made a poor choice and came unaided to do battle with a young, but experienced warrior. I waylaid them in the kitchen and brought them upstairs for a thrashing of the likes few have seen. It was a decidedly onesided battle.
Tonight there is a gathering of forces on our own turf (local pub). Pitchers will be downed alongside the forces of Hot Wings. I expect to stumble home slightly wounded, but still strong.
The Ito
I wait in the brush. Very still. Very silent. Waiting. Waiting.
They march by. One by one they pass. But I lay here, completely invisible to all of them. They have no idea I am here.
I have to relieve myself. I go. A bug crawls along my face but I do not lift a finger as I focus on my target.
Then! All of sudden it appears! It approaches without a hint of my presence. Time slows down and I raise my weapon to do my duty.
Before I know it, it is over and my job is done.
Another one has been sniped.
They march by. One by one they pass. But I lay here, completely invisible to all of them. They have no idea I am here.
I have to relieve myself. I go. A bug crawls along my face but I do not lift a finger as I focus on my target.
Then! All of sudden it appears! It approaches without a hint of my presence. Time slows down and I raise my weapon to do my duty.
Before I know it, it is over and my job is done.
Another one has been sniped.
While your asses have been sitting safe at home, I've been taking the war to the enemy. While most of our fighting men sit idle, forbidden to take on the enemy here in the Middle East, I've bravely carried on an unconventional fight with a coalition of the willing from various nations.
It's been mostly on the skirmish level, I must admit. Still, given the nature of a counter-hops campaign, we deserve some credit. Here is a photo of us after joyous combat, displaying one of the nearly-dead enemy. I know it might not be the strictest observance the Geneva convention, but in a fight like this, anything goes.
PS This was a lot funnier when it was in the Politics forum.
It's been mostly on the skirmish level, I must admit. Still, given the nature of a counter-hops campaign, we deserve some credit. Here is a photo of us after joyous combat, displaying one of the nearly-dead enemy. I know it might not be the strictest observance the Geneva convention, but in a fight like this, anything goes.
PS This was a lot funnier when it was in the Politics forum.
Yeah I'm still a bit dark it was moved. The mod who moved it obviously didn't know the context it was first posted in. Oh well, c'est la vie.
The spoils of war. One of our Commonwealth bretheren reposes amidst the carnage.
The keen eye of the trained intel operative reveals in photo-analysis that the Krauts and the Mexicans have been aiding the enemy. It matters not; we shall defeat all comers.
Last night, some ex-IRA distilled liquid terrorist found itself at our mercy as well.
You do know that those Heine's are Dutch, right? 
Operations order directs me into battle against some Germans today. Four troops of the Bitburger-ian brigade showed up in my AO unexpectedly the other day. 40 ounce bastrads...
After they are defeated I am going to the Vegas battlefields to destroy some Guiness at the Dropkick Murphys show
After they are defeated I am going to the Vegas battlefields to destroy some Guiness at the Dropkick Murphys show
The fight addled my brain a bit. Plus, they're collaborators anyhow.You do know that those Heine's are Dutch, right?
They had near-lookalike Danish reinforcements, as well. Those were less tasteful to battle, however.
I just snuck up and bitch slapped 3 magic hat #9s. They never knew what hit them. I am currently stalking the last 3... come here my bitches.
I just fvcked sh1t up one time against 3 gins and 3 of Alexander Keith's finest. Back in the office now...in search of more. There are some Coors in the fridge, but that would be like picking on a homeless paralyzed retarded kid.
This past Saturday, there was an epic battle that ended in a draw sometime Sunday morning. Here's a short recap:
Saturday, Noon...
25 Breweries, 34 cask beers, and 4 hours. This was to be the battle for Seattle. And it did not disappoint. They were a multinational fighting force, quite possibly the finest I'd seen amassed in a single location before. We were but 4...seasoned, battle-tested, ready. We withstood many frontal assaults during this 4 hour encounter, never yielding, but never making any progress. As they fell, other, stronger comrades would make another push. At the end of the session, we decided that we would leave the re-enforcements to be dealt with by fresh soldiers that were coming to our aid.
Saturday, 5:00pm...
The four delerious members of The Battle for the Center decided that it would be best to get some sustenance for the continuation of that days battle. I fought an incredibly strong Belgian chap that I had encountered before. This was, again, a draw.
Saturday, 7:30pm...
By this time we have picked up arms again and are ready to go back into the fray. Many of their side fell. None of ours did. We even took swings at some strong Irish lads...I believe their brigade commander was named "Bushmills"... Yet, we could not see the end of battle. After 13 hours of battle, our valiant fighting force called it a day and collapsed at home. We lived to fight another day...and there will certainly be more time to test our mettle in the future...
Saturday, Noon...
25 Breweries, 34 cask beers, and 4 hours. This was to be the battle for Seattle. And it did not disappoint. They were a multinational fighting force, quite possibly the finest I'd seen amassed in a single location before. We were but 4...seasoned, battle-tested, ready. We withstood many frontal assaults during this 4 hour encounter, never yielding, but never making any progress. As they fell, other, stronger comrades would make another push. At the end of the session, we decided that we would leave the re-enforcements to be dealt with by fresh soldiers that were coming to our aid.
Saturday, 5:00pm...
The four delerious members of The Battle for the Center decided that it would be best to get some sustenance for the continuation of that days battle. I fought an incredibly strong Belgian chap that I had encountered before. This was, again, a draw.
Saturday, 7:30pm...
By this time we have picked up arms again and are ready to go back into the fray. Many of their side fell. None of ours did. We even took swings at some strong Irish lads...I believe their brigade commander was named "Bushmills"... Yet, we could not see the end of battle. After 13 hours of battle, our valiant fighting force called it a day and collapsed at home. We lived to fight another day...and there will certainly be more time to test our mettle in the future...