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What should I do? (Ex girlfriend content)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Total Heckler, Nov 14, 2005.

?

Should I get back together with my ex?

  1. Yes

    16 vote(s)
    32.7%
  2. No

    33 vote(s)
    67.3%
  1. Total Heckler

    Total Heckler Beer and Bike Enthusiast

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    I'm just curious if anyone had any opinions on what I should do... Sorry this is a lame/emo post

    My ex and I have been broken up for 3 months now. We were together for 2 years and living with each other. The relationship was ended by me because I really needed some space. I felt married. I am young and really don’t want that right now. She now lives on her own and she has a better hold on her life now rather than living off of me.

    So my question is, should I try and get back with her? I am in love with her. I don’t know what to do. It makes me sick thinking about her with anyone else. I am a total mess right now. Should we try again or should I move on?
     

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  2. splat

    splat Nam I am

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    Well Maybe Windows is Bearable ! Unix Rules !
    Lets interpret this .

    I felt tied down , I booted her out , it been 3 moths with no action , now I'm horny.

    That about it ?
     
  3. Total Heckler

    Total Heckler Beer and Bike Enthusiast

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    Its not that man. =]
     
  4. Zark

    Zark Hey little girl, do you want some candy?

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    Normally with any breakup I say never go back. It didn't work last time, why would you expect a different result this time?

    But in this case your reason was stupid ;) Give her a chance again loverboy
     
  5. Ciaran

    Ciaran Fear my banana

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    ouch! BURN!

    I'll tell ya this much. If you get back together with her you better be ready for commitment.
     
  6. Spunger

    Spunger Git yer dumb questions here

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    I've lived with my girlfriend for the last 2.......ehhhh 3 years or so :) We've been together for at total of 5 1/2 years so far. By the way, we met when we were 18, now 23 so I consider myself in that "young" catagory.

    Truthfully if you want to get back the worst you can do is try for it and if she says no, then you gotta accept that at this point in your and her life, you guys wern't ment to be.

    Usually like Zark said, sometimes it's better that you split up, and sometimes things do work out, sometimes they dont. In alot of ways once you let something go sometimes it comes back, somtimes your S.O.L.

    Good luck though, at one point I had a girlfriend that I was that way about. It was probably because she was my first real girlfriend. Now that I've experienced a long term relationship I can see there's benifits of them that short term one's don't offer.
     
  7. Brunettes

    Brunettes Monkey

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    Females are nothing but trouble, end of story.
     
  8. Slugman

    Slugman Frankenbike

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    If you felt that there was too much commitment and that it was a BAD thing that you felt like you were married - then do not go back.

    You're obviously too young and feel the need to 'sow your wild oats', otherwise you would not have ended a 2 year relationship.

    You made the split - to get back together now would not resolve the issues that DO exist, and just lead to another break-up further down the road. And at that point it might be worse than it is now... or lead to infidelity when/if you are married.

    I'm not trying to put you down either, for all any of us know you latched onto this girl and got too serious too fast, and it was the right move.

    Go live your life and explore, grow up a little too.
     
  9. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    Especially brunettes.

    Badum TSS!



    Thank you, I'll be here all week.
     
  10. Skookum

    Skookum bikey's is cool

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    Marry your mt. bike.
     
  11. Total Heckler

    Total Heckler Beer and Bike Enthusiast

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    I mean, should I give it another chance? I mean, basically the last time we talked I told her if she was happy with how things are now, I will move on. But if she is willing to try again, I am game. I just really need to figure out what I want and what she is willing to do.
     
  12. OGRipper

    OGRipper Turbo Monkey

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    Are you just upset that she is doing fine without you? Did you expect her to just curl up in a ball and hide from the world?

    And are you sure you even have the choice? Does she want to get back with you? What happens in 6 months when you start feeling all tied down again?

    You dumped her and she has moved on. You probably should too.

    But one possible solution is to be non-exclusive. That has to go both ways and is pretty hard to make work. I don't know you but I'm not sure you're mature enough to pull it off.
     
  13. Total Heckler

    Total Heckler Beer and Bike Enthusiast

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    Man, maybe I should just move on...
     
  14. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    ok konabumm...
     
  15. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    Smartest thing I've read on RM all day.
     
  16. Ciaran

    Ciaran Fear my banana

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    If you're 20 I would say that you have a lot of more important things to do then get married. Go out and live and experience life.

    FWIW The wife and I got together when we were 27. We split up once and got back together. We were together 7 years before we got married, living together for 5 - 6yrs. Also, we both know that if we had met when we were 20 we would have hated each other.

    Your 20's are a time to learn and grow, more so than your teens. Who you are now may not be who you are at 25 or 30.
     
  17. OGRipper

    OGRipper Turbo Monkey

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    I posted before I saw your last response. You need to decide for yourself. There are people here who will tell you to try to make it work, and others who will tell you to move on. There was something powerful enough to make you dump her before, and I don't see what has changed other than the fact that you see her thriving without you. It seems selfish to suddently want her back. If you thought it was too much before, you should be happy for her and get on with your life, that is what you wanted. On the other hand, if she was too dependent on you before and you can see that she is now more indepedent, maybe there's a chance. We don't know either of you well enough to make the call...but I can tell you this, it's a rare breakup that doesn't result in some regrets, even if both sides will be better off apart. The mere fact that you are bummed doesn't mean you should get back together.
     
  18. OGRipper

    OGRipper Turbo Monkey

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    :confused: Say what now?
     
  19. effinewguy

    effinewguy Chimp

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    Seriously, let it go dude. I'm not you, but I've been down a similar road. I broke up, b/c I needed space. I got back b/c I missed her. Shortly after, I realized I really was unable to be w/ her exclusively. I ended up stuck in a lease, she wouldn't let go, and I wouldn't let her let go. We drug each other through the mud for over a year and a half of mutual destruction. It was the worst experience of my life. Now, I'm jaded.

    FNG
     
  20. splat

    splat Nam I am

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    Well Maybe Windows is Bearable ! Unix Rules !
    By the way , No matter what path you choose 6 months from now you are going to say to your self you made the wrong choice. In other words you are in a Lose - lose situation .

     
  21. skatetokil

    skatetokil Turbo Monkey

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    yeah man, consider yourself lucky if you manage to avoid the mutual destruction phase of a long term relationship that has been going on too long. you will have a sunnier view of humanity and will probably be a better adjusted person.
     
  22. Slugman

    Slugman Frankenbike

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    LOL - my wife and I were once in the same room not 5 feet away from each other and didn't even get introduced to each other... she was living with her BF and I was 'seeing' her freind. It was just not the time for us to meet.
     
  23. caputo1989

    caputo1989 Turbo Monkey

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    My bro was in that type of relationship where they btoke up and got together. He was in worse shape than ever before. (call and chain)
    It got so bad that they never did what he wanted to do resulting in a 35lb gain and he became an Alchoholic.

    I say No F-ing way!
     
  24. ThePriceSeliger

    ThePriceSeliger Mushhead

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    Man, I love RideMonkey more than the next guy, but there are good when it comes to bike related questions. Do what you want! You said you were/are in love with her. If you think thats what your missing in your life is this girl, then get her back dude!
     
  25. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    Life's sto short to get hooked up with one chick when you're 20....

    Dated a girl from the age of 18 until I was....23...almost 24 I think. I missed out on some "things"...."Sorry I have a girlfriend"....wah wah...

    We ended up breaking up anyway.... What a waste......

    My recommendation: At 20, never spend more that 1...MAYBE 2 months with the same girl.
     
  26. Brian HCM#1

    Brian HCM#1 MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!

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    Why did you break up, really?

    Was the grass looking greener?
     
  27. -dustin

    -dustin boring

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    i've been with my g/f since i was 21. we graduate pretty soon. that'll be when the fun really begins. and by "fun", i mean: that's pretty much do or die for me. i've been thinking about it, and have no idea what i really want to do.
     
  28. laura

    laura DH_Laura

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    this thread is funny. should you get back with her? I wouldn't be so sure she wants anything to do with you. you reason for leaving was weak at best. she's got a better hold on her life now? maybe she's moved on. hindsight is 20/20.
     
  29. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    The grass IS ALWAYS greener when you're 20!! Chicks are a dime a dozen. EXPERIENCE LIFE!!!

    No human being should utter the word "relationship" beofre the age of 30. Period.
     
  30. BKQuill

    BKQuill Turbo Monkey

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    Get out and experience what life has got to offer, you might be surpised what is out there waiting. There will be plenty of time to "settle down". Take it from an "old man".
     
  31. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    If her grass is green, run away.
     
  32. Brian HCM#1

    Brian HCM#1 MMMMMMMMM BEER!!!!!!!!!!

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    Definitely at that age there is way too much fun to be had,
     
  33. jimmydean

    jimmydean The Official Meat of Ridemonkey

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    Get back together, get married, then get a quick and easy divorce. The second wife is way better, trust me on that one. Life is great after you get your starter wife out of the way. It's like your first house. It's not a dream house, but you build some equity, get some tax write offs, then upgrade before you get too deep.
     
  34. H8R

    H8R Cranky Pants

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    Uh, the current housing market doesn't guaranty a 50% loss in the investment.
     
  35. blt2ride

    blt2ride Turbo Monkey

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    I agree 100% with that. Hopefully, she'll take you back...

    Off topic here, but a question for Noah--are you going to Fontucky this weekend? We're going to bring some beer and what not on Sunday.
     
  36. Thrillkil

    Thrillkil Monkey

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    is she hot?
     
  37. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    yes i think that is the important question. we need pics......naked pics
     
  38. jimmydean

    jimmydean The Official Meat of Ridemonkey

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    I said "It's like your first house..." not get your first wife AND your first house. Keep them seperate, like your bank accounts.
     
  39. Thrillkil

    Thrillkil Monkey

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    see, TJ has his priorities straight... do YOU?
     
  40. Trond

    Trond Monkey

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    It's completely normal to have second doubts when you're getting out of a relationship where you still like the girl, or don't have a definite happening to "label" the cause of breakup. Feeling tied up is only a matter of definition (relative, so different people have different limits when it comes to this). That also means that you'll start forgetting soon, and think things like "it wasn't that bad" etc.

    Then you'll see her thriving outside the relationship, and she is most likely more herself now than with you - and it's maybe those traits you fell for in the first place?

    In situations like this I think it's mostly chemistry that decides it. If you don't have it, then don't sweat it. Unless you have kids. Then you can start working on it. If you're young, then let it go. It sucks, cause she's cool, but just not with you - or vice versa. I have ex's like that, we're still the best of friends - but as a partner it didn't work out.

    I don't know if this made any sense at all...