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Worst Date stories

Damn True

Damn True

Monkey Pimp
Sep 10, 2001
4,015
3
Between a rock and a hard place.
Let's hear about your worst date ever.

Here is one of mine:

Karin was an attractive woman I'd met on match.com. We exchanged a few messages online before we agreed to meet for dinner.
She greeted me enthusiastically, outside the resturaunt and we went in and were led to our table. Almost before my butt hit the seat, she started asking questions.

"So, what are you looking for in a woman?" she asked.

"Well, I...."

"Are you one of those men who doesn't know what he wants?"

"I think I...."

"How do you feel about sex? Are you comfortable with it?"

"I beg your...."

"When was the last time you had sex? Did you use protection?"

"That's none of...."

By this point I knew the outcome, and knew I would never see Karin again, but didn't want to be harsh and just get up in the middle of the meal and split. Buuuuut......

Things went on in this vein through the appetizer, the main course and into dessert. Finally, I stopped trying to answer her.

Finally, she fell silent. I looked up from my dessert in surprise.

"You're very handsome," she said.

"Thanks." I smiled. "And thanks for meeting me for dinner."

She paused again. "What do you think of me? Give me some feedback."

I hesitated.

Her face fell. "Did I overwhelm you?"

"I just...."

"I talked too much, didn't I?"

"Well, you...."

"You think I'm a loser, don't you? Oh, God." And she started to cry.

Eventually, I coaxed her to dry her tears and ushered her out to her car, where she asked to see me again and give her another chance. I gave her a pat on the shoulder and backed slowly away.
 
Brian HCM#1

Brian HCM#1

MMMMMMMMM MAGA!!!!!!!!!!
Sep 7, 2001
32,221
381
Bay Area, California
True's worst date ever........

This girl comes over to his place for bible study and all she wanted to do was get naked and score.:D True was devistated with her actions.
 
OGRipper

OGRipper

back alley ripper
Feb 3, 2004
10,735
1,247
NORCAL is the hizzle
Was she hot? :rolleyes: :p

The only horror story I can come up with was not really a date but more of a drunken hookup at a party where I ended up in a dark bedroom with one of the many ladies I had been chatting up over the course of a few hours of drinking and smoking weed. My buddies rescued me by flicking on the lights just as we were about to get down to business. Suffice to say it was not the girl I thought it was... :eek: :eek:

To this day I still have no idea how that happened.
 
The Kadvang

The Kadvang

I rule
Apr 13, 2004
3,499
0
six five oh
OGRipper said:
Was she hot? :rolleyes: :p

The only horror story I can come up with was not really a date but more of a drunken hookup at a party where I ended up in a dark bedroom with one of the many ladies I had been chatting up over the course of a few hours of drinking and smoking weed. My buddies rescued me by flicking on the lights just as we were about to get down to business. Suffice to say it was not the girl I thought it was... :eek: :eek:

To this day I still have no idea how that happened.
Click to expand...
That is trouble.
 
lovebunny

lovebunny

can i lick your balls?
Dec 14, 2003
7,317
245
San Diego, California, United States
i got 2. the day me and my gf had our first date i broke my wrist riding. and i had no way to urgent care. so she stayed with me all night.
then on our 1 year anniv. i was near peanuts(im deathly allergic) and one of my eyes swelled shut. so we ended up just sitting around waiting for it to go down instead of a nice harbor cruise. yes we are still together after a years and 2 months. and weve had many "interesting" experiences
 
manhattanprjkt83

manhattanprjkt83

Rusty Trombone
Jul 10, 2003
9,660
1,237
Nilbog
My worst date went like this:

Last year when i was an intern at the company i work at now, there was this super hot girl that was interning with me, well we flirted constantly and finally a bunch of us decided to go out for some drinks after work. awesome huh. Well the drinks went well, and her and I got a bit drunk (forgot to mention we were hitting it off). Then she says, "well if you and I are going to go out after happy hour i need a skirt, and you need to help me find one at the mall". UHHHH OK :love: so there i am drunk in the mall in the dressing room with this girl half naked watching her put on skirts. Still going great.

Well here is the bad part, i drove an old school beat up jetta in college, the driver side lock was broken so i had to open the car from the passenger side...But she didnt know this so it looked like i was just being a gentleman, anyway this was the day the lock decided to break on the passenger side. So there we are stainding out in the rain in honestly the second spot in from the door at this huge mall, and I cant get into my POS jetta. Had to call the cops (by this time she called her freind and left), the cop couldnt slim jim it...3 hours later i was home.

she was cool though, and things ended well...


funny though, total :nuts:
 
stinkyboy

stinkyboy

Plastic Santa
Jan 6, 2005
15,187
1
¡Phoenix!
1st date: "How about a movie? There's a new film called Natural Born Killers that looks interesting..." "Oh?...Aaaaaa...OK, I guess" I loved it, she was freaked out by the film and by the fact that I liked it and insisted I take her home immediately...
 
stinkyboy

stinkyboy

Plastic Santa
Jan 6, 2005
15,187
1
¡Phoenix!
4-5th Date (different gurl). She's driving us to the bar to hang out with friends. She throws in The Eagles Greatest Hits :eek: . I nonchalantly eject it and throw it out the window while on the freeway just to be a clown fully intending to replace it. She bitches a little and drops the subject, and a couple hours later, I look around and see she has left the bar without me...
 
Craw

Craw

Monkey
Mar 17, 2002
715
-1
stinkyboy said:
4-5th Date (different gurl). She's driving us to the bar to hang out with friends. She throws in The Eagles Greatest Hits :eek: . I nonchalantly eject it and throw it out the window while on the freeway .
Click to expand...
Flawless victory.
 
Snacks

Snacks

Turbo Monkey
Feb 20, 2003
3,523
0
GO! SEAHAWKS!
stinkyboy said:
4-5th Date (different gurl). She's driving us to the bar to hang out with friends. She throws in The Eagles Greatest Hits :eek: . I nonchalantly eject it and throw it out the window while on the freeway just to be a clown fully intending to replace it. She bitches a little and drops the subject, and a couple hours later, I look around and see she has left the bar without me...
Click to expand...
Hahah! That is funny!
 
llkoolkeg

llkoolkeg

Ranger LL
Sep 5, 2001
4,335
15
in da shed, mon, in da shed
My worst date was one that never happened. I was in London on an extended learning gig with several people in my sophomore AP English class. One of the girls was very shy and quiet, very smart and studious and quite physically attractive to me(although she did not fit within the high school ideal). While we were all hanging out at a Renaissance Dinner Theater(and getting drunk), that girl and I paired off and started talking about life, school, etc. We'd never really talked intrapersonally before and actually hit it off quite well. Undoubtedly, it was the shandies that humidified the panties and loosened her normally reserved tongue. After a few hours of close talk and hand-holding, we agreed to meet later that night to sneak out past curfew(midnight) and go pubbing.

Well, to make a long story short, she stood me up and after an extended period of foolish optimism, I ended up going back to my room and getting plastered with my roomie, all the while feeling like total shi+. When I took her aside and asked about it the next day confused as to why, she hemmed and hawed with BS excuses(that I brushed aside) before finally admitting that her girlfriends stopped her as she was leaving to meet me and warned her against getting involved with a "pothead". I didn't bother denying the charges and we spent the next two years stuck together in the same AP classes silently denying each other's existence, not through animosity but mutual embarrassment.

Since then, I have certainly had dates that didn't go so well and relationships break up for reasons both mundane and bizarre, but that one stands out as the worst because of the lingering interaction we were forced into, the stupid reason(IMO) for the standup and the tender ages of those involved.

Oh, by the way, to this very day, I have a souvenir keychain w/ an inserted photo that was taken of me drunk at the Renaissance Restaurant that night, complete with sheepish grin, glassy eyes, feathered longish hair and- I shudder to admit it- a "Leave it to Beaver" sweater vest. :help:
 
Mackie

Mackie

Monkey
Mar 4, 2004
826
0
New York
stinkyboy said:
1st date: "How about a movie? There's a new film called Natural Born Killers that looks interesting..." "Oh?...Aaaaaa...OK, I guess" I loved it, she was freaked out by the film and by the fact that I liked it and insisted I take her home immediately...
Click to expand...
Oh, I got that one beat:
I got set up with this nice girl who had just moved to NYC from Colorado. She was a little overwhelmed by the city, so i took a day and walked around with her......we ended up stoping by the Angelica and just walking into a movie -

It was Crash - with the whole car-crash-eroto-sex-pain-bleeding-Rosanna-Arquete thing going on. :eek: :eek: :eek:

More than half of the people in the theater walked out.
We stayed. It was not until after the movie was over that I realized that she was not quite comfortable with that type of film........
 
dh girlie

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Feb 11, 2002
8,056
0
A state where you never find the dance floor empty
stoney98 said:
My first "date" with the girls I dated through the latter part of college (the one who went to spain if you guys rememeber that), was to see "y tu mama tambien".
They had some crazy sex scenes (uber graphic), I had no idea what I jsut walked into. The walk home was very quite and tense, i was like "wtf? this is a nice girl!? wtf did we jsut watch?"
yeah.. super uncomfortable. Then we humped like bunnies for 2 years.
Click to expand...

yes! Yes! I remember her! You boasted about all the chicks you were gonna nail when she left and then when she left you cried while listening to Avril Levine!!!






You honestly didn't think I would NOT say anything if you brought up girl-from-spain!
 
dh girlie

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
Feb 11, 2002
8,056
0
A state where you never find the dance floor empty
stoney98 said:
like an "isht spigot" so wrong, so funny.
DHg- I ran into her on the street in front of my house Friday night. Very weird. I hadn't seen her since October. We started "dating" again, but she pulled the plug, and stopped calling. It was weird. Very weird.
Click to expand...
Maybe she heard about what a pussy you were after she left cuz you listened to avril levine and cried...HAHAHAHAH! :D
 
Velocity Girl

Velocity Girl

whack-a-mole
Sep 12, 2001
1,279
0
Atlanta
dh girlie said:
Hmm...I'll have to think about that...I'm so damn charming that people can't help themselves but have fun when they are with me...but I'd have to say off the top of my head, I'm with Velocity Girl on this one...
Click to expand...
:thumb:
 
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