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Which do you think is worse: high speed falls or slow speed body slams OTB?

For little bitches like me, which is worse?


  • Total voters
    36

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
0
Oz
Got my ass handed to me by South Mountain today on the SB66. Bike was owning sh!t, I was riding too slow and safe. It was all going so well til my fat ass began to tire out, and then I got my dick put in the dirt by mother earth.

Little way further down the trail I did a high speed washout because I was already in a good amount of pain and wasn't paying the best attention.

Which do you think is worse?

I've cancelled my plans to go out drinking, I've tucked my wiener between my legs, and I've put on a pink tutu because I am a screaming little bitch. Now hopefully mother Advil and some ice can get me walking by tomorrow.
 
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Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
26,890
3,402
Riding the baggage carousel.
What about high speed body slams? I once broke my chain after a long climb, so I turned back down hill and bombed it. Screwed up on a water bar at speed and hit so hard I got the wind knocked out of me, broke a helmet, and got a bad case of dirt rash. /coolstorybro
 

Da Peach

Outwitted by a rodent
Jul 2, 2002
12,519
1,781
North Van
wrapping your leg around the bridge support on freight train over duff man so your toes touch your thigh then sommersaulting down a 5 meter rock face to land on the trail below is still worse.
You probably win. This hurt?
blackholio.png

I was going pretty fast here...there was no way I was gonna pull it back...
dellacrash.png

Most of my injuries have come from low speed lawn darting. Back when I rode beyond my skill level... I like to think I've smartened up a bit...

my computer keeps choking on the clip...crap resolution version.
 
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canadmos

Cake Tease
May 29, 2011
9,491
5,148
Canaderp
I'll take high speed washouts anyday over body slams.

At least with a washout, you kind of just keep skipping across the ground instead of dropping into it like a sack of lead potatoes.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
0
Oz
I can walk around today, but I think I cracked a rib as well. All night long I was shifting and not real happy to be alive.
 

bizutch

Delicate CUSTOM flower
Dec 11, 2001
15,921
8
Over your shoulder whispering
Bodyslam to hip. Crashed yesterday at Windrock that way and landed on a rock slab. I have a bruise that goes from my back to my penis and down the front of my quadricep. I actually have purple swelling on my unit fellas. It's honestly the worst crash I've ever had. I didn't break a single bone, but I did so much tissue damage that it looks like there is a football next to crotch. It shattered my phone, which was in my back pocket where I did not even land, or I'd post a pic guaranteed to make you all near puke.

Ask anybody who saw me.
 

eric strt6

Resident Curmudgeon
Sep 8, 2001
14,355
3,535
directly above the center of the earth
Bodyslam to hip. Crashed yesterday at Windrock that way and landed on a rock slab. I have a bruise that goes from my back to my penis and down the front of my quadricep. I actually have purple swelling on my unit fellas. It's honestly the worst crash I've ever had. I didn't break a single bone, but I did so much tissue damage that it looks like there is a football next to crotch. It shattered my phone, which was in my back pocket where I did not even land, or I'd post a pic guaranteed to make you all near puke.

Ask anybody who saw me.

use the web cam on your laptop to take a picture,,,,,, muahahaha
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
36,248
2,979
Sleazattle
Felix Baumgartner had the mother of high speed falls today. Seems just fine after. ;)
But if Dirt were in that capsule it would only be able to get his fat ass a few hundred feed off the ground. If he jumped there wouldn't be enough time for the chute to open and he would splatter on the ground like an un-canned chunk of spam. Moral of the story: falling always hurts more when you are fat.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
0
Oz
Just because I reach terminal velocity faster, dick.

Biz: I hear you man. My side/ass/ball bag are bruised like a champ right now. Cracked a damn rib too. I think its gonna be a few days before I can look my bike in the eyes again. Sorry you got to make love with the ground. I'll drink for you.
 

CrabJoe StretchPants

Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick
Nov 30, 2003
11,569
422
Groton, MA
There it is! I was wondering where DMG's monthy "Look at me!" thread was. Now I can delete my bookmark to the stolen sunglasses thread.
 

bizutch

Delicate CUSTOM flower
Dec 11, 2001
15,921
8
Over your shoulder whispering
Warning: Nasty bruises attached.





Bruise goes above the waist of my underwear, around to my back and extends across the waist to my unit and goes down the length of my boxers on the inside of my thigh. Right thigh barely fits in my work pants.
 

mandown

Poopdeck Repost
Jun 1, 2004
13,644
1,152
Transylvania 90210
My slow speed injury it's is long and ugly. Small rock drop on Schleyer broke my fork (rental bike) and I dislocated a shoulder and got a concussion along with my abrasions. A slow speed OTB few years later dislocated my shoulder again. And my neck breaker was at a relatively low speed, from what I remember.
 
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ALEXIS_DH

Tirelessly Awesome
Jan 30, 2003
5,307
129
Lima, Peru, Peru
Warning: Nasty bruises attached.





Bruise goes above the waist of my underwear, around to my back and extends across the waist to my unit and goes down the length of my boxers on the inside of my thigh. Right thigh barely fits in my work pants.
is that a condom wrapper on the floor?