I know you think they are cute, but until I'm allowed to park my bike in my cubicle, keep your rug-rats in your living room shag and out of the industrial pile of our hallways. Take a vacation day, call in sick, go AWOL 
Womb-turds in the office
- Thread starter mandown
- Start date
"womb turds" tag added.
My womb turds came to visit me today. But I'm allowed to bring my bike in to my office so I guess that makes it ok.
my wife brings our womb-turds to my work for lunch on occasion. the people here like it, spoil them with candy, and frequently ask when they're coming back. i guess the atmosphere where i work is a lot less lonely and bitter than your cubicle farm 
You complain a lot...I know you think they are cute, but until I'm allowed to park my bike in my cubicle, keep your rug-rats in your living room shag and out of the industrial pile of our hallways. Take a vacation day, call in sick, go AWOL
I believe it is legal to leave your bike at home alone.
dude, our farm is miserable. and i get the lunch visit. but the all-day extravaganza of noise and activity is just weak. we don't offer day-care. if you need a day to handle your kid who can't sit quietly in the corner and read, find a job that does or take a day and go to the park. stop distirbing me from my ridemonkey scrawlings, this is important stuff!my wife brings our womb-turds to my work for lunch on occasion. the people here like it, spoil them with candy, and frequently ask when they're coming back. i guess the atmosphere where i work is a lot less lonely and bitter than your cubicle farm
not my fault the world is broken.
and it probably is only a fraction of what it seems. sometimes i just post the same complaint twice
this thread is done.
All day? That's fvcking retarded. There was a lady at the coffee shop the other day trying to get some work done on her computer with her 4 boys (all under age 10) running roughshod all over the place. It was amusing... for about 5 minutes. Then it got really annoying. She was completely ignoring them as they wrestled on the tables, bashed each other up, cried a bunch... screamed even more. 
This is what I'm talking about!All day? That's fvcking retarded. There was a lady at the coffee shop the other day trying to get some work done on her computer with her 4 boys (all under age 10) running roughshod all over the place. It was amusing... for about 5 minutes. Then it got really annoying. She was completely ignoring them as they wrestled on the tables, bashed each other up, cried a bunch... screamed even more.
I pop my headphones on - big over-ear noize-blocking ones - and crank the Static-X to block the sound. But the vibrations from the stomping come through the floor and right into my spine.
Paging DirtMcgirk to the white courtesy telephone..........
......it saw you w/ the headphones and said, "I'll fix that mf'r."....stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp......Took the nephews, 5 & 7 to their first DH race last weekend which included camping....despite the fact the eldest has selective hearing everyone lived, I was suprised. Oh, and they did the kids DH on their little bikes...tons of fun.
J
You should wear one of these to work holding a rotted cabbage and talk incessantly about how many many months he/she is. Speaking in the third person is of course a must while doing so.
oh and yes...taking multiple kids into work with you for an entire day is pretty nuts.
I've taken my kids in for brief stints maybe 45 mins at most...on days when I was off anyway but I needed something, or someone needed something from me.....
I've taken my kids in for brief stints maybe 45 mins at most...on days when I was off anyway but I needed something, or someone needed something from me.....
Mine come here, but it's a small agency with a big, isolated break room. Our kids don't watch TV at home, so if the 4 & 6 yr old come in, they just sponge the boob tube til mom's done with her class.
Then, they emerge, the office ogles over how cute and adorable they are, get fed junk food by the boss and I look like a sturdy man with good genetics.
Customers, on the other hand...well, I have duct tape in my desk and it works great.
You should show them your hooks and encourage them to try it. Should scare mommy so bad, she want to let them roam the streets where its safe.
Then, they emerge, the office ogles over how cute and adorable they are, get fed junk food by the boss and I look like a sturdy man with good genetics.
Customers, on the other hand...well, I have duct tape in my desk and it works great.
You should show them your hooks and encourage them to try it. Should scare mommy so bad, she want to let them roam the streets where its safe.
I find it quite hilarious that someone with MD's choice of hobbies can't handle the sound that a couple kids make.
Perhaps if they were wearing black makeup and making deathmetal "BAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW" sounds it would be less distracting for you.
Just one for the suggestion box.
Perhaps if they were wearing black makeup and making deathmetal "BAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW" sounds it would be less distracting for you.
Just one for the suggestion box.
poopdeck is still a womb turd
i sit in my cube with my headphones on. if you don't want to look at my mohawk and nail polish, then you don't have to see it, and the headphones keep the industrial strength sounds in check.
i did get a good chuckle when a woman in my department complained about it. she is the most baby crazy person i know (dying to have one, hasn't yet, and her clock is pounding). even she thought it was out of hand.
funny enough, a few weeks ago one of my coworkers brought her kid in for a bit and he was on a sugar-induced rampage. i posted something about it on facebook before i knew who owned the rug rat, then found out that the parent was one of two coworkers that i'm friends with on facebook. sure enough, she spotted my post and told me i could babysit any time i wanted. she had a good sense of humor about it and admitted that junior was way over the line, likely due to some sugar he had been fed earlier in the day... a break from his normal hippie organic/veggie-esque diet.
kids are like bmx bikes - they a lot in common with things that i like, but are a little too small and squirrely for my tastes. i'm happy other people like them, but i'm not dropping coin on them. i'm pretty sure i'd be an awful father, so I went ahead and just had my tubes tied a few years ago to save me the worry.
i did get a good chuckle when a woman in my department complained about it. she is the most baby crazy person i know (dying to have one, hasn't yet, and her clock is pounding). even she thought it was out of hand.
funny enough, a few weeks ago one of my coworkers brought her kid in for a bit and he was on a sugar-induced rampage. i posted something about it on facebook before i knew who owned the rug rat, then found out that the parent was one of two coworkers that i'm friends with on facebook. sure enough, she spotted my post and told me i could babysit any time i wanted. she had a good sense of humor about it and admitted that junior was way over the line, likely due to some sugar he had been fed earlier in the day... a break from his normal hippie organic/veggie-esque diet.
kids are like bmx bikes - they a lot in common with things that i like, but are a little too small and squirrely for my tastes. i'm happy other people like them, but i'm not dropping coin on them. i'm pretty sure i'd be an awful father, so I went ahead and just had my tubes tied a few years ago to save me the worry.
wedged firmly between undying teen-angst and an early mid-life crisis
I was pretty sure you were transgendered.
We are were 'womb turds' once, and a few of us still seemingly act that way..
While not exactly true to the spirit of the Darwin Awards...I think you are a winner.
Where's MooShoo? We've been at least one womb-turd short around here lately. And what about that other failure, Red Robin or whatever??
Speaking as a former Womb-Turd.......