Hangar duty. FTS
**"wednesderp GMT"**
- Thread starter Pesqueeb
- Start date
Hangar duty. FTS
i will have something clever once i'm full of coffee.
Started work at 5:30 making the moneys.
Mornin!
Weird question for you primates...how does one make friends in a new place? Even though I'm back "home", I've found that even in the 5 years I was in CO, a lot of the relationships I had have either changed due to circumstances, or are not as strong as they once were.
So, given that at this age a lot of people already have their social circles set, and given that I'm not terribly outgoing, how does one go about this? It feels kind of weird to have practically no one to call a friend.
Weird question for you primates...how does one make friends in a new place? Even though I'm back "home", I've found that even in the 5 years I was in CO, a lot of the relationships I had have either changed due to circumstances, or are not as strong as they once were.
So, given that at this age a lot of people already have their social circles set, and given that I'm not terribly outgoing, how does one go about this? It feels kind of weird to have practically no one to call a friend.
i struggle with this too, and it's made worse by the fact that i'm introverted (note: we've been in our current neighborhood for about 6 1/2 years). having 2 young kids also compounds things. wife and i have our "parent friends" ie parents of the kids our kids are friends with, which in general are more acquaintances the good friends. what also made things worse is that we lost a lot of people who we thought were friends after the accident, a lot of people straight ghosted on us.
Okay, now that I got my snarky jab outta the way...
Second, for many reasons (some of which you noted below) it's not easy to make friends, even if it's in a familiar place. I've been in Colorado for over 20 years, am fairly extroverted, and find that it's still "not easy" to forge new relationships that go beyond "riding buddy" or whatever. So how does one do it? I think meeting folks is pretty easy, there's lots of ways to do that. Want riding buddies? Find the local MTB group and see if they have social rides. Want doggo friends? There's probably a Meetup group for that.
But going beyond that? That takes effort, man. I personally think you gotta make the effort. Call, text, connect, etc. Be understanding of life and schedules, that people have kids and jobs, find commonalities, etc. You gotta show up, plain and simple. There's a couple of guys that have recently come into my orbit that I get along with really well, and really respect and like who they are as people. One dude is married with three kiddos, the other I met through a gal that I'm friends with and they just broke up. Becoming and/or staying friends with either of these dudes will take effort. It'd be easy to not call, not text, not get together for a ride or a beer or whatever. I have other friends, friends that are easier to plan things with, are more convenient. And those friends are also awesome, and great people. Inertia is a bitch, breaking through that is tough.
I get it, you're introverted. I've met you. But you're also easy to talk to, reasonably funny and intelligent, and can get along with other humans. Being introverted doesn't mean you can't take the step(s) to make an effort to create a friendship. It might be difficult, but you've done plenty of difficult things before. And since you've already identified the desire/need, that's a good start I think. It'd be way easier to sit back and think "Eh, I've got my wife an doggos... I probably don't need friends..."
Oh, hai!
First, this isn't that weird of a question. So don't feel weird about it.
Second, for many reasons (some of which you noted below) it's not easy to make friends, even if it's in a familiar place. I've been in Colorado for over 20 years, am fairly extroverted, and find that it's still "not easy" to forge new relationships that go beyond "riding buddy" or whatever. So how does one do it? I think meeting folks is pretty easy, there's lots of ways to do that. Want riding buddies? Find the local MTB group and see if they have social rides. Want doggo friends? There's probably a Meetup group for that.
But going beyond that? That takes effort, man. I personally think you gotta make the effort. Call, text, connect, etc. Be understanding of life and schedules, that people have kids and jobs, find commonalities, etc. You gotta show up, plain and simple. There's a couple of guys that have recently come into my orbit that I get along with really well, and really respect and like who they are as people. One dude is married with three kiddos, the other I met through a gal that I'm friends with and they just broke up. Becoming and/or staying friends with either of these dudes will take effort. It'd be easy to not call, not text, not get together for a ride or a beer or whatever. I have other friends, friends that are easier to plan things with, are more convenient. And those friends are also awesome, and great people. Inertia is a bitch, breaking through that is tough.
I get it, you're introverted. I've met you. But you're also easy to talk to, reasonably funny and intelligent, and can get along with other humans. Being introverted doesn't mean you can't take the step(s) to make an effort to create a friendship. It might be difficult, but you've done plenty of difficult things before. And since you've already identified the desire/need, that's a good start I think. It'd be way easier to sit back and think "Eh, I've got my wife an doggos... I probably don't need friends..."
For the ones that have changed, why have they changed? Did those folks have kids, for instance? Or are they sociopolitically incompatible with your ideals? If the former, see my comments above. If the latter, well... dunno. And for the relationships that "are not as strong as they once were" I submit that they aren't as strong simply due to proximity and time spent interacting. There's a way to change those things, I think...
It won't be easy, but I believe in you, Starshine Bro.
good morning.
ohonhonhonhonhon! tis wednesb0rk !supposedly the heat will be gone by saturday
this is some BS weather
Some of us were forced to
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CAT III conditions currently. Tomorrow could be hero dirt. 
Garage lights stopped working, wifey not happy at 4am and left me a text to that effect. Voltage meter showed that the switch wires were hot. Dug out a spare switch at 5 am and swapped it in, all fixed sent da wife a photo of the lights working
Wifey happy ( for now)
Now enjoying my coffee and bullshitting on da monkey until I hit the road
Wifey happy ( for now)
Now enjoying my coffee and bullshitting on da monkey until I hit the road
"buy"Some of us were forced to buy a dog when their "friend" decided to move back east and live with their in-laws
Find a local ride night and keep going?
This is how I met some of my now close friends over the last few years. The biking allows you to share something in common and opens up many opportunities for conversation, post ride food/drinks etc etc.
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Time to get up and get ready to head home.......
Vacation has been fun, but I miss my bed.
Vacation has been fun, but I miss my bed.
i think there's definitely inherent difficulties to forging new friendships as adults, given the increased amount of responsibilities and conflicting schedules.
As you get older it gets even harder as most of your friends are either dead or have become couch turds fixated on the idiot box
You gotta try...seems to be that simple. Find a mutual interest and roll with it. I wasn't a popular kid in high school (shocker) but I've met a ton of people through daycare and school and it's pretty easy to drum up a friend to go have a beer with. Sometimes you just gotta take a chance and put yourself out there ("Hey I'm larry, great mustache bro, I had one back in the 70s when I drove a trans am. Wanna grab a beer at Hot Carl's Cafe?"). Most people will probably say yes, because they're just at introverted as you are. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't, and there's no use worrying about it. The big effort is not forgetting those folks after the first outing. I have a buddy I can't connect with because we both have children and jobs, but I always try and check in from time to time.
Actually, I'm gonna do that now.
last summer a guy that was starting to become a regular riding buddy just stopped showing up. at the time i didn't think anything of it, but would still message him to ride. i found out a few weeks later that he died from cancer. he hadn't told anyone in the riding community (that i'm aware of) that he even had it
This.
I'm jumping on this too. @mudgirl and I are moving in the next couple of months to Cabot VT (we'll sort of be neighbors with @johnbryanpeters!) and we know nobody in town (233 of them according to the 2010 census). I'm sure we'll find plenty of biking and skiing friends in the area, as we'll be about 40 minutes from both Kingdom Trails and Millstone plus dozens of other smaller local riding spots, but neither of us is very extroverted. I know it's going to take effort, and I've already started talking with a really cool couple down the road from our new place who run a permaculture farm/distillery. The tricky part, I feel, is going to be finding out what other social activities are going on around town that interest us, and finding a way to get involved in that stuff.
I'll have to clear some land, but we've got nearly 5 acres at the new place to play on. There's definitely going to be a big bonfire pit somewhere out there.
Morning all. Felt sort of nice to sleep an extra hour and not hit the gym this morning to take a little break. It has definitely been nice to see a difference. Down multiple notches on the uniform belt. Actual weight loss has slowed down quite a bit, but just trying to keep at it. My goal is to really stay focused for the long term, which I don't think is going to be all that hard, since I don't feel like I'm doing anything crazy, just making better choices. Just don't want to forget how good I feel and remind myself to stay at it when this becomes the 'new normal'.
i've never played d&d, but part of me almost wants to learn so i can get my kids into it
No imagine moving to a different country. 16 years later, I can count my friends with fingers on one hand.
That said, you still ride bikes?
Never played D&D, but I still admittedly play Magic the Gathering. Is it nerdy? Yes. Is it still relevant and the most dynamic card game I've ever played? Also yes.
I can only imagine. And yes, theoretically I do, though I haven't in a year. One of these days life will settle down enough that I'll head up your way and we can ride.
Sore ribs are sore. Ibuprofen diet will continue. Discovered I did slide on my shoulder, as there was crusted over raw meat on it last night.
And now for French toast.
And now for French toast.
I resemble this. But I’m not lonely. I have you internet and occasionally real life peoples, I perform music and rehearse every week with other people I like, and I have my work and ex-work buddies that text semi regularly.
My advice is to not socialize for the sake of it. Do what you want to do and if other people think that’s cool then you’ll gel.
Good job, Tubby!
I played D&D when I was in middle school/HS (until I discovered grlls and started driving), and I tried to get my kids into it... but, alas, it didn't take.
BOOM! Same shit, different format. Get back into it. Although I believe MTG is still *strictly* the domain of nerds, while D&D is apparently in vogue with normal people.
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sitting in airport....waiting for sourdough french toast....