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Why does it take so long to fire a worthless leech?

laura

DH_Laura
Jul 16, 2002
6,262
15
Glitter Gulch
So this new job is turning out to be quite the cluster ****. While I am enjoying most of it, the babysitting that goes on with my community outreach specialists is ridiculous.

Three of them have missed at least one day of work a week since I started. They are not getting assignments to me on time, are fudging numbers of participants in the program and have basically been doing jack **** in the interim of not having a supervisor.

So one of these worthless employees tried to turn in a time sheet to me last week that had over time on it. OVERTIME! This girl is here 30-ish hours a week tops. Left off blatant things like being 3 hours late to work one morning and leaving 3 hours early for a dentist appointment one evening.

Well, I had my talk with her, and now I have to set up a "counselling" session with her and HR to discuss her absences and the importance of having a totally accurate time card. (Are you ****ING KIDDING ME???????????) Then she will put on official warning about her behavior. Then who knows what will happen. This woman is wasting so much of my time right now it is not even funny and sucking money from the grant every hour that she is clocked in.

Why does it take so long to fire someone? (I know the answer to this, it's more rhetorical) She should've been on the curb months ago.

I swear if we get re-funded for June, everybody gets the ax.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
36,621
3,441
Sleazattle
It takes so long so crappy bosses just can't fire you because they are a dick. You typically have to document infractions and give them a second chance. It can save money from lawsuits in the long run.
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
We'll use this thread for Today's Thread of Work Related Stupidity. :)

As posted elsewhere this morning...
doughboydeluxe said:
For my sport management class I am teaching them about how to set up a bracket. For tournaments with less than 16 teams and more than 8 teams, you subtract the number of teams in the tournament from 16 teams to find out how many teams get first-round byes. One of my students was in my office as I was showing her how to set up a bracket.

Me: OK, let's say you have a 10 team tournament. How many teams get byes?
Her: Well, 16-10 is 5, so 5 teams get byes.
Me: :mellow:
Her: That's right, isn't it?
Me: Does 16-10 equal 5?
Her: Yes.
Me: :wall:
Her: :confused:

So after we determine that 16-10 is actually 6, we move on, and then we start to discuss how to set up a 13 team bracket.

Her: OK there are 13 teams, and 16-13 is 4, so four teams would get byes.
Me: :wall:
Her: :confused:
Me: 16-13 is 3.
Her: OMG it is! Well I don't have college algebra today, so I'm not thinking about math.

Yep... these are my college students.
 

TN

Hey baby, want a hot dog?
Jul 9, 2002
13,970
1,218
Jimtown, CO
I bet if there was a secret forum without Laura in it, there would be a thread with a pool as to how long it would take before she axed someone.
 

ridiculous

Turbo Monkey
Jan 18, 2005
2,909
1
MD / NoVA
maybe she isnt motivated enough, have you tried putting some people under her? Perhaps sending her to have a talk with the Bobs?
 

LordOpie

MOTHER HEN
Oct 17, 2002
21,033
1
Denver
There's a new woman at work here... who's very 'friendly' with the shoulder touches, little hugs and the like. She calls me "baby" and then the other day, she refered to herself as "momma".

1. Stop fockin' touching me!

2. I'm freaking out!
 

urbaindk

The Real Dr. Science
Jul 12, 2004
4,831
0
Sleepy Hollar
There's a new woman at work here... who's very 'friendly' with the shoulder touches, little hugs and the like. She calls me "baby" and then the other day, she refered to herself as "momma".

1. Stop fockin' touching me!

2. I'm freaking out!
I had a boss like that, when she wanted something, she would come up behind you and try to rub your shoulders. I hated her.

1. Stop fockin' touching me!

2. I'm freaking out!
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
36,621
3,441
Sleazattle
There's a new woman at work here... who's very 'friendly' with the shoulder touches, little hugs and the like. She calls me "baby" and then the other day, she refered to herself as "momma".

1. Stop fockin' touching me!

2. I'm freaking out!
I used to work with a close talker. I explained to him that he needed to stand back at least at arms length. To reinforce the habit I would swing my arm violently when talking to him. If he got close enough to get hit, it was his own fault.
 

Jim Mac

MAKE ENDURO GREAT AGAIN
May 21, 2004
6,364
281
the middle east of NY
The name of your thread explains it all: like a leech, they HANG ON.....I have fired a handful of people this past 5 years, and each one clung to this job as if their life depended on it, and to some extent it did - they needed to suck everything out of it and never give back anything.

Felt kinda bad on the last guy, who needed the health insurance for his diabetes, but then again I remembered how he not only fvcked the company, but also the people we serve (yes, i work for those "special" people). Finally flushed the leech down the toilet!
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
0
Oz
I dunno, but a hand job would be pretty motivational.

"Get the work done, and if you're a good boy...."

Productivity up 10,000%.
 

Da Peach

Outwitted by a rodent
Jul 2, 2002
12,622
1,989
North Van
I have a guy here who get's drunk. He's still around.

I received a company email from the safety department about the drug and alcohol policy yesterday. It states that there is a zero tolerance and drunkenness on the job results in immediate dismissal.

Staaaaarrrtiiiiiiinnnnnnng now! Oh wait. Staaaaaaarting now!

Maybe next week.

Ridiculo-tarded.
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,417
0
Oz
Where are these magical jobs?
I am on the virge of getting fired for taking too many sick days, even though I have a confirmed case of this monster flu that is killing folk.

Coming in drunk, faking my hours... Jesus, can I send my resume out?
 

BMXman

I wish I was Canadian
Sep 8, 2001
13,854
0
Victoria, BC
There's a new woman at work here... who's very 'friendly' with the shoulder touches, little hugs and the like. She calls me "baby" and then the other day, she refered to herself as "momma".

1. Stop fockin' touching me!

2. I'm freaking out!

Now that I have been working in this country the amount of sexual comments and harassment going on is amazing. They say and do things that would have caused a number out firings and court cases when I was in California.... I'm still on edge whenever I hear a comment but apparently "I just need to relax!".....D
 

Austin Bike

Turbo Monkey
Jan 26, 2003
1,559
0
Duh, Austin
I once had to fire someone who hadn't set foot inside the office for 4 months. It took 2 more months of paying him before the gravy train ended.

Blame the government.