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Which of you two Greenies was this???

J

JRB

Guest
THE TALE OF THE IRISH SAUSAGE

Seamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two, but didn't have a lot of money between them. They could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.

Murphy said, "Hang on, I have an idea."

He went next door to the butchers and came out with one large sausage.

Seamus said, "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!!!!"

Murphy replied, "Don't worry, just follow me."

He went into the pub, where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jameson's whiskey.

Seamus said, "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in?? We haven't any money."

Murphy replied, with a smile, "Don't worry. I have a plan, Cheers!"

They downed their drinks, then Murphy said, "Okay, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper, and you go down on your knees and put it in your mouth."

The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued doing this from pub, to pub, to pub, getting more drunk all for free.

At the tenth pub Seamus said, "Murphy, I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and my knees are killing me."

Murphy said, "How do you think I feel!!! I lost the sausage in the third pub."
 
J

JRB

Guest
This thread is NOT about dogs or green poop, dammit. :mumble: Stay on course.
 
qualude

qualude

Monkey
Oct 27, 2004
237
0
The County of Kings
Sorry Loco...back on track...

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, “Dat’s dem”. The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. “Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage op dere,” says Gerry, “Put dem in a peeper bag.” The clerk does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop.

They get into Gerry’s van and drive until they are high up in the hills and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop. “Dis looks loike a grand place, eh?” says Gerry. “Oh, yeh, dis looks good,” replies Paddy.

They flip a coin and Gerry wins the toss. “I guess I git to go first, eh Paddy?” says Gerry. He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down for a few seconds followed by a ‘SPLAT’. As Paddy looks over the edge of the cliff he shakes his head and says, “Fock dat, dis budgie jumpin’ is
too fockin’ dangerous for me”

PART TWO

A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar ‘peeper bag’. He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun.

Hi, Paddy. Watch this,” Seamus says and launches himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows the parrot’s head off. Seamus continues to plummet until there is a SPLAT!, as he joins Gerry’s remains at the bottom. Paddy shakes his head and says, “An’ oim never troyin’ dat parrotshooting nider”

PART THREE

A few minutes after Seamus splats himself Sean strolls up. He too has been to the pet shop and he walks up carrying the familiar ‘peeper bag’. Instead of a parrot he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches himself of the cliff with the usual result. Once more Paddy shakes his head - “Fock me Sean, first der was Gerry wit his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrot shooting and now you blimmin’ hen gliding”
 
J

JRB

Guest
I don't get it. I guess it was funny if you know what 'hen gliding' is.
 
J

JRB

Guest
SkaredShtles said:
Say it out loud in an Irish accent yah friggin' n00B.
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uhm - I guess spanish accents are the only thing I am familiar with. :help:
 
urbaindk

urbaindk

The Real Dr. Science
Jul 12, 2004
4,819
0
Sleepy Hollar
Westy said:
My dog loves greenies. They can't be any more dangerous than the sticks he also likes to eat.
Click to expand...

My dog ate a Bic pen and it came out the other end whole. I doubt a greenie's gonna kill her.
 
urbaindk

urbaindk

The Real Dr. Science
Jul 12, 2004
4,819
0
Sleepy Hollar
I Are Baboon said:
So did you keep the pen and write with it? Seems like a waste to throw away a pefectly good pen.
Click to expand...

I was thinking about it but I'd have to break my habit of chewing on pens first. (ewwww!)
 
DNA

DNA

The human raccoon
Jan 31, 2003
1,443
0
NH
Tenchiro said:
Ah yes, Doggiecrack. Mine have quite a healthy addiction to those things.
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My freakin' dogs, who are generally very well behaved, managed to get open the cabinet that holds the greenies while I was gone. They ate all the greenies, of course, and then shredded the bag. I found pieces of it all over the house for a week.

NO MORE GREENIES!
(for a couple of weeks at least)
 
J

JRB

Guest
narlus said:
yet you knew what a 'budgie' was?

interesting.
Click to expand...
Actually no, but even in Irish translation, I could figure out where the punch line was supposed to be.

What is a budgie???
 
MtnBikerChk

MtnBikerChk

Squeaky Wheel
Aug 3, 2001
5,478
38
Southern New England (where there ain't no TITUS d
qualude said:
Found this and numerous other stories...I stopped giving em to my dog...
Greenies Story
Click to expand...

That's why you should never give your dog a treat or a bone or a chewie etc unsupervised. If you see them eating them whole, stop giving them (not to mention you should always watch them to make sure they don't choke).

I think some of the dogs that had problems had digesting problems to begin with.

poor pups.

However, our girl loves em and we'll still give em to her.
 
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