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HAB

Chelsea from Seattle
Apr 28, 2007
10,665
960
Seattle
Stoked. Saw the last bit of RSA- Mexico. South Africa fvcked up on the Mexico goal, still good for them to get the tie.

USA - England. Discuss.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,182
8
TN
I should -rep you forever for that.
HAB =

Nation's Soccer Fan Becoming Insufferable

WILMINGTON, DE—As the 2010 World Cup approaches, friends, family, and coworkers of 32-year-old Brad Janovich are growing less tolerant of the exuberant behavior of the United States' lone soccer fan.

"Who's got World Cup fever?" Janovich asked his officemates at Credit Solutions Friday, failing to notice their silent stares as he reported for work clad in the sole Team USA jersey sold this year. "I do! I've got World Cup fever!"

"Check out this World Cup wall chart I just bought," added Janovich, who is the only American citizen currently aware that the World Cup begins June 11.

According to sources only peripherally aware of the World Cup, Janovich's infuriating behavior first became apparent during a Super Bowl viewing party last February when he repeatedly used the phrase "American football" to describe the action on the field. In recent weeks, Janovich has also begun referring to the supposed suspense involved in choosing the players for the U.S. "side," and has struck up several extended but one-sided conversations concerning figures such as "Kaka" and "Ronaldinho," generally mystifying and alienating everyone he has come into contact with.

Yesterday Janovich sent an office-wide e-mail about the controversy surrounding the new World Cup ball, and the message was instantly deleted by all of his coworkers.

"Decorating his cubicle with World Cup stuff is fine, I guess," said coworker Greg Lafferty, who endured several elevator rides in which he politely listened to the lone American soccer fan evaluate international matchups before realizing that Janovich was discussing the outcomes of soccer games and not impending wars. "I myself have a Yankees pennant at my desk. But Brad has all these scarves draped all over everything. They hang into other people's areas, and when they ask him to move them, he responds by explaining what the scarf means. It's driving us nuts."

"Last week he was talking about how 'footy' was really heating up and asked me to come over for the 'friendly' against Turkey," said Janovich's friend Beth Gleason, who has known the only projected U.S. viewer of this year's World Cup broadcast since college. "I love Brad, I really do, but when he talks like that I want to punch him in the goddamn face. Especially because, when I asked him what he was talking about, he just said the same thing again, only slower. I was like, 'Brad, don't talk like that. People don't talk like that.'"

With only a week to go, Janovich's singular, almost unconscionable degree of soccer fanhood has only intensified. Credit Solutions employees reported that a crude "World Cup countdown calendar" appeared on the break room wall Friday, the same day that everyone in Janovich's division arrived to find him wearing Umbro soccer shorts and placing a World Cup bracket on every desk.

In addition, coworkers reported that it is not uncommon for Janovich to spontaneously start humming or singing repeated snatches of songs evidently composed exclusively of the sound "olé" while seated at his desk.

"I had absolutely no idea what 'FIFA South Africa 2010' meant," said Lafferty, who made the mistake of asking Janovich to explain. "When he told me that's where the soccer games were and that the time difference meant he'd be getting up early to watch them, all I could think was that maybe he'd be too tired to talk about them afterward."

Janovich has also extended invitations to everyone he knows to accompany him to the Newgate, a pub in downtown Wilmington that will be showing the World Cup live and is favored by British expatriates.

"It'll be nice to finally be among other fans," Janovich said. "And speaking as a fan, it's really great to see Hotspur and Arsenal and Aston Villa supporters all come together for the Three Lions, though I'm hoping the Yanks can channel the spirit of the 1950 shock horror. But that's not as important as uniting in our love of the Beautiful Game, as any football [sic] fan will tell you."

Newgate regulars agreed that Janovich's enthusiasm was unique.

"That American fan? He's harmless, I guess," bartender and lifelong Tottenham supporter Martin West said. "Though he gets pretty tiresome with all his footy rubbish, and he can really get annoying when we're all just trying to watch in peace. Thank Christ he's the only one."
http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-soccer-fan-becoming-insufferable,17553/
 

Capricorn

Monkey
Jan 9, 2010
427
0
Cape Town, ZA
my national team did damn good today. It was a big pity though that one dude ran abck to cover instead of springing the offside track. instinctive, but mistaken. Hope they've shaken off first match nerves, and can no get down to business. But, they wont go very far. Not being negative, just noting they ranked closer to the back end of the top 100. It's been like for never that a consistent giant killer has emerged from that low down in the rankings. But i hope they put up a good performance no matter where they end up :)

Local sangoma (fortune teller/traditional healer/witch doctor) predicted Argentina FTW. I dont believe in fortune telling, but i do root for my team of choice. Go Argentina!
 

dante

Unabomber
Feb 13, 2004
8,814
8
looking for classic NE singletrack
They're a lot of fun when you're drunk... provided you're the one with it.
I'm a big fan of things that make noise, don't get me wrong. But when the entire game is 90+ minutes of BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ it gets a little tiring.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,182
8
TN
I'm a big fan of things that make noise, don't get me wrong. But when the entire game is 90+ minutes of BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ it gets a little tiring.

I saw this on ESPN. I just figured there were alot of flies because it's Africa. :rofl:
 

IH8Rice

I'm Mr. Negative! I Fail!
Aug 2, 2008
24,550
490
Im over here now
I'm a big fan of things that make noise, don't get me wrong. But when the entire game is 90+ minutes of BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ it gets a little tiring.
its 1000x more annoying when you are actually there.
baseball games in Japan are like this with all types of weird noise makers. it was annoying as all hell when i went to some games there
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
37,057
3,933
Sleazattle
Nothing like a round of ties to really get the competitive spirits going. Gold Stars for everyone!

I think soccer is a great game but they need to change the rules up a little to make it more relavent, mainly more scoring. Hand out more penalties for taking dives than hard playing and get rid of offensive offside rules.
 
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HAB

Chelsea from Seattle
Apr 28, 2007
10,665
960
Seattle
get rid of offensive offside rules.
No way. The game would suck without offsides. It would turn into people hanging out in front of the net, and having the ball bombed downfield at them. Lame. I'm with you on dives though. People pass up on good scoring opportunities all the time in order to try to get a PK. That's a change I can get behind.
 

HAB

Chelsea from Seattle
Apr 28, 2007
10,665
960
Seattle
yup, the name for a game where the foot is used almost exclusively - crazy eh? ;)
Soccer's actually a better name for it historically. Football was originally the batsh*t insane game played by hundreds of drunk villagers at a time, that evolved divergently into Rugby League, Rugby Union and Association Football, or soccer.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
37,057
3,933
Sleazattle
No way. The game would suck without offsides. It would turn into people hanging out in front of the net, and having the ball bombed downfield at them. Lame. I'm with you on dives though. People pass up on good scoring opportunities all the time in order to try to get a PK. That's a change I can get behind.
Yeah, it would be horrible to have some actual scoring in the game
 

HAB

Chelsea from Seattle
Apr 28, 2007
10,665
960
Seattle
Yeah, it would be horrible to have some actual scoring in the game
My point is that watching soccer without offsides would be like watching a Shaq play. Put him in the paint, lob him the ball, let him back in. Yes, there'd be more scoring, but it would be way uglier.


I'd also argue that the rarity of scoring is a lot of what makes soccer awesome.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,645
664
Front Range, dude...
Germany. Anything less is unacceptable. Although I see the US making its best showing yet...if we beat the Brits they will burn down the island.
 

Capricorn

Monkey
Jan 9, 2010
427
0
Cape Town, ZA
Holy crap those horns are going to drive me nuts..........
the vuvuzela (voo voo zeh lah), 120-odd decibels of blow-the-words-outta-your-mouth_so_you_cant-hear_yurself_cheer_cry_or_die..
businesses were requesting workers to take along ear plugs. jeez that thing is loud. probably explains why the south african soccer team was so crap all these years: cou;ldnt hear themselves in think in the din that thing makes :P

anyways, FR vs Uruguay was the most boring game. jeez. Ireland poor bar stewards. probably still seething over in limey.. Anyone know what happened to Henri? Wonder what happened to Ribery's statutory rape charges. mmm.
anyways, today should be a good game: Argentina vs Nigeria. I wonder if the latter can 419 the scorecard, but it's gonna get all Messi :P
 

IH8Rice

I'm Mr. Negative! I Fail!
Aug 2, 2008
24,550
490
Im over here now
the vuvuzela (voo voo zeh lah), 120-odd decibels of blow-the-words-outta-your-mouth_so_you_cant-
a quick look at Wiki to see these annoying things and i come across this

Legal challenge
In early 2010 members of the Nazareth Baptist Church claimed that the vuvuzela belonged to their church, and threatened to pursue legal action to stop fans playing the vuvuzela at the World Cup.[18]
Vuvuzela - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia@@AMEPARAM@@/wiki/File:Vuvuzela_red.jpg" class="image"><img alt="" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/37/Vuvuzela_red.jpg/300px-Vuvuzela_red.jpg"@@AMEPARAM@@commons/thumb/3/37/Vuvuzela_red.jpg/300px-Vuvuzela_red.jpg
:facepalm:
 

scottishmark

Turbo Monkey
May 20, 2002
2,123
20
Somewhere dark, cold & wet....
Soccer's actually a better name for it historically. Football was originally the batsh*t insane game played by hundreds of drunk villagers at a time, that evolved divergently into Rugby League, Rugby Union and Association Football, or soccer.
indeed, however if you had to choose one gameto call 'football' which would you take from the game played mostly with hands and the game played mostly with feet? ;)
 

MMcG

Ride till you puke!
Dec 10, 2002
15,457
4
Burlington, Connecticut
I hope France doesn't get out of group play - they don't deserve to be in the tourney anyway.

Maradonna coaching Argentina eh? He handled the ball from the sidelines as much as his players from the field.
 

dump

Turbo Monkey
Oct 12, 2001
5,568
364
Holy crap is Argentina looking good.
I don't think so actually. Nigeria never showed up and played very sloppy... school-boy style mistakes. Don't see Argentina going very far with that kind of play. Messi pretty ineffective at the end of the day. Still, a win is a win.
 

dump

Turbo Monkey
Oct 12, 2001
5,568
364
Maradonna coaching Argentina eh? He handled the ball from the sidelines as much as his players from the field.
Looks like he wishes he was still out there on the pitch. If coaches had to pass a drug test, he would get sent hone like usual.
 

HAB

Chelsea from Seattle
Apr 28, 2007
10,665
960
Seattle
I don't think so actually. Nigeria never showed up and played very sloppy... school-boy style mistakes. Don't see Argentina going very far with that kind of play. Messi pretty ineffective at the end of the day. Still, a win is a win.
They came out flying (which was when I posted that) but did slow down quite a bit.

That said, it's true Messi didn't score, but he had a boatload of chances. A large part of that was Nigeria being sloppy, to be sure, but at the same time, he's not going to have the bounces all go against him the whole tournament.
 

HAB

Chelsea from Seattle
Apr 28, 2007
10,665
960
Seattle
indeed, however if you had to choose one gameto call 'football' which would you take from the game played mostly with hands and the game played mostly with feet? ;)
Oh, it's a much better descriptor for soccer than it is for American football, no question. I just said "historically", not "logically". :D