[I Are Baboon]

OK, I have some family drama of my own- any takers?

I can see both sides, but I'm going to do what I want to do and if the folks get upset about it, that is a "them" problem. Seeing how I don't have kids though, I understand my opinion is useless. If I did have kids though and was in a similar position where I was taking the family for a trip and mom lived five hours from the destination, she would not mind if we didn't visit because she is a very laid back 77 year old who doesn't seem to get upset about anything. Dad is dead so that's not an issue.

 

[Poops McDougal]

Am I the only one whose parents have moved further to the left with age? They've still got a few old school views, but by and large have shifted into solid blue territory.

In the case of my parents (Dad in particular), it's a pretty simple formula: take a relatively uneducated, christian-raised American with a tendency towards mistrust of the government, introduce him to the internet at a late age, and BOOM: radical conspiracy theorist.

 

[SkaredShtles]

mezcal and giant hot pretzels is not a winning nutrition plan.

I sure could go for one of Pepe Osaka's Mezcal Coins right about now. Odd combo what with the giant hot pretzels, though...

<snip>
ETA: My parents are coming out from Texas in a few weeks, and I'm not looking forward to trying to squash my father's conspiracy theory talk when he inevitably steers the conversation that way. Really, it's more of a swerve than steer...

Just keep the handy ol' phrase, "Hey Dad, that's a steaming pile of horseshit, so shut the fuck up about it."

5 hours is not "in the neighborhood". Suggesting as much is silly. Besides, visits are a two way street, they are (assuming here) more than welcome to come visit you in Boston, and it's a heck of a lot easier for two retirees to travel than it is for two working parents with two young kids and limited vacation time.

This. 5 hours being "in the neighborhood" is also a giant pile of horseshit.

1500 miles buffer, folks. 1500 miles. Minimum.

 

[jonKranked]

@Sandwich sounds like a rough spot. the closest i can offer to that is that my wife's mom is in the fox news crowd too. if it wasn't for the kids, my wife isn't sure she would be in contact with her and have a relationship with her (both her parents were full blown narcissists). but she sucks it up for the kids sake. to be fair, we have a slightly different situation in that her mom is only 90 minutes away.

i'm fortunate that I have a good relationship with my parents. i still call my mom weekly. we go on trips as a large family too (we all rented a house in Maine last summer, which we have been doing for a few years, but have been going there since i was a kid).

 

[mandown]

Crashiversary 2022 - 12 years of paralysis
I should take the day off work, or do something tonight that would require calling in sick tomorrow.

 

[Pesqueeb]

Crashiversary 2022 - 12 years of paralysis
I should take the day off work, or do something tonight that would require calling in sick tomorrow.

Why not both?

 

[stoney]

Here.

Groom now has COVID. That's 3 of 7 on our text chain, so super spreader event it is. There were a few folks from GA who "didn't look great" there, so we're assuming they might have been a source. But then again, we all flew in, so who knows. Hannah hasn't tested positive, but is showing signs, so she's home today, just to be safe.

Buddy who has been riding the Nukeproof is trying to convince me to keep it for Winter Park days, since the depreciation on it has largely occurred. I don't challenge that, but since I don't ride enough to go full burley DH, I don't think I need anything beyond the SB130. He's also coming over to get the Yeti, since he's looking for a new bike and wants to try it out for a bit.

He also told me that there is chatter about putting together a car for 24hrs of Lemons next year, and they want me as one of the core drivers. Since I can wrench in a functional capacity, but actually drive, my name popped up really quickly when he and another dude were talking about who they should try and bring in.

 

[6thElement]

Crashiversary 2022 - 12 years of paralysis
I should take the day off work, or do something tonight that would require calling in sick tomorrow.

#dislike/#like

 

[6thElement]

He's also coming over to get the Yeti, since he's looking for a new bike and wants to try it out for a bit.

Have you even ridden it yet??

 

[mandown]

Why not both?

hmm... maybe i'll try it now.

 

[jonKranked]

Groom now has COVID. That's 3 of 7 on our text chain, so super spreader event it is. There were a few folks from GA who "didn't look great" there, so we're assuming they might have been a source. But then again, we all flew in, so who knows. Hannah hasn't tested positive, but is showing signs, so she's home today, just to be safe.

we just had a hurricane 5 days before our wedding. that's a better story than covid.

 

[stoney]

Have you even ridden it yet??

None of your lip.

 

[Pesqueeb]

Re; family

My mom is a raging narcissist, fully enabled by my dad who has since passed. They got cut out 15 years ago and I regret nothing, except perhaps not doing so earlier. As for my in-laws, who are mostly tolerable people:

1500 miles buffer, folks. 1500 miles. Minimum.

This is the way.

 

[jonKranked]

Am I the only one whose parents have moved further to the left with age? They've still got a few old school views, but by and large have shifted into solid blue territory.

no.

 

[6thElement]

Am I the only one whose parents have moved further to the left with age?

Sounds like we might be in the minority of RM posters without crazy parents.

 

[StiHacka]

tendency towards mistrust of the government

This is a healthy tendency in every society.

 

[pinkshirtphotos]

OK, I have some family drama of my own- any takers?

The question here is collaborate, explain your timing boundaries. Share your itinerary and how everyone in the family is excited to do this. Offer them to come up for a visit, perhaps they'll decline. An apology call about being thoughtless and how after thinking you should have asked them to come up should iron out the water. Better than dropping the iron in your bath.


Tagging up with some e bikers tonight, I only ride acoustic. Plenty of e-bike bashing banter will fill the air tonight. I totally get e bikes though who doesn't like roasting them? Goal is to beat them all up the climbs. Nagging my e biking neighbor to just go climb ordinary bikes and build a fitness base seems fruitless. Good company none the less. Off to Malibu to hang for a while. California livin'

 

[Poops McDougal]

I sure could go for one of Pepe Osaka's Mezcal Coins right about now. Odd combo what with the giant hot pretzels, though...


Just keep the handy ol' phrase, "Hey Dad, that's a steaming pile of horseshit, so shut the fuck up about it."


This. 5 hours being "in the neighborhood" is also a giant pile of horseshit.

1500 miles buffer, folks. 1500 miles. Minimum.

That's certainly one way to approach it...

With the whole "keeping me alive before I was able to" thing, I feel the least I can do is say "shut the fuck up" with a little more tact.

And just to be clear: I was in no way implying that Sandwich was in fact, "in the neighborhood". I reasonably inferred from the post that the parents felt he was "in the neighborhood".

This is a healthy tendency in every society.

No disagreement here. Combined with the right factors, it produces some interesting outcomes, however.

 

[Adventurous]

we just had a hurricane 5 days before our wedding. that's a better story than covid.

Certainly better than my grandma dying on my wedding day.

I like to think the brief snow squall we got during our first look was her passing by us in the cosmos.

 

[jebfour]

Certainly better than my grandma dying on my wedding day.

That's rough. Sorry to hear that.

 

[Montana rider]

Eh your dad sounds like an asshole, but grandparent time is finite so as long as they're quasi-functional I would have probably gone the middle route and offered to meet half-way for lunch or something so they could see the kiddos.

But all my in-laws are in Chicago and only have mom on my side who is local and neither are egocentric racist boomers so YMMV...

So much of life is managing expectations though so good for you to stick to your guns if you see this as a perpetual issue manifesting itself in different ways down the line.

The "Sandwich generation" [i.e. taking care of kids / aging parents concurrently] ain't no joke, so boundaries are good.

 

[stoney]

Re; family

My mom is a raging narcissist, fully enabled by my dad who has since passed. They got cut out 15 years ago and I regret nothing, except perhaps not doing so earlier. As for my in-laws, who are mostly tolerable people:

This is the way.

I'm pretty sure my dad sees sending me off to Berkeley as one of his worst decisions ever.

 

[Sandwich]

Eh your dad sounds like an asshole, but grandparent time is finite so as long as they're quasi-functional I would have probably gone the middle route and offered to meet half-way for lunch or something so they could see the kiddos.

But all my in-laws are in Chicago and only have mom on my side who is local and neither are egocentric racist boomers so YMMV...

So much of life is managing expectations though so good for you to stick to your guns if you see this as a perpetual issue manifesting itself in different ways down the line.

The "Sandwich generation" [i.e. taking care of kids / aging parents concurrently] ain't no joke, so boundaries are good.

It's tough- they had a family friend die while we were headed down so they actually left the state during our visit. We had thought about inviting them to stay with us for a night but our condo was only two bedrooms and in the end they wouldn't have been around anyways.

I am hoping to plan a visit but I'm sorry, family comes first and we needed to have some time together. When I was looking at schools, they mandated that I had to stay east of the missisippi so travel would be manageable. Then when they retired they chose a location they knew would be difficult for me to get to, and moved there anyways. I've been straight with them about the difficulty of visiting, and they often complain about the drive when they come...and that's with two people, unlimited PTO, and a good amount of cash to stay in hotels along the way...or they'll fly spirit and complain about delays and whatever.

I know I'm ranting at this point, but I guess I had pictured having grandparents that took an active role in their grandkids' lives, and these guys don't, but expect me to go visit them multiple times a year.

 

[jimmydean]

Am I the only one whose parents have moved further to the left with age? They've still got a few old school views, but by and large have shifted into solid blue territory.

I was raised blue, it's kinda odd considering where I grew up. But dad was a professor, and while devout Catholic, both were very liberal.

 

[Pesqueeb]

No disagreement here. Combined with the right factors, it produces some interesting outcomes, however.

Agreed. Healthy skepticism, an involved, and watching populace is one thing. "ThEy aRe TuRnInG tHe FrEaKiNg fRoGs GaY!", is quite another.

 

[Full Trucker]

Sounds like we might be in the minority of RM posters without crazy parents.

Dad goes on anti-GOP rants fairly regularly. I don't think he has much of an issue with conservatism in general, but boy howdy does he hate the Republican party, and always has. I think know his disdain has only grown in the post-Trump era. Mom is pretty moderate, but leans a little left I think.

EDIT: come to think about it, Dad might be borderline crazy in the other (liberal) direction. LOL

 

[Westy]

When I moved to Seattle it turned out my father was going to be in town for a cruise. He said that he didn't have any time to see me because he had already made dinner reservations. I was cool with that.

 

[jebfour]

Dad goes on anti-GOP rants fairly regularly.

Trump
Qanon
Alex Jones
MTG
etc.

It's fair to say they provide some material to work with. I need to get off my ass and change my affiliation to "independent". Pretty sure my Dad feels the same way.

 

[iRider]

you wanna take marital strife? my "new" bike got delivered 2 days before vacation. that makes 7 bikes of my own. plus i have 2 or 3 other frames kicking around.

I mean, it is not my fault...or is it?

 

[iRider]

Sounds like we might be in the minority of RM posters without crazy parents.

I am part of that minority too.

 

[Sandwich]

thanks for all the advice, folks. I can see it from their perspective a little better. I understand why they are upset, and I did expect them to be...I just need them to take a step back and see it from where we are coming from as a family.

in other news, I just had a candidate go through the interview process only to reveal that she had accepted an offer prior to starting the interview yesterday...this morning. facepalm.jpg

 

[iRider]

Agreed. Healthy skepticism, an involved, and watching populace is one thing. "ThEy aRe TuRnInG tHe FrEaKiNg fRoGs GaY!", is quite another.

Isn't that what you do with all your chemtrails?

 

[Sandwich]

When I moved to Seattle it turned out my father was going to be in town for a cruise. He said that he didn't have any time to see me because he had already made dinner reservations. I was cool with that.

My parents will come to visit, then schedule lunch with their neighbors at a restaurant here in town. They travel 14 hours to visit then schedule time to have lunch with people they live around the corner from. One time they wouldn't pick up my sick kid from daycare because they were out to lunch with their neighbors, so I had to leave my work function to get him while they were in town.

 

[jebfour]

My parents will come to visit, then schedule lunch with their neighbors at a restaurant here in town. They travel 14 hours to visit then schedule time to have lunch with people they live around the corner from. One time they wouldn't pick up my sick kid from daycare because they were out to lunch with their neighbors, so I had to leave my work function to get him while they were in town.

I think I'm starting to understand your frustration.

 

[rideit]

Last day of bachelor pad living. Huge honey-do list. Maybe adderall and a gummie? Nah, then I’ll just go riding…

 

[rideit]

thanks for all the advice, folks. I can see it from their perspective a little better. I understand why they are upset, and I did expect them to be...I just need them to take a step back and see it from where we are coming from as a family.

in other news, I just had a candidate go through the interview process only to reveal that she had accepted an offer prior to starting the interview yesterday...this morning. facepalm.jpg

You must have missed the subtle clues that she *might* accept if you threw a lot more money at her?

 

[Toshi]

Am I the only one whose parents have moved further to the left with age? They've still got a few old school views, but by and large have shifted into solid blue territory.

In the case of my parents (Dad in particular), it's a pretty simple formula: take a relatively uneducated, christian-raised American with a tendency towards mistrust of the government, introduce him to the internet at a late age, and BOOM: radical conspiracy theorist.

/me has teh crazy parents



Berkeley hippies turned just full on conspiracist nutters.

Family stroll this morning. Going to ride some green trails at Trestle with 9 year old this afternoon.

 

[jonKranked]

I mean, it is not my fault...or is it?

no

 

[Pesqueeb]

Isn't that what you do with all your chemtrails?

It's a living. Population doesn't control itself you know.

 

[Pesqueeb]

I mean, if you do you'll be glad you did.

41 miles on roadie single speed through GoG. No ragrets.