[JohnE]

Some funny shizzle here...fo rizzle!
http://gawker.com/5879703/these-are-the-worlds-worst-roommate-stories

My worst room-mate was a co worker early on in my AF days. He had all the acoutrements of a white trash idiot...4 wheeler, 4x4 truck, a bunch of over priced crappy electronics, bad teeth etc. I came home one night to find him jumping on his bed in his underwear..."WTF are you doing?" sez I, amazed. "C'mon, you should try it, its fun!" sez he. I still have nightmares to this day. I move out not long thereafter, and he starts using my new phone # as his...I had to tell about 30 creditors that no, he doesnt live here. I relay messages to him and get a boilerplate "Thats bs, I paid that guy..." every time. I started giving his creditors the 1st Sgts number...

Running a close second is my ex wife...shudder...

 

[-BB-]

I had a pretty bad room-mate in SF.
There were three of us. We all paid our rent individually, 1/3, 1/3, 1/3... three checks to the landlord.

Room mate #3 started hanging out late, closing out the bars, doing coke, coming home with random chicks and partying till 5 in the morning... mean while I had to be up at 6am to get to work.

One day we get a call from the land-lord, "You need to be out by next Monday, or pay me $3500 in back rent." WTF? Turns out room mate #3 hadn't paid his part in almost 5 months. We confronted him about it and asked why he hadnt told us about this. His response was "It wasn't any of your business!". WTF? None of my business? I'm about to get evicted for your F'd up actions. My GF and I (she was the other room mate) said, ok... We will pay the back rent, but you have to pay us back AND you have to move the F out within 3 months. Well we only got paid back about 50% of the money and the douche room mate didn't move out after month #3.

By the end it was like, "Hello Ramsey (his name)... How are you? Move the F out!" "Pass the salt... and move the F out!", "Can you turn down the stereo? AND MOVE THE F OUT!!" Finally, 6 months later we got him to leave.

 

[jimmydean]

Running a close second is my ex wife...shudder...

This.

My redneck roommate was a lot of fun, but he did make me nervous.

 

[Pesqueeb]

Never really had a bad roommate. The worst I had was one guy in college who collected star wars figures and liked to pin them up on the walls in their unopened packaging. "Collectors items" you know. As far as I know that guy never got laid while we were in school. Did live with another guy for just a couple weeks who had a lot of bad roommate potential but fortunately that problem took care of itself quickly.

 

[CrabJoe StretchPants]

My worst roommate ever was Polandspring88. What a douchebag that kid is.

 

[MMike]

Only ever had 1 room-mate. A female one at that. She was not interested in having sex with me. That makes her the worst room mate ever.

 

[bean]

Only ever had 1 room-mate. A female one at that. She was not interested in having sex with me. That makes her the worst room mate ever.

That just makes her normal.

 

[jimmydean]

Only ever had 1 room-mate. A female one at that. She was not interested in having sex with me. That makes her the worst room mate ever.

And yet you married her. Interesting.

 

[gonefirefightin]

similar to MMike, all my roomies were women.

but one took the cake. she moved in, things were good, she lost her job, I hired her.

6 months go by and she is eating all my food without replacing it and not picking up after her self. I give her a simple job to deliver payroll checks to 30 of my guys working a thinning job on the coast a few hours away. she gets pulled over on a traffic violation and is arrested and extradited to norfolk for some navy violation and I have to drive three hours to get her vehicle out of impound to recover 40 grand worth of payroll checks.

sold her vehicle and cashed her last payroll check to cover my losses.

apparently she did two years in a navy prison for stealing and going AWOL. I realized I had a lot of stuff missing after the fact.

 

[ICEBALL585]

Had an ex-roommate that used to have loud sex with his fat girlfriend while other people were at our house. He was such a douche bag and also would tell everyone that he was just using her for someone to do.

Last I heard they got married this past summer.

She was sooooo gross.

 

[Banshee Rider]

I lived in a house with 4 other people the first few years of college, one of whom was a typical douche hockey player. He loved taking little bits of other people's food in small quanities, including my milk. One day I had enough of it and emptied and entire bottle of Milk of Malaysia into my milk, shook it up, and left it there 2/3 full (the optimum quantity to steal from). He didn't steal my stuff after that. I've only had female roommates after that, too.

 

[sanjuro]

Ask my ex-roommates about their worst roommate.

 

[kickstand]

http://www.ridemonkey.com/forums/f2/so-i-let-my-friend-tattoo-me-my-bedroom-234051/

 

[CrabJoe StretchPants]

http://www.ridemonkey.com/forums/f2/so-i-let-my-friend-tattoo-me-my-bedroom-234051/

kickstand wins the thread!

 

[ultraNoob]

Worst roommate was in my Army days at Ft. Huachuca, AZ. He was a white trash douchenozzle that showered once a week, left spit bottles all over the place un capped. Ate my food and didn't replace it. Drew the line when I caught him in my underwear drawer grabbing a pair of my boxers cuz he didn't feel like doing his laundry.

Told my 1SGT that I was gonna snap if he didn't move out or if I didn't get new diggs. Command put me up in transient officer billets for 2 weeks while they completed his transfer to Ft. Polk, LA. 1SGT also gave me $40 to buy new boxers. I bought him a case of beer in return.

 

[bean]

My worst was a former friend. I lived in a house with him and four other people after graduating from college. It started out well. We all hung out and had a good time. And then he got fired from his job and went insane. He started throwing house parties on weeknights that ran until three or four in the morning when others had to go to work in the morning. He started having an affair with a married woman. They had loud sex in his room which was next door to his girl friend's room, and then denied anything was going on. Eventually they gave up the charade which led to all sorts of awful stuff with the girlfriend who moved out sticking us with her rent payment. Around that point the cuckolded husband was showing up at hour house at random times demanding that we tell him where his wife was. After about two months of that misery we convinced the landlord to let us break the least, but the stipulation was that we lost the entire security deposit and had be out within three days.

In the same house, there was of course the usual mooch. He didn't like me from the beginning because I refused to tow his piece of **** car across the state with my truck. He also ate food everyone's food, used other people's bathrooms so that he didn't have to buy toilet paper, etc. And he had the endearing quality of giving gifts to my girlfriend and encouraging her to break up with me. But he was nothing compared to the other guy.

 

[blackohio]

I rented a room to a former co-worker (he left the company on his own) who stopped doing web mastering to work at a gym. He got all cockdiesel in the process in a exceedingly small about of time.

When he was moving in he showed me some vile of liquid cialis as he called it. What's a 24 year old need dickstrong juice for I ask myself. I find out later in the most horrible of situations.

He starts bouncing rent checks to me, does the standard "What? I have $1900 in the account!" No, Chris you don't. If you had I wouldn't be holding this piece of paper that clearly states you don't.

It's like this for a month or two. During this time I meet his girlfriend. Also a gym rat, If her clit wasn't the size of my flaccid dong i'd be amazed. But sex with them was no joke a 3.5-4 hour ordeal. I don't know if this included foreplay or not but it definetly included him pounding her through the floor. The first night was like normal sex. 20 minutes or so so thumping, grunting and nashing of teeth. It got weird here. I heard Tarzan cum, plain as day. I could hear some heavy breathing for about 15 seconds. Then all the pounding, grunting and nashing of teeth started up again. This would continue for a duration of 3-4 hours. Im pretty sure after just a few months of dating Chris her vagina looked like a third world country.

So the two thing that kinda sealed the deal for me was when he started telling me about the Cop that comes to his gym and was trying to buy Steroids from him and two, when I came home from work to find two of my super expensive pans on the burners, cranked to high with nothing in the but a few files of stuff, smoking as the pans super heated.

It was then I told him how this wasn't working and i'd need him out by the end of the month.

Later-on, I discover a nearly dis-assembled early 80's chevy bronco in my crawlspace behind the garage wall. I guess he had been collecting parts for his lades beef truck and storing them there.

 

[blackohio]

Oh, and the viles contained the compounds used to make steroids. He would I guess drive to mexico, pull all the **** in his air box in his car and drive home, then make steroids in my kitchen. I don't even know if that **** works that way, but that garthok was doing it.

 

[JohnE]

I forgot about the suitemate who was stealing my food. I could tell because he popped open a new jar of peanut butter and opened a new loaf of bread. I got to him and confront him, and he denies it and flies into a rage. I say "Dude, its cool,, just tell me if you do it..." He continues to deny it, so I count my bread slices and make notes. He continues to denydenydeny. Then I find his pocket knife in my room that he was jimmying my door with. I start locking up my food in a wall locker. Problem solved and I got a free Buck knife...
Later I broke u with a girl, and she starts dating him. She ends up preggo, and my first response is "Not mine! I never threw the ball that deep..." and he takes it like a man, claiming she was on the rag, because he checked...I stopped the conversation there.

 

[blackohio]

Im pretty sure I was someones worst roommate too. College. 4 bedroom house, 4 roommates. 3 of us all knew each other from skating, other dude I went to high school with. This rookie, we'll call Bob was a pig. His car was literally full of trash, his room a mess. He contributed zero to the beer, weed, coke nights but managed to always be doing something. Bob had the cable bill in his name and it would be shut off almost every month. We all split bills so bob would just take the money for the bill and spend it elsewhere.

He worked at a domino's and would bring like 2 big pizzas home a night and get mad if anyone ate any. At that point I had had enough of his ****, the whole second floor of the house smelled like baked ass because of his room.

As most 21 year old skateboarders I was blacked out almost every night. It was in those moments of brilliance that I decided after 10pm I would no longer use the bathroom to piss in. I would use bobs room.

I used it alot. I pee'd in his shoes, all over his cd's, on his piles of clothes, underneath his mattress. I got pretty bold at one point of actually going in while he was in there asleep.

 

[jonKranked]

lol that reminds me, a roommate of mine got home super hammered one night (thankfully didn't drive). i'm talking stumbling and incohorenet drunk. Naturally me and the other roommates had a few good laughs at his expense before he disappeared into his room. Moments later he comes out of his room wearing only his boxers, walks down the hall. Instead of turning right into the bathroom, he turns left and nearly falls down the stairs into the basement. Managed to steady himself and proceeds to piss down the stairs into the basement. Was sitting in the living room watching this next to my roommate, who happened to own the house. We watched in disbelief, then crack up at how drunk our roommate was. roomie staggers back to the bedroom, passes out. we continue to laugh about it. my roommate (house owner) makes the roommate mop the stairs and basement floor the following morning while he was still hungover.

 

[ultraNoob]

She ends up preggo, and my first response is "Not mine! I never threw the ball that deep..." and he takes it like a man, claiming she was on the rag, because he checked...I stopped the conversation there.

sig worthy

 

[DirtMcGirk]

My first year of law school I made the poor decision to bunk with a friend of mine. At first she was just crashing in my spare room until the landlord got hip to it after she got into a fight with someone else in the house (it was divided into 4 apartments) when my roommate blocked her into a parking space for five hours.

I then decided I felt bad for her, so I got a 2br 1ba with her and her boyfriend at this place in Sacramento. It was right next to the dumpster, which was awesome, and which she picked. Turns out she was also more of a germophobe then Howard Hughes, and was convinced that if we didn't clean the toilet every day she was going to get some sort of nasty cunt infection.

I'd normally come home to all of my phone gone down her fat gullet, and all of my booze down her boyfriend. I was married at the time, so my ex-wife would fly in a couple times a month to visit me. The silly whore would grab my ex, lock the door to her bedroom and proceed to tell her everything I had been doing in the last month since I'd last seen my bride. Mind you this would go on for two hours.

Finally after about a semester of her doing this ****, and coming up short on bills, never replacing food, so on and so forth, I decided to throw her an "eviction party." Had all my rugby buddies come over one day while she was at work, packed all over her crap into garbage bins, moved it out in the parking lot. Then we started a kegger and sung "ding dong the witch is dead" when she walked up.

Her tears still bring me a smile.

 

[ioscope]

I once had this bitch roommate that left notes on ****ing everything... "You didn't flush the toilet!" "You didn't clean the dryer lint!" "You left dishes in the sink!"

Normally, these notes would make me look like the dbag. Let me explain. The toilet was poorly plumbed and couldn't handle my manly floaters. Even after 2 flushes. I always clean the dryer lint BEFORE using the dryer, just like it says on the dryer! I left a dish in the sink to soak for no more than 15 minutes and that note was there.