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wedding invitations and peruvian birth rates...

ALEXIS_DH

Tirelessly Awesome
Jan 30, 2003
5,426
220
Lima, Peru, Peru
so, am getting married soon (as in catholic wedding, followed by a reception and stuff, since i already signed my marriage license a couple months ago).

so, i wanted a smaller affair.
120 people invited, plus 10 or so small children.
we divided the invitations, 60 for me, 60 for my wife. booked the place and everything.

now, i have just realized the tricky part. 60 guests is fine for my wife. 35 family members, and 25 friends.
i have a problem. my mom and dad come from extremely large families (as in 8-9 sibblings EACH). that makes 35+ aunts and uncles, plus 20+ cousins. thats almost 60 people in blood relatives only.

Only inviting close relatives (as in aunts/uncles and cousins), I have only 2 invitations for my friends. One is my best friend and best man, and the other is a closer friend.
it seems i dont have any room to invite any of my bike riding friends, nor my co-workers or other friends. so i´d get married, and only have 2 friends with me.

now, i just cannot invite 10 more people, as the place i booked is good for 130 people only. I´d have to jump to a larger (150-200 people) venue... which raises the cost a good $7000-$8000 if i invite 50 more people.

so... what do i do?
am not really close to my family, and there is actually a few of them i straight out do not like very much... although they are family and it would be very rude to invite some aunts/uncles and not others....

it seems am in an awkward situation here...
 

CrabJoe StretchPants

Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick
Nov 30, 2003
11,565
424
Groton, MA
so, am getting married soon (as in catholic wedding, followed by a reception and stuff, since i already signed my marriage license a couple months ago).

so, i wanted a smaller affair.
120 people invited, plus 10 or so small children.
we divided the invitations, 60 for me, 60 for my wife. booked the place and everything.

now, i have just realized the tricky part. 60 guests is fine for my wife. 35 family members, and 25 friends.
i have a problem. my mom and dad come from extremely large families (as in 8-9 sibblings EACH). that makes 35+ aunts and uncles, plus 20+ cousins. thats almost 60 people in blood relatives only.

Only inviting close relatives (as in aunts/uncles and cousins), I have only 2 invitations for my friends. One is my best friend and best man, and the other is a closer friend.
it seems i dont have any room to invite any of my bike riding friends, nor my co-workers or other friends. so i´d get married, and only have 2 friends with me.

now, i just cannot invite 10 more people, as the place i booked is good for 130 people only. I´d have to jump to a larger (150-200 people) venue... which raises the cost a good $7000-$8000 if i invite 50 more people.

so... what do i do?
am not really close to my family, and there is actually a few of them i straight out do not like very much... although they are family and it would be very rude to invite some aunts/uncles and not others....

it seems am in an awkward situation here...
Invite GFF and DirtMcGirk.


It's only 2 guys, but they provide enough debauchery for 50 men.
 

kazlx

Patches O'Houlihan
Aug 7, 2006
6,791
1,646
Tustin, CA
I didn't invite any of my riding buddies....couldn't afford it. We basically invited family and close family friends. Weddings suck because somehow people you haven't seen or talked to in 10 years get butt hurt if they don't get invited. Anyone that you are actually cool with will understand. I invited friends over family that I don't talk to, but that's me. It's a crappy situation all the way around. Honestly, planning a wedding was one of the crappiest things ever. Paying for it was worse.
 

kazlx

Patches O'Houlihan
Aug 7, 2006
6,791
1,646
Tustin, CA
I'd just setup a time to go out with your boys and do something else, like suggested by stevew. They won't care if you tell them you can't afford to invite everyone.
 

stevew

unique white person
Sep 21, 2001
32,724
3,462
sh!t...i was living with my younger brother and didn't know he was getting married until the day it happened...if they're adults they'll fvcking get over it.
 

ALEXIS_DH

Tirelessly Awesome
Jan 30, 2003
5,426
220
Lima, Peru, Peru
hell yes!. RM wisdom has triumphed yet again.

my bachelor party is due soon. I will arrange with my best man to make it a "man´s wedding days".
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
21,678
452
NC
Weddings are for the people you care about to come and share a day with you.

If you don't want them to come share the day with you, they shouldn't be invited. No obligations. There's nothing rude about not inviting people you don't like or are not close to you.

My $0.02.
 

DORO

Monkey
Jun 15, 2006
131
0
my wifes from Lima. We recieved a few invites back with +8 and above in the guest check box from her friends and family. I found that quite hillarious.

Good luck with the list. That alone almost put a stop to our wedding.
 

ALEXIS_DH

Tirelessly Awesome
Jan 30, 2003
5,426
220
Lima, Peru, Peru
my wifes from Lima. We recieved a few invites back with +8 and above in the guest check box from her friends and family. I found that quite hillarious.

Good luck with the list. That alone almost put a stop to our wedding.
my dad´s side of the family is from a very humble background. Showing up at the door with 5+ "guests´s guests" is fairly typical for this side of my family, and for most lower-income/traditional peruvians... lol!.

weddings with assigned seating, tables and catering services with rsvp notes are quite a foreign concept for a large part of the population.

Its because, according to quechua traditions, weddings usually dont have tables and seats and most guests just hang around standing up and drinking; and the more the merrier.
old andean tradition says weddings are a community affair, so, instead of numbered seats and plates, the bride and groom just estimate how many pounds of food and alcohol they will need, and guests just show up at the door; and food/drinks are served until running out on a first come first serve basis.

families usually compete for which family gives the best gifts, in a very public affair. now, this last part is kinda cool, because among wealthy traditional families, is not very rare to get a car or a complete set of furniture for a whole house.

problem is; am stuck with the worst from both worlds.
my dad´s family is poor enough, that they will expect to be welcomed when they show up en masse... yet they are poor enough that i´ll luckily get 10 glass-sets and a mixer. :D
 

ALEXIS_DH

Tirelessly Awesome
Jan 30, 2003
5,426
220
Lima, Peru, Peru
I've long suspected you were an elitist... good luck on keeping out the riffraff :)
oh c´mon. why would i be one? because am a peruvian who takes part in a relatively expensive sport?
i cant be elitist, since as short as 2 generations ago, my family was herding goats and living off subsistance farming in the highlands. the riffraff is my family, and am actually inviting every member of my family and only 2 friends.

a few of them i dont like very much, not because they are poor, but because they are bitchy and will criticize the amounts of food to be served, my wife´s dress and the fact I didnt make a 400+ people reception (which i cannot afford).
 
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ALEXIS_DH

Tirelessly Awesome
Jan 30, 2003
5,426
220
Lima, Peru, Peru
Oops - just bustin your balls, didn't mean to hit a nerve. :)
lol. sorry at that, must be because being accused of elitism in SA is as tabboo as being called a racist in the US.

clasism is south america´s racism. we cant be racist as we are all pretty much shades of the same color... so we resort to class. :D
 

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
29,598
5,052
Riding the baggage carousel.
Had something similar. Wife's from a good catholic Mexican family. FSM only knows how many people on her side we invited before we even got around to the friends part. Fortunately my protestant cracker family consists of like 6 people, plus the 6 people I actually consider friends, doesn't make for a huge group. Can't imagine how we would have worked that out else wise. Good luck!