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whos got the best finger jokes?!?!?!

insanitylevel9

triple nubby
Jan 7, 2011
2,005
5
hopkinton ma
as some of you may have not already heard my finger tips for cut off by a garage door just about to the first knuckle a bit past the finger nail. any way who's got the best finger related joke, come on you guys have to have some good ones

aaaannnnnddddd go
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
as some of you may have not already heard my finger tips for cut off by a garage door just about to the first knuckle a bit past the finger nail. any way who's got the best finger related joke, come on you guys have to have some good ones

aaaannnnnddddd go
So if you were putting the bikes in the garage at the time, do you forfeit the "Safe Biker" avatar now?








BTW - that's fvcking horrible and I'm really sorry to hear that happened to you.
 

Kevin

Turbo Monkey
A guy gets drunk in a bar and ends up leaving with a rather oversized woman.
Arriving at her house both are drunk and extremely horny and go directly up stairs to engage in some wild sexual intercourse.
After a while the guy asks her "yeah baby do you like that?"
Woman answers "yeah its reall good but would you mind taking that ring off your finger? Its starting to hurt a little..."
Guy answers "Oh thats not my ring, Its my watch."
 

stevew

unique white person
Sep 21, 2001
33,258
3,894
did i not tell you to go sit on santa's lap and ask for your finger tips back?
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
insanitylevel9 just made the bottom of the list for people I'd call when a dike springs a leak. Right under Tony Iommi.
 

H8R

Cranky Pants
Nov 10, 2004
13,965
35
insanitylevel9 and his drunk friend are stumbling home one night. The friend trips over his own feet and hits the pavement, head first. Hard.

insanitylevel9: "Holy sh1t, are you ok?!?"
friend: "uhhh...aaghh......uhhh...."
insanitylevel9: "Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?"
friend, after a little math: "uh....2.25?"
 

insanitylevel9

triple nubby
Jan 7, 2011
2,005
5
hopkinton ma
insanitylevel9 and his drunk friend are stumbling home one night. The friend trips over his own feet and hits the pavement, head first. Hard.

insanitylevel9: "Holy sh1t, are you ok?!?"
friend: "uhhh...aaghh......uhhh...."
insanitylevel9: "Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?"
friend, after a little math: "uh....2.25?"
So far this is winning