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What is the dumbest thing you have done with a rental car?

kidwoo

Celebrating No-Pants Day
Aug 25, 2003
22,446
2,121
In my pants
I usually just enjoy driving around in them naked.

No need to stop for urination since febreeze came out.
 

$tinkle

Expert on blowing
Feb 12, 2003
14,591
5
got one for mardi gras, stopped to eat crabs along the way, and got a doggie bag. put the crabs under the rear seat (had to pop it out), and the air intake.

i think they burned it in the parking lot the next day.
 
my sister use to work at the oahu north shore hertz car rental. I rented a brand new seabring convertable for the two weeks i was in town. me and two other bro's got a little trashed and though we would drive it through a couple inches of surf, things got carried away and the car got stalled in 3 feet of break. it then began to get sucked out with the surf and filled with sand.

there was a guy on the beach moving sand with a dozer, we wrapped the chain around one of the front wheels under water in the surf and was able to recover the car, we dug out anough sand tp push the brake and shift it back into park and turn the key. It fired up after nearly a dead battery, but the chain ripped off the exhaust manifold on the drivers side when the dozer pulled it out. we doug out enough sand to fit everyone in and returned it to the lot and dropped the keys in the night box.

my sister called me a day later and said insurance covered everything but apparently i got charged for another week since in my drunken fury i parked in the parking lot next to hertz (some movie place) and drop the keys in thier movie return box.

good fun was worth another 240 bucks
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
36,637
3,452
Sleazattle
Was in Vegas for a wedding. We tailgated out of my rental car after the reception. Don't ask me why we partied in a parking lot in a city with a party going on 24 hours a day.

Anyway I got a little drunk. Went to shut the trunk of the car but someone balanced a beer can on the little latch loop thing. I kept slamming the trunk harder trying to cut the can in half. At some point the can got cut but the trunk was so bent out of shape it wouldn't latch. I then thought it would be a good idea to kick the trunk in an attempt to bend it back into shape. That didn't work either and the whole thing was quite a mess. At some point the designated driver (this still was MY rental car) wanted to leave so I tied an empty handle of tequila to the inside of the trunk as a weight to keep it closed. Everytime we went over a speed bump the trunk temporarily opened an empty tequila bottle. We I returned the car they asked if there were any problems and I just said no. I explained to a worried friend that it was a Chevy Corsica, they sometimes came out of the factory like that so Avis would never know the difference. I never heard another thing about it.
 

Serial Midget

Al Bundy
Jun 25, 2002
12,737
1,427
Fort of Rio Grande
I have always had the greatest respect for property that wasn't mine... except for one time on the way to the Grand Canyon in the mid 90s I was driving a Lincoln Towncar as fast as it would go - it had a governor that cut out at 110. For hours and hours I maxed it out and floored it again until it cut out again... After getting gas at some truck stop in Nevada the thing wouldn't start - EVERY idiot light on the dash would come on and the engine would do nothing. No noise, the engine wouldn't turn over, radio wouldn't work - everything had shut down. A call to Avis sent a mechanic out after a few hours - he had to reset the the electronic monitoring system. He also informed us that many rental cars, including ours, where equipped with memory chips that record the vehicles speed every 10 seconds... he offered this information unprompted.

:busted:
 

Spero

ass rainbow
Jul 12, 2005
2,072
0
Tejas
I found the rollover threshold of a PT cruiser. This particular one was by far the biggest sack of **** car I've had the pleasure of driving.
 

Austin Bike

Turbo Monkey
Jan 26, 2003
1,559
0
Duh, Austin
A friend rented a brand new cadillac (first driver ever) and took customers out. Totaled it in the parking lot of the restaurant on a concrete pole.

His company always declines the insurance and takes the risk. He had to submit an expense report for a brand new cadillac.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
36,637
3,452
Sleazattle
A friend rented a brand new cadillac (first driver ever) and took customers out. Totaled it in the parking lot of the restaurant on a concrete pole.

His company always declines the insurance and takes the risk. He had to submit an expense report for a brand new cadillac.
A former boss of mine got a cadilac stolen up in Canada and had to buy it. Company policy from that point on was to always decline the free upgrades.:disgust1:
 

skyst3alth

Monkey
Apr 13, 2004
866
0
Denver, CO
On a collegiate road trip we got a brand new van, 2 miles on the ODO, the plastic stuff still everywhere (protecting the paint, window sticker, seat covers, everything). We just reinacted Talladega Nights for the entire trip, I don't think that van has any rubber left on it. Also took it for a good bit of offroading up around Sunday River, good times.

 

brungeman

I give a shirt
Jan 17, 2006
5,173
0
da Burgh
I was involved in a road rage incedent while in a rental... some kid in a "winged out too fast too furious" Honda wanted to occupy the lane I was in while I was in it, and he proceded to push me off the road... he did this 3 times (he must have thought it was a joke) when I took exception to it and rolled the window down and threw a handfull of change as hard as I could at him... he then proceded to try again to run me off the road... I remembered I was in a rental and let him push me onto the shoulder... I rode the shoulder for a while before dodging around him and returning the favor and of course some more change! No visible damage to the car, can't say the same for the underside!:twitch:
 

Mr Tiles

I'm a beer snob
Nov 10, 2003
3,474
0
L-town ya'll
we had a rental car dirt track at my buddy's house years ago complete with a small double and a whoop section. actually peg'd the odometer a couple times on it...that was the good ol' days...
 

MTB_Rob_NC

What do I have to do to get you in this car TODAY?
Nov 15, 2002
3,430
0
Charlotte, NC
Having worked for the largest rental car company in the US for 3 years only the stuck in the surf story even comes close to what we as employees would do to the vehicles.
 

TN

Hey baby, want a hot dog?
Jul 9, 2002
13,970
1,218
Jimtown, CO
...or barebacked a midget prostitute in the backseat while parked in a church parking lot.
 

I_N_I

Chimp
Sep 25, 2007
26
0
Totaled one, then demanded another to be delivered, crashed another in Iceland, off roading, e-brake skids, bootlegger and j turns, and other stuff.
I'm known to get ruff on the rental.
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
29,643
2,359
Portland, OR
I wish I could find the pics.

When I was in Guam for my Navy Reserve 2 weeks, a redneck from Texas and I rented a car to take to the golf course. It was a white 4 door Nissan Sentra that had seen better days. It was missing the whole back seat, the drivers door panel, and the glove box door.

After 2 rounds of golf, we went off-roading on some sweet trails. We jumped it a few times and did the usual e-brake high speed maneuvers. I swear that car was cleaner than when we picked it up. I'm sure that car had been through much worse than us.
 

r464

Turbo Monkey
Oct 17, 2006
2,608
0
Earth
The Geico commercial with the Pips includes the line:
"Rental car smells like sunshine"

Where the hell are they renting their cars? At least this one I got was new. I suppose that singing "Rental car smell like swamp-ass" would not have been as good for a commercial, though...
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
36,637
3,452
Sleazattle
I followed Echo out into the desert at about 60 miles per hour (I was in a rental neon and he was in a Suburban). It was an interesting lesson in suspension and drifting.
The first year going to Old Pueblo I had that rental mini van. Driving in on the dirt road I was going 60+ through a wash and pinch flatted the tire. :clapping:

It held just enough air to turn around a get a can of fix a flat at a gas station.
 

ridiculous

Turbo Monkey
Jan 18, 2005
2,909
1
MD / NoVA
Took a Mustang convertible along the entire Road to Hana on Maui. The rental agreement says "DON'T TAKE THIS ROAD."
Did that in a pontiac g6. Also went the other way aroung the island, WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY more sketch. That car made noises when we were done.


Launched fireworks out of a 30 mi old rental ford f150 after july 5th. Had so many fireworks we just had to launch them from inside the car. hit the ac vent, had to pull over to find air elsewhere.

This january I got a pt looser while in detroit= donuts outside the marriot in an ice storm.

Got a rental John Cooper Works mini, did about 200' burnout at the intersection of rt 7 and baron cameron in VA. Only recently did the marks go away.

On a boyscout trip in New Mexico we blew out every speaker the radio had going across the state. We later hit a small calf that was trying to get out of a cow catcher. The mother chased the van and rammed it with her head at the next stop sign.

good times