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We all know it's true..

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by manziman, Dec 8, 2005.

  1. manziman

    manziman Stubby

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    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    > > > None. It should be opened when she brings it.
    > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    > > > Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never
    > > > be able to support you.
    > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    > > > It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
    > > > them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
    > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    > > > When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
    > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > How do you fix a woman's watch?
    > > > You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
    > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > Why do men fart more than women?
    > > > Because women can't shut up long enough to
    > > > build up the required pressure.
    > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
    > > > front door, who do you let in first?
    > > > The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
    > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    > > > A woman who won't do what she's told.
    > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > I married a Miss Right.
    > > > I just didn't know her first name was Always.
    > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
    > > > a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    > > > It's called a Wedding Cake.
    > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > Why do men die before their wives?
    > > > They want to.
    > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > Women will never be equal to men until they can
    > > > walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
    > > > gut, and still think they are sexy.
    > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------
    > > > In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    > > > Then God created Man and rested.
    > > > Then God created Woman.
    > > > Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
     
    #1 -   Dec 8, 2005

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  2. PatBranch

    PatBranch Turbo Monkey

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    hahahahahahahahahha......
     
    #2 -   Dec 8, 2005
  3. Heath Sherratt

    Heath Sherratt Turbo Monkey

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    You'll be married soon. I can just see it.
     
    #3 -   Dec 8, 2005
  4. BigMike

    BigMike BrokenbikeMike

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    awesome!

    And..... I saved it for when you're first amendment rights are violated and this thread is deleted :D
     
    #4 -   Dec 8, 2005
  5. Ciaran

    Ciaran Fear my banana

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    You can delete this thread but you can't delete the truth!!!!!





    :p
     
    #5 -   Dec 8, 2005
  6. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    #6 -   Dec 8, 2005
  7. manziman

    manziman Stubby

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    #7 -   Dec 8, 2005
  8. robdamanii

    robdamanii OMG! <3 Tom Brady!

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    This thread rocks.
     
    #8 -   Dec 8, 2005
  9. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    Harumph, I was busting BigMikes balls not yours.
     
    #9 -   Dec 8, 2005
  10. johnbryanpeters

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    Unlike cornrows, I mean manziman. :rolleyes:
     
  11. I Are Baboon

    I Are Baboon Run, Forrest, Run!

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    I laughed, especially at this one. Does that make me a bad person?

     
  12. Andy_B

    Andy_B Monkey

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    not until your wife reads it.
     
  13. johnbryanpeters

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    Nah, you started out bad...
     
  14. binary visions

    binary visions The voice of reason

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    I'd post my contributions but they'd get this thread deleted in a heartbeat.
     
  15. Biscuit

    Biscuit Turbo Monkey

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    I hear ya.

    I could brush my teeth, but they would just get dirty again.
    What's the point?