[Biscuit]

"She looked like someone set her on fire and beat the flames out with a mail box..."

I like this one too, but I say "chain" or "screwdriver"

 

[ukjason]

Go **** a horse

 

[Nobody]

I like this one too, but I say "chain" or "screwdriver"

The 'mailbox' reference was homage to:

...where to begin.


Well, started off drinking early as I threw a housewarming party at my new place in Nashville. I got so trashed so fast... I did alot of bad things. Ill just list them.

1. Flipped Coffee table onto sleeping chick.
2. Tried to make out with a fattie as my skinny GF watched...and I got shot down.
3. Shot bottle rockets out of my mouth while riding a unicycle down the front steps. My face is burned now.
4. Pulled up the neighbors mailbox and used it as a hammer to smash my own mailbox.
5. Got completely naked and poured beer all over myself and had to be subdued and reclothed.
6. Vomited on my dog.
7. Threw a mango at the wall...which exploded.
8. Lit a vinyl lawn chair on fire with sparklers.
9. Cussed my GF and made her leave.
10. Broke the rented DVD 'Bad Santa' in half because it wasnt 'Badder Santa'
11. Would respond with nothing but "Durka Durka" to my iranian freind for the entire night.

.....and some other things too probably. People just keep calling me and telling me new things i did. It was a total blackout. I dont remember a bit of it. I have a few less friends today. I woke up with a bloody nose. I hope i didnt do a bunch of coke.

Pure Monkey Gold...

 

[monkeyboy424]

Is that a mirror in your pocket? cause i see my self in your pants...

how much does a polar bear weigh?