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Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by r464, Feb 9, 2008.
Your bathtub is full of Fig Newtons.
What do you do next?
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Demand an exchange for Barbara's Fig Bars, they are way better. Maybe a mix of raspberry and blueberry bars...
Barbara's Fig Bars
Wait 'till valentine's day.
Call a female over.
Hide underneath the newtons with only my junk poking out of the top.
Get someone to hold my feet while I do a tub stand.
Invite the large waitress from IHOP over so she can get rid of them.
Add enough hypoid 90 weight gear oil to almost cover the fig newtons.
Simmer gently for four hours until tender and feed to the neighbors.
That would wreak no other.
Knowing you, I get the strange feeling that this isn't hypothetical.
Something you wanna share?
If this isn't hypothetical how would you manage procuring enough fig newtons to fill a bath tub? As I am assuming a normal bath tubs holds between 15 and 20 gallons. Where do you get 15-20 gallons of fig newtons?
The whole supply of Fig Newtons from every supermarket within a 5 mile radius of your house. Besides, I think a tub is probably closer to 30 gallons.
Do you ALWAYS have to pimp some quasi-counterculture alternative to every product ever mentioned on this site? Jesus Christ man! It gets old.
How else is he supposed to feel special?
Boohoo. Why do we have to hear about overpriced bikes and microbrew all the time. Wash the sand out
Thats just too many fig newtons. I think my brain crapped itself thinking about how many packages that is.
Naw. Our bathtub is roughly 23" x 51" x 14", 16,400 cubic inches, which comes out to about 70 gallons.
This keeps getting more insane
A few good bong hits and then things really get ugly.
nom nom nom nom nom
If you don't have a good idea of the volume of your bathtub then you, sirrah, are a Godless Communist!
I would sit on my toilet lean towards the tub and eat them, poop, repeat.
that amount does not exist.
what the hell is a fig newton?
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can and have lived on them before!!
I'm from Australia.
Are they like our koala bars? Those and crocodile bites are our top chocolates
Old, clawfoot tubs would hold 70 gallons. New jacuzzi tubs are pretty big, too.
I was ignoring the overflow. It's too small for the fig newtons to fit into.
clockworked - they're a soft cookie shell around fig paste.
oooohhhh. we have something like that. but the paste is made of a heap of different fruits.
if you had that and a multi vitamin, i reckon you could live on them for a pretty long time!
They're pretty good for food on the trail and I also hear that they fill bathtubs pretty well.
oh ok. i thought you might have been a waterhead or lived under a rock, but i stand corrected.
how are things going in my second favorite country?
yeah not too bad. i'm still trying to convince a confectionary company to develop the koala bar though...
its funny, not including australia, and after canada, your country is my 2nd favourite country too!
i visited sydney and perth and freemantle im 2001, it was awesome.
nice! one of those places is a proper city!
because of the mining boom Western Australia wants to become its own cuntry. i wish they would - they're practically Saffers anyway
Are the Newtons stacked neatly, or haphazardly tossed in?
Haphazardly. If they're stacked neatly, the Newton flux becomes too great and it goes critical.